Goner
Whenever I have to fly for work we have a joke about cashing in on the life insurance.
“Landed. No life insurance claim,” is how I normally phrase it.
Sometimes it comes back:
“Darn.”
Boston to Buffalo is a quick flight and normally it doesn’t even cross my mind that planes do sometimes crash. Honestly, I never think about it at all.
On Wednesday evening I got on the plane with the plan to read a little and maybe sleep for a few minutes. My headphones were on the fritz so I didn’t have music, but it’s only an hour or so...
...how bad could it be?
I forgot about annoying bastards who like to talk.
The two guys behind me hit it off. So, I had to listen to the “What do you do? Are you married? Do you have kids? Trump is something, huh?”
“Shut-up! Shut-up!! Shut-up!!!”
I never told them to shut-up and they didn’t. I seriously wondered, at one point, if they were falling in love. I haven’t said that much to my beautiful wife since about ‘97.
I read until I felt a little droopy and closed my eyes.
“We’re at 10,000 feet,” the captain said. “We’re bringing by 3 ounces of water and a bag with 3 tiny cookies in it.”
Nope!
Eyes closed. They’ll buzz right on by.
Except it didn’t go down like that.
The plane shook.
I opened my eyes.
It shook harder.
Felt like we dropped...
...a lot.
I saw a drink and a bag fly up the aisle.
“Look at the flight attendant,” I thought. “If they don’t panic, we’re okay.”
The guy I looked at was on the verge of soiling his pants.
We kept shaking.
“Flight attendants sit please!” The captain called out.
He sounded like he was scared!
“We’re crashing,” I thought. “I’m dead.”
The shaking continued.
One of the flight attendants actually fell to one knee.
“Our Father....”
And then it stopped.
Took a long minute but we evened out.
40 minutes later I was on the ground. I didn’t even send my joke text.
“Land?” Was the text I received.
“Barely. We almost crashed,” I answered.
“Haha.”
I didn’t tell her I wasn’t joking.
But she could’ve cashed the life insurance check.
I don’t really want to be obliterated on a plane...
...but it would be lucrative for her.
“Landed. No life insurance claim,” is how I normally phrase it.
Sometimes it comes back:
“Darn.”
Boston to Buffalo is a quick flight and normally it doesn’t even cross my mind that planes do sometimes crash. Honestly, I never think about it at all.
On Wednesday evening I got on the plane with the plan to read a little and maybe sleep for a few minutes. My headphones were on the fritz so I didn’t have music, but it’s only an hour or so...
...how bad could it be?
I forgot about annoying bastards who like to talk.
The two guys behind me hit it off. So, I had to listen to the “What do you do? Are you married? Do you have kids? Trump is something, huh?”
“Shut-up! Shut-up!! Shut-up!!!”
I never told them to shut-up and they didn’t. I seriously wondered, at one point, if they were falling in love. I haven’t said that much to my beautiful wife since about ‘97.
I read until I felt a little droopy and closed my eyes.
“We’re at 10,000 feet,” the captain said. “We’re bringing by 3 ounces of water and a bag with 3 tiny cookies in it.”
Nope!
Eyes closed. They’ll buzz right on by.
Except it didn’t go down like that.
The plane shook.
I opened my eyes.
It shook harder.
Felt like we dropped...
...a lot.
I saw a drink and a bag fly up the aisle.
“Look at the flight attendant,” I thought. “If they don’t panic, we’re okay.”
The guy I looked at was on the verge of soiling his pants.
We kept shaking.
“Flight attendants sit please!” The captain called out.
He sounded like he was scared!
“We’re crashing,” I thought. “I’m dead.”
The shaking continued.
One of the flight attendants actually fell to one knee.
“Our Father....”
And then it stopped.
Took a long minute but we evened out.
40 minutes later I was on the ground. I didn’t even send my joke text.
“Land?” Was the text I received.
“Barely. We almost crashed,” I answered.
“Haha.”
I didn’t tell her I wasn’t joking.
But she could’ve cashed the life insurance check.
I don’t really want to be obliterated on a plane...
...but it would be lucrative for her.
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