E.S.C.N.

The Entertainment Sports Cliff Network.

What's happening in a world where playing with a ball will make you a king.

1). Cliff Fazzolari is resting comfortably after five days of golf in 6 days. Despite his frail condition there's an outside chance he will be ready for the weekend when the folks from Baltimore make their weekly trip to Buffalo. This time the Baltimorons will get a drubbing.

2). The 27-time World Champion Yankees soundly whipped the Boston Suck Sox last night despite the fact that the Yankees had been forced by MLB to play their 5th game in 3 days while the Suck Sox had 2 days off to get ready. Watching the game, however, was painful as the Suck Sox pitchers take a full 40 seconds to throw each pitch. MLB is looking into it.

3). Javaris Crittenton is finally under arrest after shooting a mother of four last week - allegedly - the former NBA player can't understand why they are charging him. He didn't mean to shoot her. He was aiming for the guy she was standing next to. Can they still charge you when you miss the target? If he knew that was a crime he wouldn't have done it. This is the same guy who got kicked out of the NBA because he was the first sponser of the 'bring your guns to work' program.

4). Barry Bonds may still be held for obstruction of justice in his steroid case. In fact, he will be sentenced in December. They wanted to sentence him earlier but he has denied ever taking steroids. The case has taken so long to sort out because the courts have had to expand their front doors so that Bonds' head can clear the sidewalls so he can attend the hearing.

5). Michael Vick is a rich man again. "I had no idea, when I was drowning them bastards, that killing dogs was wrong," Vick said. "One of 'em shit on the carpet too, you never hear that get reported by these animal lovers."

Vick's contract is for $100 million dollars and there is a clause in it that says the future lawyers in dog-killers life are free to grab as much money as they can before he kills something else and claims that killing is part of how he was brought up.

Vick had a huge grin at the press conference to announce the deal. As pen met the paper Vick was mouthing the words that got him through his prison sentence and his months long recovery:

"Electrocution is wrong. Death by hanging is wrong. Drowning defenseless creatures is wrong. Throwing the ball and running fast is okay."

"Mike has finally got it," the proud Eagles owner said.

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