FOREVER...
...IS A LONG-ASS TIME.
My best buddy's kid is getting married today. AJ is a mere 24 years old and by all accounts, it's a match-made in heaven and he will have 50 years of togetherness at least.
As stated here before, I always think of the Bruce song, Walk Like a Man, whenever I consider marriage:
Will they ever look so happy again, the handsome groom and his bride as they step into that long black limousine for their mystery ride? Well tonight I'll step away from you and alone at the altar I'll stand; As I watch my bride coming down the aisle, I'll pray for the strength to walk like a man.
"Did you tell him how long forever is?" I asked my buddy yesterday.
We both laughed. We've both been married forever, or so it seems. Jeff has been married a lot longer than me.
"He doesn't appear to be nervous," Jeff said. "But yeah, we had a little talk."
Now I've known the kid since he busted into the world in all his glory, and he's always been a remarkable kid...sort of looks like a Fuzzy too...I swear, I'm clean...but the sacrament of marriage shouldn't be entered lightly.
I want to get him to read this blog before he actually says, I do. A few questions for AJ to contemplate.
1). Do you like dish pan hands?
2). All those things you love to do?
Choose one.
That's what you'll have left...at the end of the day. throw the rest out the window. Any-who-ha.
3). Hold off talking about kids until you're actually holding one....because that will be all you talk about for the rest of your life once they arrive.
4). Doesn't she look nice now?
It's all a mirage.
Think sweatpants and three days without a shower.
Go ahead, laugh it up...it's coming. See the above about kids when you're considering whether or not they will let themselves go.
5). The remote isn't yours anymore.
Forget it. Get another television.
Make some other sort of arrangement or you're going to be sitting there watching an episode of Big Brother or America's Got Talent, wondering, "What the hell did I do?"
6). Don't ever ask: How was your day?
Women, all women, have a profound talent for remembering all eight hours broken down into stilted, unfunny comments and words that seem to run together but really don't have anything to do with one another.
You'll be standing in front of them going:
Does this end?
It doesn't.
7). All of the cute little things they do now that you find mildly irritating but unbelievably wonderful.
Ten years down the road will be mildly wonderful and unbelievably irritating.
Of course...
None of the above has anything remotely to do with my marriage to my beautiful wife. It has been absolute Camelot since the moment when the Justice of the Peace, the honorable Ward Weiser asked me if 'I do'.
You want to know what was running through my head before I answered Ward?
Here's a secret.
My beautiful wife doesn't even know.
I was thinking of the George Burns line:
I got married by a judge...I should've asked for a jury.
True story.
Good luck, AJ.
Pray for the strength to walk like a man.
That's what I was actually thinking.
I lied three sentences ago.
My best buddy's kid is getting married today. AJ is a mere 24 years old and by all accounts, it's a match-made in heaven and he will have 50 years of togetherness at least.
As stated here before, I always think of the Bruce song, Walk Like a Man, whenever I consider marriage:
Will they ever look so happy again, the handsome groom and his bride as they step into that long black limousine for their mystery ride? Well tonight I'll step away from you and alone at the altar I'll stand; As I watch my bride coming down the aisle, I'll pray for the strength to walk like a man.
"Did you tell him how long forever is?" I asked my buddy yesterday.
We both laughed. We've both been married forever, or so it seems. Jeff has been married a lot longer than me.
"He doesn't appear to be nervous," Jeff said. "But yeah, we had a little talk."
Now I've known the kid since he busted into the world in all his glory, and he's always been a remarkable kid...sort of looks like a Fuzzy too...I swear, I'm clean...but the sacrament of marriage shouldn't be entered lightly.
I want to get him to read this blog before he actually says, I do. A few questions for AJ to contemplate.
1). Do you like dish pan hands?
2). All those things you love to do?
Choose one.
That's what you'll have left...at the end of the day. throw the rest out the window. Any-who-ha.
3). Hold off talking about kids until you're actually holding one....because that will be all you talk about for the rest of your life once they arrive.
4). Doesn't she look nice now?
It's all a mirage.
Think sweatpants and three days without a shower.
Go ahead, laugh it up...it's coming. See the above about kids when you're considering whether or not they will let themselves go.
5). The remote isn't yours anymore.
Forget it. Get another television.
Make some other sort of arrangement or you're going to be sitting there watching an episode of Big Brother or America's Got Talent, wondering, "What the hell did I do?"
6). Don't ever ask: How was your day?
Women, all women, have a profound talent for remembering all eight hours broken down into stilted, unfunny comments and words that seem to run together but really don't have anything to do with one another.
You'll be standing in front of them going:
Does this end?
It doesn't.
7). All of the cute little things they do now that you find mildly irritating but unbelievably wonderful.
Ten years down the road will be mildly wonderful and unbelievably irritating.
Of course...
None of the above has anything remotely to do with my marriage to my beautiful wife. It has been absolute Camelot since the moment when the Justice of the Peace, the honorable Ward Weiser asked me if 'I do'.
You want to know what was running through my head before I answered Ward?
Here's a secret.
My beautiful wife doesn't even know.
I was thinking of the George Burns line:
I got married by a judge...I should've asked for a jury.
True story.
Good luck, AJ.
Pray for the strength to walk like a man.
That's what I was actually thinking.
I lied three sentences ago.
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