Call Your Provider
We all have a television in our room. My room also serves as my work office so I usually put it on as I’m writing the day’s reports.
I also watch the end of every Yankees game in bed, and other than that...
...I can catch other things on the living room set, unless the NBA Playoffs are on and I’m tossed out as 4 teenagers laugh and make fun of one another.
Getting sent to bed as a more than middle-aged man is better than ever getting sent to bed as a child was.
So, I get home on Tuesday and report writing time, hit the remote and don’t hear anything. I finally look to the screen and see the following message:
“To activate your account, please call your service provider.”
Didn’t make sense.
Jake was watching television downstairs. I could hear it!
I decided to call the provider.
Now, full disclosure, I am normally prohibited from speaking to customer service reps. I lose patience quickly and I normally end up a lot more aggravated than before I placed the call.
I gave myself a pep talk.
“Be patient. Be nice. Relax.”
It took me a good five minutes to establish that I was indeed the guy calling to talk about my service. I recited my name (spelling it, besides), my mother’s birthday, my email address, my billing address and my favorite cereal (I think).
Finally he was ready to talk.
“My name is Adam. What can I help you with today?” He said, in a cheerful voice.
“My television doesn’t work,” I said. “Your number is on the screen to activate an account that I just wrote a check for that was as much as my house payment.”
Whoops.
Patience.
“Have you heard that we are switching you over to digital equipment to make it an even more amazing television experience?”
“What do you think?” I answered.
“Sir?” He asked.
“Do you think I heard about it?” I asked.
He laughed.
“No, I suppose you haven’t. Well, good news. We will have you up and running in no time.”
“Now would be good,” I said.
“Do you have one of the new digital recording devices?” He asked.
“I have a television, on the wall, and a remote,” I said.
“You are going to have to hook up the new digital box that we will provide for you. We have a lot of exciting technology on the way and, Mr. Frazalooney, it will be incredible.”
I was at about the end of my time as far as being patient went, but I decided to play along.
“How do I get the box?”
“You can stop by any of our offices. We are open until 7:00.”
Now I was curious.
“How much are the boxes?”
“It’s just $11.99 per month,” he said, cheerfully.
“And now I need one for every set?”
“The programming that we are developing...
I’d had enough. This dude wasn’t developing anything. I wouldn’t be listening to the television as I compiled reports, and that night’s Yankees game was also in peril as who was going to run over to our provider.
I did the only practical thing.
I hung up.
The next day, as my box was hooked up, I thought about the three stations that we had when I was a kid. We sometimes also got the Canadian station if the tin foil on the antenna worked right.
But the bastards have us by the short hairs!
I told Kathy about my call to my provider.
“Did you act like an idiot?”
“Nope!”
“You didn’t yell? Didn’t swear? Didn’t threaten to cancel everything?”
“I did not. I hung up.”
“Wow,” she said. “You’re growing up.”
Yep.
Paying an extra $60 to the provider will be well worth it.
Adam from customer service said that it’ll be spectacular!
I also watch the end of every Yankees game in bed, and other than that...
...I can catch other things on the living room set, unless the NBA Playoffs are on and I’m tossed out as 4 teenagers laugh and make fun of one another.
Getting sent to bed as a more than middle-aged man is better than ever getting sent to bed as a child was.
So, I get home on Tuesday and report writing time, hit the remote and don’t hear anything. I finally look to the screen and see the following message:
“To activate your account, please call your service provider.”
Didn’t make sense.
Jake was watching television downstairs. I could hear it!
I decided to call the provider.
Now, full disclosure, I am normally prohibited from speaking to customer service reps. I lose patience quickly and I normally end up a lot more aggravated than before I placed the call.
I gave myself a pep talk.
“Be patient. Be nice. Relax.”
It took me a good five minutes to establish that I was indeed the guy calling to talk about my service. I recited my name (spelling it, besides), my mother’s birthday, my email address, my billing address and my favorite cereal (I think).
Finally he was ready to talk.
“My name is Adam. What can I help you with today?” He said, in a cheerful voice.
“My television doesn’t work,” I said. “Your number is on the screen to activate an account that I just wrote a check for that was as much as my house payment.”
Whoops.
Patience.
“Have you heard that we are switching you over to digital equipment to make it an even more amazing television experience?”
“What do you think?” I answered.
“Sir?” He asked.
“Do you think I heard about it?” I asked.
He laughed.
“No, I suppose you haven’t. Well, good news. We will have you up and running in no time.”
“Now would be good,” I said.
“Do you have one of the new digital recording devices?” He asked.
“I have a television, on the wall, and a remote,” I said.
“You are going to have to hook up the new digital box that we will provide for you. We have a lot of exciting technology on the way and, Mr. Frazalooney, it will be incredible.”
I was at about the end of my time as far as being patient went, but I decided to play along.
“How do I get the box?”
“You can stop by any of our offices. We are open until 7:00.”
Now I was curious.
“How much are the boxes?”
“It’s just $11.99 per month,” he said, cheerfully.
“And now I need one for every set?”
“The programming that we are developing...
I’d had enough. This dude wasn’t developing anything. I wouldn’t be listening to the television as I compiled reports, and that night’s Yankees game was also in peril as who was going to run over to our provider.
I did the only practical thing.
I hung up.
The next day, as my box was hooked up, I thought about the three stations that we had when I was a kid. We sometimes also got the Canadian station if the tin foil on the antenna worked right.
But the bastards have us by the short hairs!
I told Kathy about my call to my provider.
“Did you act like an idiot?”
“Nope!”
“You didn’t yell? Didn’t swear? Didn’t threaten to cancel everything?”
“I did not. I hung up.”
“Wow,” she said. “You’re growing up.”
Yep.
Paying an extra $60 to the provider will be well worth it.
Adam from customer service said that it’ll be spectacular!
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