Chucky Busted His Ass (NFL Preview)

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Of course my brother-in-law Chuck was in on the sausage stuffing...we threw a few off-color comments back and forth and then had a long drawn-out conversation about the fact that his betting about football is set to begin as he tangles with my already fired-up son, Sam.

"I called Outback and made a reservation for February under your name," Sam said to Chuck the other night. I laughed out loud as they say and spit my drink.

That kid has taunting down to a science. He already has the lines for next Sunday's games. And he has already started to go over them with me...for hours.

"Dad, would you take the Bills with the points against the Chiefs?"

"I wouldn't take the Bills if they were playing me, you and your mother," I said.

"Come on, you picked the Super Bowl winner in September last year...help me out here."

And so I did. Look it up. I took the Packers in last September 8th's blog. So let me see.

In the AFC East:

Patriots and the J-E-T-S will both qualify for the playoffs.
The Bills, you ask? 5 and 11. One more win then last year. Buffalo will erect a statue of Chan Gailey for the extra win.

AFC North:

Last year I was making fun of Rapistpervert. My Pittsburgh buddies told me to concentrate on Hines Ward because he's a great guy. He got arrested for alleged drunk driving. He's innocent, of course. We all make mistakes.

Regardless...the Stealers (not spelled wrong) and Ravens will both be in the playoffs. Two thug teams in a league filled with them.

Then I like the Texans and the Chargers in the South and West.

The AFC Champions will be...

...New England

(It will make up for the terrible disappointment of the Sucks Sox losing to the 27-time World Champion Yankees).

In the NFC...

Vick will bulldog his way to a title in the East but the Cowboys will also make the playoffs.

The Packers and get this...the Lions will make it from the North...thereby making the Bills the worst team since 1999...the Saints and who the hell knows in the west because they all stink...I will go with the Rams.

The NFC Champions will be...

The Saints.

So we will have a New England versus Saints Super Bowl.

Write it down...

Who will win it, you ask?

You know I'm right because I'm never wrong...

...about anything...

...just ask my wife and kids...

Sorry haters...

The Patriots are going to win it this year.

And they talk about a lack of parity in baseball.

And poor Chuck's ears are going to be bleeding from chatting with Sam...

...and Chuck is going to lose again too...

...and I'm going to the Outback!

Shrimp on the Barbie!

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