Airline Troubles

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Southwest received a $7 billion taxpayer bailout.

Southwest paid $428 million in taxpayer dividends to their wealthy stockholders.

We all know what happened this past week.

They canceled almost every single flight, losing everyone’s luggage, and stranding thousands and thousands of people in airports all over the country.

On Christmas.

I’m sure that they were announcing:

“We’re sorry about the inconvenience” every three minutes and offering people a 3 ounce bottle of water and a bag of Cheeze-it’s with 4 crackers in the bag.

A $7 billion buyout doesn’t go far these days.

And the problem wasn’t that there weren’t pilots or flight attendants available.

There were also plenty of planes.

Pilots were sitting in hotel rooms, waiting to be told when they were leaving.

Wasn’t weather either. 

All the other airlines were taking off for all points.

The problem?

Their outdated software!

They couldn’t figure out where to send the planes or the pilots or the luggage.

When people got irate it was the customer service people left in tears.

Southwest allegedly called the cops to have the irate customers arrested.

Know what will happen now?

Two months from now the luggage will arrive.

Six months from now the customers will get a $75 cert for their next flight and a free drink coupon.

I’ve slept on the floor at a couple of airports. 

I’ve had lost luggage.

I’ve heard the “sorry for the inconvenience” announcement about a half-a-million times.

It’s the worst!

But I hold out little hope that those customers will get satisfaction.

I’m sure the rich CEO’s will throw up all over their winter home.

Poor bastards.

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