It's Not Freaking Funny
Guess who has a pool! It's not a big one - just a little four-footer that is supposed to inflate as you add water. We got it from my brother who is moving to a much bigger model. The kids are excited, however, and 2 of 3 of them have mentioned that I was right and they were wrong about their favorite sports teams.
Unfortunately, I was right and they were also wrong about the pool.
We put it in the space behind the garage - which was okay with me because it didn't cut the yard in half. Except as we were filling it for the first time, my beautiful wife noticed that it was on a tilt. She emptied out the 700 gallons of water and we started over the next day - by putting the pool in the very center of the backyard - a backyard that I nourished, weeded and grass-seeded for months.
"Have a little fun," my wife said. "Enjoy life a little."
Yesterday morning, I started to refill the pool again. An hour into it, we had to abort the mission because water was spilling over the side. After work, we built up the sides and started again. The boys were at baseball as I was writing reports, but the dogs and I headed into the backyard every so often to check the progress of the pool.
After four hours of filling, I went out to notice that there was water spilling over the sides again. There wasn't anyone within shouting distance to help. It took Herculean strength but I lifted the back end of the pool and slipped a four-by-four underneath to rebuild the side. I got it done just in time to see the hose pop off and water coming rushing out again. Now I've told you about my mechanical deficiencies - I had no idea it was a missing hose - I just figured we were missing a plug - so I stuffed a garden glove in the hole. It was right about then when Kathy and the boys came home.
Our half-inflated monstrosity, that is killing my grass, just sat there.
"This pool sucks," Jake said.
Kathy just laughed.
"It's not freaking funny," I said. "I threw my back out trying to move 2,000 gallons of water."
"Two thousand? I've told you a million times not to exaggerate," Kathy said.
It's not freaking funny. God, I hate being right.
Unfortunately, I was right and they were also wrong about the pool.
We put it in the space behind the garage - which was okay with me because it didn't cut the yard in half. Except as we were filling it for the first time, my beautiful wife noticed that it was on a tilt. She emptied out the 700 gallons of water and we started over the next day - by putting the pool in the very center of the backyard - a backyard that I nourished, weeded and grass-seeded for months.
"Have a little fun," my wife said. "Enjoy life a little."
Yesterday morning, I started to refill the pool again. An hour into it, we had to abort the mission because water was spilling over the side. After work, we built up the sides and started again. The boys were at baseball as I was writing reports, but the dogs and I headed into the backyard every so often to check the progress of the pool.
After four hours of filling, I went out to notice that there was water spilling over the sides again. There wasn't anyone within shouting distance to help. It took Herculean strength but I lifted the back end of the pool and slipped a four-by-four underneath to rebuild the side. I got it done just in time to see the hose pop off and water coming rushing out again. Now I've told you about my mechanical deficiencies - I had no idea it was a missing hose - I just figured we were missing a plug - so I stuffed a garden glove in the hole. It was right about then when Kathy and the boys came home.
Our half-inflated monstrosity, that is killing my grass, just sat there.
"This pool sucks," Jake said.
Kathy just laughed.
"It's not freaking funny," I said. "I threw my back out trying to move 2,000 gallons of water."
"Two thousand? I've told you a million times not to exaggerate," Kathy said.
It's not freaking funny. God, I hate being right.
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