Pat Conroy

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Pat Conroy is one of my favorite authors.

Beach Music is in the top ten of my favorite books.

There were a few others that were nearly as good.

Conroy always made me think a lot and he wrote classic characters who were deep thinkers themselves.

All the while the plot move forward.

Great stuff.

We actually both received awards from the New England Book Festival -

- one year apart.

I missed his speech for having the best overall book of that year.

I showed up the next year.

Still pissed I missed it.

But I read the sad news a few days ago.

Conroy has pancreatic cancer.

There wasn't any discussion on his diagnosis or prognosis or any other kind of -osis.

He simply said that he owed his fans a novel and that he would finish it.

Then there was another quote.

(I'm paraphrasing).

He said that he spent a whole lot of time considering his life in an attempt to figure out what it meant...and that he was no closer to a solution than when he first started thinking about it.

And now he's supposedly walking up the 18th fairway.

And it hit me.

I've done a lot of what he has also done.

Think, wonder, think some more, read, measure, wonder, gaze in wild wonder, figure, compute and think a little more.

What does it mean?

And maybe some of it is a prerequisite for wanting to write.

Read another quote yesterday as well.

It said that you don't choose to write...

...you're chosen.

But I sensed a little regret in the Conroy quote.

I feel regret from time to time in my own mind.

Why so uptight?

And I thought about whether or not I could change a little...

...just a little.

Why don't you enjoy your life instead of trying to understand it?

The day when I read the quote I was in a hotel room.

I had the new book on the flash drive...

...I could and should work on the edit.

I was a little tired from a long day out on the sites.

I was also watching Billions and then Better Call Saul.

I was feeling guilty that I was just watching and not editing.

And I lectured myself for a moment.

Relax.

It'll figure itself out without me.

That's the sad part.

I hope Conroy has another 8 books in him.

And that by the time he goes he's figured all of it out.

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