Newlyweds Butting Heads

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Well, believe it or not there was another football player in the news over the weekend.

Heard about it?

I'll try to catch you up.

Chad came into the league with the surname Johnson. He was issued number 85 with the Bengals and he liked the number so much he changed his last name to Chad Ochocinco...which if my Spanish is correct isn't even 85. It's ochenta y cinco.

Whatever.

He was a decent player. Not great, decent, but he was always driving the Bengals crazy. The got rid of him eventually and he sort of bounced around.

He was absolutely pitiful last year with New England because he couldn't grasp the playbook. So, he lost his job.

Chad blamed it on the fact that the Pats were stifling his winning personality. He even made reference to the fact that he was sick of his name.

Chad Johnson signed with Miami. He told his new employer that he was going back to being himself. He even went and got himself married. He would not rest until he was back on track to the Hall of Fame, which no one mentioned he was on track, except for Chad Ochocinco.

The honeymoon didn't last long.

His new bride found 42 condoms in his personal space. Evidently they didn't have much call for condoms so she asked him about it.

An argument ensued.

The new Chad couldn't restrain himself. He wanted to be true to his form. He allegedly ended the argument with a headbutt.

He headbutted his wife!!!!

I asked my beautiful wife if that would be a deal-breaker.

"I'd beat the living shit out of you," she said.

The Dolphins did the right thing.

Did you hear me?

A team did the right thing!

They cut Chad.

Hopefully the rest of the league follows suit.

Hall-of-Fame, Ochocinco???

Buy a ticket.

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