Sobriety Is Boring

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I did the old LOL last night when I was watching Family Guy and Peter, after being shown what his life was like with too much alcohol, as well as what he would have been like completely sober, said:

"When I'm drunk I'm a jerk but when I'm sober I'm a douche."

Then I read an article from my rehab buddy Charlie Sheen who explained that being sober is boring, and though it's sad...I sort of get both quotes from the above-mentioned cartoon characters.

Pitchers and catchers reported yesterday. The Yankees had five catchers and three pitchers report.

The winds were howling at 55 mph here yesterday. It's always dark. Everyone is falling down on the ice. My kids believe in the 'it'll melt' idea of snow shoveling and Valentine's Day is behind us.

There's a chance it can get boring.

And I am not anti-drinker enough to pretend that a shot of Jameson's wouldn't warm me, but as sad as it seems to be, Charlie is not going to stay sober for long.

I was joking about going into rehab with Charlie, but I haven't had a drink since he got busted. Sort of an inside joke that has propelled me through a few drink less weekends. Hell, not even a beer watching the stupor bowl!

And it isn't anything I've even really thought about because the beer in my fridge may have had a birthday in there. I just don't grab one for something to do.

But Peter is certainly right. Too long in the sober tank and I have douche-like tendencies. I'm always right. I look for something to clean. I drive the wife and kids nuts. I watch some bad TV. I walk around the house saying, 'So, what's going on?'

Everyone sort of looks at me. I'm sure that for Charlie, life seems like it is going real, real slow right now.

Yet who needs the chaos, right? I'm sure that those who really suffer through the destruction of abuse, feel some sort of solace in everything slowing down enough for them to enjoy the things that matter. Right?

Ah, hell, probably not.

Wonder if Charlie will fall off the wagon before the real baseball season starts.

If he goes, I sort of have to go with him.

We made a deal.

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