Murder Shows

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SNL did a skit a couple months back about how women all across this great land are addicted to murder shows. 

There are a whole bunch of stations devoted to it. The shows run one after another, all day long - 24/7.

My beautiful wife has caught about 90% of them.

We devote our weekends to the new ones on Dateline and 48 Hours.

First off, I don’t know what the attraction is to watch such shows. It’s the worst of humanity, but the stories draw me in.

Lately, I have really been feeling the deaths. On Friday night they detailed the murder of a pretty young woman from Florida. One of her friends shot her in the back of the head for about $30 grand.

“What a damn shame,” I said, more than once. “What would make you do something like that?”

“Oh there’s a few people out there,” Kathy said with a laugh.

“Really?” 

I don’t know about my wife (which is a little scary) but I’ve never had even a passing thought. I’m a pretty passive guy.

But the thing is, on Friday night as I watched that show, hundreds of Americans were murdered.

How did we devolve into such a place?

How about we have a day, every year, where we all take a vow...

...to NOT kill anyone that day?

Pick a day!

National Murder Free Day!

Think of the possibilities. We can advertise it, sell mugs and tee-shirts.

“No one murders anyone today!”

If you’re planning a crime, put it off a day? 

Pissed at your drug dealer?

Do it tomorrow!

Want to get rid of your spouse but don’t want to deal with divorce?

Don’t do it on murder-free day!!

But.

Here’s the rub:

I don’t think we could do it!!

In fact, we have become so argumentative about everything that I think that if we proposed a murder-free day we’d actually have more murders that day so that a portion of the population could denounce the ‘pansy, libtards’ who don’t like murder.

Ah well,

Makes for good television, I guess.

If we were truly against violence in society we’d probably spend less time being entertained by it.

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