Washington Lying Bastards

I’m thinking that the title of this post should be the new name of the D.C. football team.

It’s perfect.

 

It can only offend those who are lying bastards and since they don’t have a conscience, they won’t care.

But I have listened to the argument against the Redskins and Indians for years.

“Their name doesn’t offend anyone,” a pasty white guy told me.

“Maybe it offends Native Americans,” I said.

“It shouldn’t,” he said. “Everyone is so sensitive.”

“What’s your heritage?” I asked.

“Polish and proud!” He said.

“What if they were the Washington Pollacks?” I said.

“Not the same thing,” he answered.

“The Native Americans wouldn’t be offended then,” I said.

“Where’s it end?” He asked. “Are people offended by the Braves or Warriors or even the Yankees? People from the south don’t like the Yankees.”

I decided to go to a reliable source.

My father-in-law is a huge Cleveland Indians fan.

“What do you think about them changing the name?” I asked.

“Change it,” he said. “It’s a stupid name.”

I was shocked!

“You’ve been watching them for 70 years. Changing the name doesn’t matter?”

“They should change it. Indians! It’s a bad name. It pisses people off. Doesn’t piss me off but I’m not an Indian. If I was, it would piss me off.”

I laughed.

Pretty simple in his mind.

They’ll make a killing selling the new merchandise.

I’m sure they’ll have a contest to pick the new name.

I’m thinking ‘Lying Bastards’ should be considered.

Doesn’t matter what they change it to, though.

Half the country will like it and half will hate it and everyone will be nasty about it.

Even the lying bastards.