I’ll Be Fine

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The Yankees have lost the first two games of the “big” series against the Suck Sux.

They’ve deserved too.

They have played sloppy, have pitched poorly, and have run into some bad luck, hitting rockets right at people.

As John Sterling says:

“That’s baseball, Suzyn.”

Now don’t get me wrong. I want the Yankees to win every game. I root for them to win every World Series, but I am also quite content with the 7 titles I’ve seen.

What kills me is that I routinely get my, uh, chops busted by fans of the following teams:

Bills, Sabres, Orioles, Mets, Phillies, Braves and Red Sux.

There aren’t 7 titles in that whole group over the last 50 years.

I try to explain that losing to the Sox doesn’t bother me more than losing to the Rays does...

...but my so-called friends have a grand old time reminding me of the score or the inning.

And do you know why they do it?

I do.

It’s because when the Yankees win I’m the worst winner of all time!

I have two buddies who have received a text immediately following a Yankees victory this season.

“Theeeeeeee Yankeeeeeeeeessssss Wiiiiiinnnn!!!”

Is the usual text of choice.

And here’s how I figure it:

The Yankees have not once lost more games than they’ve won in the last 30 years!

The win more games than they lose every single season!!

Check those teams above again....

...every single one of them has finished dead last in that span.

So, I’m fine.

I’m still way ahead of the game.

Oh.

One more thing:

For all of you tempted to check in on me because the Yankees have dropped the first two this weekend:

Take a flying leap!!

You’ll be hearing from me real soon!

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