Can I Help You?

The fact that I'm writing this blog right now is a minor miracle.

I like technology, I really do. I enjoy making fun of all the people I love on Facebook.

By the way...if I see one more photo of a kid getting on a bus with a mother crying, "Oh, where did the time go, my little bastard is in the 3rd grade," I might throw up.

But anyway, tonight I was writing reports on my brand new, work-issued laptop. I was almost done. Last report...then sit back and look at the baseball scores!

But no!!!!!

Something flashed on my screen. There was an icon of my touch pad with a red arrow across the center of it.

Everything locked up.

"What the mudder@#$#%&^?"

I started tapping the keys. The mouse was locked. Different things started popping up on the screen including a telephone number that asked me if I needed help.

I dialed the number. The guy who answered the phone sounded like Apu from the Simpsons. I am not prejudiced. I gave it a try.

It took us ten minutes to get through my name. He couldn't understand me and I had no chance of understanding him.

"What's the problem?" he asked me, and I got that one.

"I can't understand you," I said.

The line went dead.

The mouse was still stuck.

I called back.

Apu's cousin answered the phone. He knew I had a call 'open' as he said. I tried to explain my problem as quickly as I could.

He hung up.

I can't even begin to tell you where I was mentally at this point. I nearly threw the laptop out the window. There were a lot of curse words flying. I shut the computer down and got a bottle of water.

I dialed the number for the third time.

An American answered the phone. He asked me why I had called three times without getting help.

"I can't understand the language they speak there," I said.

He laughed.

Four minutes later, the touch pad was unlocked.

I would've hugged that man had he been near me.

"Why the hell does it lock like that?" I asked.

"It's a safety feature," he explained.

"Why do they have people who can't speak English answering questions posed by English-speaking people?"

"No comment," my new friend said.

Did I say that I like technology?

Mudder#@$%^&!!!!

Comments

deafjeff said…
That's not technology, that's good old fashioned greed.

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