Left to My Own Devices

Kathy & Sam decided on a mini road trip to visit my niece and nephews.

“Who’s going to cook dinner?” I asked, when Kathy first brought it up.

She gave me a sideways glance. 

“Who will do the laundry and clean up around here?”

“You’re funny,” she said.

Because, of course, I’m truly independent.

“The pressure will be off,” she said.

“Oh yeah.”

As luck may have had it, I was instantly incredibly busy at work.

So, as it turns out, you know what I do when the wife is gone?

First thing was:

I cleaned everything and put everything in its place.

Then:

Clutter-free!

I ate what I wanted!

I had taken out a lot of steak on day one, figuring they would eat before they left.

They didn’t.

I had a huge porterhouse on day one.

On day two, Jake was around so we had more steak and I added a couple of tails.

Day 3 we ate our favorite Mexican joint.

And it would be quiet around here, but we have a puppy throwing everything into a spin.

“How are you enjoying being a single man?” Kathy asked.

“Turns out I like to eat,” I said.

“Everything is put away too, right?”

“Yep!”

“That’s good, right?”

It was honestly worth the trip, but I couldn’t say that.

“Please hurry back, I miss you so,” I said.

“Goodbye,” she answered.

Phone went silent.

I went back to my steak.