Saturday, November 19, 2016

Married Life

So, watching the Sopranos the other night and Carmela's mother tearfully says, of her husband:

"I hope I die before he does because I don't want to miss him."

I turned to my beautiful wife:

"That's not your philosophy, is it?" I asked.

Kathy thought about it for a moment:

"Nope!" She said.

We also have a running battle going with her shoes.

Our shoe room is also the room where we keep the dog food. I am tasked with feeding the dogs in the morning so the first thing I see each morning are her shoes kicked off right in front of the pail that holds the dog food.

I kick her shoes out of the way.

That aggravates her to no end.

So where do you think her shoes go the next day?


I've been kicking her shoes for 20 years.

She puts them right back there.

And we've even discussed it...and just continued on our Merry way.

The watching of television shows is even more entertaining. Minka Kelly appeared on the screen. I turned to Sam.

"That's the girl I broke up with to go out with your mother," I said.

"Why? Are you crazy?" He asked.

I laughed.

"Seriously?" Kathy asked. "You think someone like her would go out with someone like HIM?"

"You did," I said.

"I was drunk off my ass that entire year!"

Sam didn't know what to say.

"Besides," Kathy said. "She was 5 years old when you went out with her if you dumped her for me."

So, I hadn't thought it all the way through...

...but the shoe can also go on the other foot as well.

"A-Rod is good-looking," she famously said one night when we were watching the Yankees.

"Okay," I said. "Me and A-Rod are standing side-by-side and you have to choose one of us."

She laughed.

"Go ahead, laugh," I said. "What would you tell the boys?"

She thought about it for a split-second:

"Pack your shit, boys, we're moving to the Bronx," she answered.

I'm going to kick her shoes today.

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