Thursday, November 17, 2016
At Least We Didn't Have to Climb A Pole
Saw this phone in an office today.
Doesn't it look weird?
When I looked at it my mind did a trick.
I thought about calling a girl back in high school.
"How long are you going to be on the phone?"
"I need the phone!"
And the cord never stretched far enough away to get clear of my brothers and sisters.
"Who are you talking to?"
Dialing the phone was a whole 'nother thing.
We'd be happy for the low numbers so you didn't have to dial the zero every single time and if your finger slipped...you'd have to hit the button and start all over again.
What was amazing was that as I stared at the phone the mind trick took me all the way back in time.
I could almost hear the girl's voice in my ear.
What the hell did we talk about so long?
Everything seemed so important!
What was really frustrating was the busy signal.
"Who is she talking to?"
I showed the boys the photo.
"That's a phone?" Sam asked. "How'd you carry it?"
We didn't carry them!
Actually, we could get lost!
Fast-forward to years later and being seated at a bar...
...the phone would ring.
"I'm not here!" A dozen guys would call out.
David Spade was doing his comedy the other day.
He said that he lost his phone for ten hours.
"I didn't know how to drive without looking at it," he said. "What was I supposed to do? Look around? Out the window?"
Looking at the phone I almost longed for the day.
What a weird looking contraption.
We have a problem. Our standards have been lowered, lowered and lowered to the point where we are on the verge of allowing a man who is be...
Was on a job in Smithfield, Rhode Island. I turned a corner and saw a Lull in the air. There wasn't anyone in the seat and the load wa...
It's weird, but from the time when you're a little kid you get these mental images about a state that you've never actually visi...
I didn't have a lot of relationships prior to marriage that lasted much longer than twenty days. So, to be sitting here twenty years i...