Dark Clouds

I’m not a fan of the big, dark clouds that seem to press down on you from above.

Unfortunately I had to drive 5 hours over the course of a couple of days and soon enough, we had a theme.

I heard a song, ‘Shining Eyes’ by James McMurtrey that made me think of 1989, and a girl I was dating back then. 

I saw her clearly in my mind’s eye, and those dark clouds pressed down as I mourned her passing about a year ago.

I thought of her life for about twenty or thirty miles and it hurt my heart.

Mick & Keith came on a little while later doing ‘Memory Motel’ with the chorus, “You’re just a memory of a love that used to mean so much to me.”

So, we definitely had a theme for the lonely dark ride!

Then I heard about an illness, thought about the latest mass shooting, and the kid who was shot dead in Chicago.

Man, life can beat you down!

Then I thought back to some of the summer days in the past.

A softball game, or a night out with a group of friends, throwing darts or playing video hockey.

I’ve often heard it said that you can control your mood by thinking positive thoughts.

I’ve often thought, “What the hell good would that do?”

But I tried it.

Garbage in, garbage out is a lonely place to be, but every time I tried to change the mood, those dark clouds pressed down on the damn hood of the car.

I picked up the golf ball I carry around with me, thought about our Sunday morning tee time.

“It’s gonna’ be cold.”

Just kept moving forward.

On a job I spoke to a guy about being vaccinated. He told me that I was dumb because I didn’t know what was in the shot.

I wasn’t going to get into that argument.

Bruce brought me out of it, as he usually does, with ‘Reason to Believe’ off the Nebraska record.

“Struck me kind of funny. Seems kind of funny, sir to me, how at the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe.”

I shut the car door.

Heavy, dark clouds and a light rain.

I thought about my old friend who’d passed away way too young.

Reason to believe.