Oh God, Shoot Me Please!

-
My back feels like a piece of plywood. My legs each seem to weigh about 200 pounds. When I turn my neck the wrong way ripples of pain shoot down my spine and make my toes stand on end.

Who the hell's idea was it to play softball?

The few beers I drank after the game masked the pain just enough for me to fall asleep on the couch - at 8 PM - as though I were 80 years old and had missed my nap.

The two singles I hit weren't enough for me to ride the sport's high through even one day. I remember being in college and having to work out with my roommate's wrestling team. After a vigorous day of lifting weights I saw him in the hallway in our apartment. "If I could lift my arms," I told him. "I'd slap your face for making me work out."

Yes - my philosophy of working out has always been the same - "No pain... no pain," I believe.

We have a lot of stairs in our home. I'm writing this post just because I don't feel like falling down the stairs yet.

At least I got a text message from a friend who had also played in the game - "How sore are you?" he asked.

I answered with one word - and not just because it pained me to do the text messaging - "Brutal!"

He summed it all up best - "We should have had more beer," he replied.

Thank God I got that last at-bat out of the way - I'll leave the sports to the kids or to Lance Armstrong.

No wonder they all took steroids - I'd shotgun a vat of them right now if it would make it stop hurting.

Comments

deafjeff said…
I had to get up at 4:30 to go to work. I didn't think I was going to make it down the stairs. I played a round of golf and shot an amazing 108. At least you got two hits. I should of sat down after the second inning. I was proud of myself for not dropping any throws.
14 July, 2008
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I be...
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C...
Read more

Eyes on the Horizon

-
Image
My sister’s book is out there! Go get it!! It makes me so proud to see the book on Amazon, knowing that it’s very, very great! It’s been a long, long time since we were out in California, brainstorming my stories long before they were published. Carrie Lynn was writing, writing and writing some more through the years and I kept telling her… …”Go for it!” Well, she did!  To amazing results. Of course I was able to read the book as it was being put together, but I ordered a copy from Amazon yesterday and can’t wait to read it again. The shoe is on the other foot now as I have been sitting on a lot of my writing lately. I plan on getting it out there before the end of 2024, but for now: Carrie takes center stage! And it’s so great… …go get a copy!
Read more