The Superintendent Did What?

What a story.

The people who enjoyed running on the track at Holmdel School in New Jersey were enjoying it less, because, on a daily basis, they were noticing that there was human feces in their running lanes.

Now, I’m not a detective, but I’m thinking it might be easy enough to place a camera on the track to see what’s going on.

They probably didn’t alert the superintendent of their plan to catch the guy because...

...they caught the superintendent.

Yeah.

Tommy T (we don’t need his full name) was the Super of the school.

For one reason or another, he took a dump on the track every morning.

Seriously.

Tommy T. is a 42-year-old man who ascended to the top of his profession. He was earning top dollar. He looked like a normal dude!

He is now on paid leave after being arrested on charges that centered around public lewdness.

You gotta’ figure that things are going a tad askew when ‘public lewdness’ shows up in your arrest warrant.

And being the curious sort I gotta wonder:

“What the ****?????”

How does he handle the family summer barbecue when he runs into a cousin he hasn’t seen all year.

“So, Tommy! You’re doing great! Superintendent!! You’re so young! What an accomplishment!”

“Yeah,” Tommy whispers. “I’m taking a little time off from that gig.”

“Why? We’re all so proud of you! You did great!”

“Well, I ran into a little trouble, honestly,” Tommy says, bashfully.

“No! What happened? Did you have trouble with the teachers?”

“I got along well with the teachers.”

“The students? Kids these days are tough.”

“The kids were awesome.”

“Politics? Man, the politics are brutal in a town. The board of education can be a real pain.”

“No, no, no. Nothing like that,” Tommy says, staring at his feet.

“Well, what happened, man?”

“I took my morning dump on the running track and I got caught.”

“Oh. Well. Good luck with that, Tommy. It could happen to anyone, right?”

There wasn’t an actual reason given for Tommy T’s actions, but what could it possibly be????

Holy smokes!

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