Missing Mass

I believe it was Johnny Carson who said that your chances of getting struck by lightning dramatically increase if you shake your fists at the heavens and yell, "God Sucks!"

I missed church today - I try and bring the kids every week, but once in a while, I miss Mass - there, I said it.

As I grew up, Catholic school guilt made me feel as though I were worse than Charles Manson if I even thought about not going to church - yet, let us examine my day.

I was up and out of the house by 7 AM - I played 18 holes of golf with my brother, my brother-in-law, and a good buddy. We laughed, made fun of each other a little, and had a healthy competition to see who would buy lunch - (I ate free - thanks, Jeff and Jeff).

We were out in the woods walking around, chasing a little white ball. I honestly thought about the fact that I would miss mass, but I quickly forgot about it as we finished the 18th hole - "Let's play 9 more," my brother said.

I was feeling a little guilty - it was nearing noon and Kathy and the boys were all alone, and I had missed church. "Let me call," I said.

"Stay all day," Kathy said. "I'm cleaning the house and I'd rather do it with you out of the way."

So, now my guilt was all gone. I returned home around three- got dinner done, cleaned up a little and then hung out with the dogs, the boys, and Kathy.

Together, tonight, we'll say our prayers, and hopefully God will not frown too much on my day of relaxation. I'm not a bad guy, right? It's all good, as the kids say.

Whatever, I refuse to think of Sister Virgalin telling me that there are just ten commandments and we should be able to honor them all. I can hardly hear Sister Ambroset telling me that I am on my way to eternal damnation. Sister Mary David is certainly shaking her head in disgust, somewhere and Father Weiss must be rolling around in his grave.

Me? I got a free lunch, and I have a clear mind to face the week.

Oh crap, no I don't - I wonder if there's a midnight mass out there somewhere.

Comments

deafjeff said…
Have you ever bought lunch? Your great talent seems to be making the teams in your favor!

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