Jeopardy

-

I’m throwing my hat in the ring!

I’m ready to take over for Alex Trebek.

I saw some clips of Aaron Rodgers. He isn’t funny, and I’m smarter than him.

We would just have to put it on cable because I would like the opportunity to swear a little if the feeling strikes me.

Truth be told, I don’t watch a lot of game shows. I don’t know why but puzzles and games make me feel anxious.

It has something to do with being impatient, I think.

But that shouldn’t stop me from hosting, right?

The reasons why I need to be the host?

1). It’s an easy gig and a natural for me! They give you the answers!! I have condescending prick down to a science. I’ve been pretending that I’m smart for like 56 and a half years.

2). They film it all in about a week’s time. They pay you a king’s ransom for very little work. Trebek was outstanding at it and got a whole lot of respect, but he was only working about a week a year.

That’s perfect!

3). Rodgers doesn’t need the gig. He’s the freaking quarterback for the Packers. He lives in a mansion. Has a brand new hot wife who is certainly not Kathy Fazzolari, but let’s be real here:

I’m better looking than him.

Now, I’m also hearing that LeVar Burton is also taking a turn at it. I know he’s smarter than me, but again, the answers are on the card!

I just have to pretend to be smart, and not to belabor the point, but I do that all the time!

And one other thing:

Putting your answer in the form of a question is dopey.

When I’m in charge, that’s going away!

My other demands?

I get to host in a Yankees shirt and shorts.

I’m not wearing a tie.

Let Burton have his turn at hosting, and then call me in.

I’m ready to go!

May Trebek Rest In Peace.

He’d definitely recommend me if he were still around.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I be...
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C...
Read more

Eyes on the Horizon

-
Image
My sister’s book is out there! Go get it!! It makes me so proud to see the book on Amazon, knowing that it’s very, very great! It’s been a long, long time since we were out in California, brainstorming my stories long before they were published. Carrie Lynn was writing, writing and writing some more through the years and I kept telling her… …”Go for it!” Well, she did!  To amazing results. Of course I was able to read the book as it was being put together, but I ordered a copy from Amazon yesterday and can’t wait to read it again. The shoe is on the other foot now as I have been sitting on a lot of my writing lately. I plan on getting it out there before the end of 2024, but for now: Carrie takes center stage! And it’s so great… …go get a copy!
Read more