Playing Dress Up

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So, it's Halloween week.

I was never actually big on the traditions.

I actually always felt weird dressing up and we all know enough to turn down any costume party invitations.

I can only actually remember four times when I dressed up:

As Howard Stern

As a Beautiful Woman

As a Hard-ass gangster type (Kathy went as a hooker).

And of course, As an beautiful tribal woman with a caveman husband (my brother, Jeff).

But I always felt silly as an adult, dressing up.

As a 51-year-old man...

...there's no way!

And it appears to me that the young girls of today dress up as scantily as they can...(that's what I notice on the Google machine) - which is a little weird.

Than there are the crazy costumes.

Caitlyn Jenner is the big costume this year.

Cecil the Lion is another.

And it occurs to me that people who go to a party dressed like that must surely get groans of discomfort...

...but I couldn't pull it off.

We don't get a lot of visitors to our door...courtesy of Melky...and I hate everything pumpkin...so there's that.

But playing dress up seems to be the weirdest part.

Unless you're one of those people who visit haunted houses.

We went once.

A fake ghost jumped out at Matt, who was about 4 years old at the time, and he pooped his pants and cried for an hour.

We had to leave.

I hear the haunted house admittance can be up to $50 a head.

Fifty bucks to walk through a haunted house?

You'd have to put me in the hospital with fright for that much cash.

But...who am I to crap on other people's fun?

Dress up!

Have a good time!!

And if you're going as Caitlyn, Pops...remember to put on a little perfume.

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