I Got a Big Tusk

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I listen to the Opie & Jim Norton show most every day.

Jim Norton is a very funny comic who makes me laugh at least three times a day.

He has an alter-ego named Chip Chiperson and Chip does all sorts of goofy things that usually bring the laughs.

I want to kill both Norton and Chip this week.

You see, Fleetwood Mac has a great old song called Tusk...it has a big band in it...and haunting lyrics.

I love the song.

So does Chip, evidently.

Except Chip ruined the song for me and has now replaced it all inside my head because he started chanting:

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

And you know what I spent Thursday and Friday listening to the voice in my head say?

Yeah.

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

Now imagine my despair when I actually said it out loud to a guy on a job site.

Yeah.

We were just having coffee and it popped into my head...

...and I said it.

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"What the f&*k did you just say?" he asked.

I tried to explain the situation but I was laughing.

"Listen to this idiot!" He told a co-worker.

The guy came by to see why I was laughing.

"Tell him," the first guy said.

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"What the f&*K?" The second guy asked.

I was laughing too hard to finish the conversation.

I just walked away and got back into my car.

I wasn't ten seconds clear of the job when the voice began again.

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

"I got a big tusk, just like an elephant."

I hate you Norton or Chip or whoever the hell.

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