Today: The Economy is Great!

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Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

I was flipping through the stations when I saw Greta Van Sustern, the woman who mangled herself with plastic surgery after the OJ trial, exclaim:

"The economy is in shambles! We'll talk about how to fix it!"

I wasn't sticking around to see how it all worked out. I had the Dick Van Dyke Show starting on ME Television. You see, as the leg continues to bark, I've gotten in touch with a lot of old shows.

How I've been longing for yesterday.

Besides, what were four well-dressed talking heads, eating hundred dollar dinners and sleeping in thousand dollar hotel suites going to tell me about how to stretch a dollar?

I relied on the Petrie's for that. Coincidentally, Rob lost his job for a couple of months as the Alan Brady Show went on summer hiatus.

The laughs ensued as Rob and Laura talked about their roles. There was a moment when Laura offered to do dance lessons when Rob yelled:

"My wife isn't going to work! People will think I'm not a bread-winner!"

Think about that.

If my wife came to me with a plan to clean the house and cook dinner and just plain wait for me to get home so she can serve me...uh, uh, uh,

Ain't gonna' happen.

And it struck me that every day there are nine shows about the economy being bad, but people are still spending $80 to eat crap sauce at Italian Restaurants, or $500 to catch a football game where all the combatants are millionaires and their bosses are billionaires.

I'm here to announce:

THE ECONOMY IS GREAT!!!! EVERYTHING IS PERFECT!!!

Now, I'm not an economics major but isn't there such a thing as consumer confidence?

And why is 40% of the population out of work when farmers are on television saying they can't get anyone to pick their crops?

We want a job, but we want it with a company car, an expense account, retirement and full health. After all, we are all superstars, right?

I'm fortunate not to have been out of work for even a day since I left college in 1986. I do feel for those who've been struggling.

But I tell you, I'd be lowering myself into the field to pick beans if I had to. In fact, that's just what Rob Petrie did. He took a much lesser job where his dignity was threatened and comedy gold ensued.

And man, Mary Tyler Moore was smoking hot as a young woman, wasn't she?

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Don't worry about it.

Life is good.

We are living in the land of milk and honey.

Now just get off your ass and go to work.

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