Jeter, Jeter, Jeter!
Word came down on Wednesday that Derek Jeter is finally biting the bullet and marrying his longtime girlfriend, Hannah Davis.
First off, Hannah ain't no Kathy Fazzolari.
So Jeets might be making a mistake there because word around my house is that had Jeter ever met my wife (or my mother for that matter) he'd have been part of the family.
But have you noticed that men always say biting the bullet.
You know why?
Because there's a chance that it can explode and maim or kill the poor man who is in the process of entering holy matrimony.
I suppose it works both ways, but whenever there is a story that starts with:
"You know who's getting married?"
My mind automatically goes to:
"That poor clueless bastard."
And I usually say just that and get a weird look from my beautiful wife.
Yet marriage is a weird deal when you think about it from the point-of-view of a man who has been in it for a long period of time.
We were discussing it just the other day and I mentioned to said beautiful wife that the wedding vows should be a little more clear so that all involved knew the real score.
Something like this:
"Cliff, do you take Kathy to be your lawfully wedded wife through cooking and laundry?
Do you enjoy looking in drawers that are stuffed with shit for a band-aid?
What do you feel about dish-panned hands?
Did you know that through the years all the things you currently love will be stripped from you...one by one...without you even knowing they're being taken away?
Do you enjoy the feeling of being broke?
Do you like having just enough of the cash you earned to not get picked up for loitering?
How do you feel about kids taking the meager remaining dollars off of your tired carcass?"
The priest can then pose the question:
"You up for it?"
Of course, Jeter is going in with a bit more cash stowed away for a rainy day but it's all relative. There's a certain power there when it comes to women and their domination over men. (You figure it out).
Yet, they can probably get someone to help with the daily chores.
I'm thinking it's time.
Hannah may not be on par with my beautiful wife...
...but he can muddle through I'm sure.
Because even knowing all of it...
...as Springsteen said:
Two hearts are better than one.
Bite the bullet.
First off, Hannah ain't no Kathy Fazzolari.
So Jeets might be making a mistake there because word around my house is that had Jeter ever met my wife (or my mother for that matter) he'd have been part of the family.
But have you noticed that men always say biting the bullet.
You know why?
Because there's a chance that it can explode and maim or kill the poor man who is in the process of entering holy matrimony.
I suppose it works both ways, but whenever there is a story that starts with:
"You know who's getting married?"
My mind automatically goes to:
"That poor clueless bastard."
And I usually say just that and get a weird look from my beautiful wife.
Yet marriage is a weird deal when you think about it from the point-of-view of a man who has been in it for a long period of time.
We were discussing it just the other day and I mentioned to said beautiful wife that the wedding vows should be a little more clear so that all involved knew the real score.
Something like this:
"Cliff, do you take Kathy to be your lawfully wedded wife through cooking and laundry?
Do you enjoy looking in drawers that are stuffed with shit for a band-aid?
What do you feel about dish-panned hands?
Did you know that through the years all the things you currently love will be stripped from you...one by one...without you even knowing they're being taken away?
Do you enjoy the feeling of being broke?
Do you like having just enough of the cash you earned to not get picked up for loitering?
How do you feel about kids taking the meager remaining dollars off of your tired carcass?"
The priest can then pose the question:
"You up for it?"
Of course, Jeter is going in with a bit more cash stowed away for a rainy day but it's all relative. There's a certain power there when it comes to women and their domination over men. (You figure it out).
Yet, they can probably get someone to help with the daily chores.
I'm thinking it's time.
Hannah may not be on par with my beautiful wife...
...but he can muddle through I'm sure.
Because even knowing all of it...
...as Springsteen said:
Two hearts are better than one.
Bite the bullet.
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