One Ugly Mother

I’m a man who fights an internal battle each and every day. I have one question that needs to be constantly answered:

“Is everything all right?”

It’s a question I ask myself in the morning and at night before I go to bed. The thing about life is that most days not EVERYTHING is all right.

There are usually some loose threads.

When the kids were young that question got obliterated every day. I went to bed exhausted and oh, the clutter!

Taught me to be patient.

For a little while there.

Anyway, I found all sorts of ways to entertain the kids and if something interested them I strongly encouraged it.

I got a whole lot of mileage out of Godzilla, King Kong and Alien versus Predator.

I made a sort of tactical error when I grabbed the Schwarzenegger Alien movies, though. 

I had never seen those particular flicks. 

Had no idea that there was strong language throughout.

Cut to Sam’s first day of kindergarten at Sacred Heart. 

We waited for the bus at the foot of the driveway. Kathy had the camcorder going and was in tears.

“He’s my baby. Going to school! Our last one!”

The bus left, Kathy dried her eyes and headed off to work. I headed back into the house and was working on a few emails when the landline phone rang.

“Mr. Fazzolari? This is Sister Mary from Sacred Heart. Can you or your wife come down to the school?”

My heart sank.

“Oh, I’m sorry! The boys are fine, but there’s a behavioral issue with Salvatore.”

“What? What did he do?”

“It’s better if you come down. I will explain.”

As it turned out, Sam paid great attention to the Alien movie.

“He called his teacher, ‘One ugly mother-f***er,” Sister Mary said, her voice going silent at the end of her sentence.

I had to stifle a laugh, but I handled it perfectly fine as I offered my deep apologies.

I was asked to talk to Sam before I left. I gave him instructions on how he can get through the day, and I called Kathy immediately.

“Oh my God!” Kathy exclaimed. “Did you apologize?”

“Of course.”

“What do you think?” Kathy asked.

“His eyesight is perfect,” I said.

That night, I didn’t sleep soundly.

Couldn’t get around to ‘Everything is all right’.

(Sam loves that story).

It’s one for the family chronicles.