What Happened?

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On Wednesday morning, I went into the shower at about 6:15.

(Stop imagining it!)

By the time I got out, 10 or so minutes later, I glanced at my phone and I had 5 text messages, a missed call and a voice mail.

Now to be fair, a couple of texts were about the Yankees beating the Red Sux, but the rest were work-related.

I made a conscious decision to NOT return any of the calls or texts until I was good and ready.

Cut to Wednesday afternoon. I was trying to write reports so I could finish the freaking work day before the baseball game started.

The phone rang.

Kathy was checking in to tell me that she’d be stopping at her mothers before coming home.

“Okay.”

“You want me to call you when I’m leaving there?” She asked.

“God no!”

She was a little surprised by my answer.

Beep, chime, Mellencanp singing Human Wheels (my ringtone), and now we’re blessed with the ESPN chime (to tell me the Bills are 25th in power rankings) (they don’t play a damn game for 4 more months - why do I need a message about that?)

And of course, news updates!

“Trump tweeted!!”

“It was stupid!”

“He says it’s fake news!!”

And I thought back.

Remember when we’d get up and leave the house, and our freaking phones would hang on the wall?

I never thought about my phone then.

I wasn’t at work thinking:

“I wonder what my phone is doing.”

God help you if you walk into a restaurant and attempt lunch without your phone in your hand.

Honestly, look around!

Everyone has their head down.

God help you if you’re second in line at the red light...you have to beep your horn to get them to look up...and they do...but give you the finger first.

Would we have been better off without these damn things?

The other day a guy texted me.

I read the text, but didn’t respond instantly.

He called me!

“I just sent you a text,” he said.

“You’re an idiot,” I answered.

“Why?” He asked.

“‘Cause you didn’t follow it up with an email.”

I sincerely hate the phone.

I long for the days when I’d be sitting at the bar and the bar phone would ring:

“If that’s for me, you haven’t seen me.”

That will never happen again, and that’s sad.

(Okay, you can stop thinking of my sculpted body as I exit the shower cause the blog is over).

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