Thoughts of a Common Man

It all started with Egypt and the overthrow of the government after the citizens got so tired of being oppressed. Now we have Libya sort of wising up and threatening to overthrow Gadhafi and the oppressive regime there. Gadhafi had an interview today where he said that things were actually peaceful in his country. If it weren't for the Charlie Sheen interviews he would have won the award for dumbest statements made all day. But the biggest problems concerning Americans should be the unrest caused by crazy budgets established in Wisconsin and a bunch of other states, including New York. Unions are being threatened. Schools are being threatened. Gas prices are through the roof. And Two and a Half Men is going off the air. I give up on trying to find any sort of answers. I am sort of just sitting back watching it all unfold as the world seems to be spinning in a rather strange manner. Is there a way out of it? Should America help Libya? Does Egypt need money? Do we have enough money t...

After a long year of taunting one another back and forth the bet between Sam and his Uncle Chuck was finally settled when the Packers beat the Steelers for the Super Bowl...by one single point...to earn a free dinner, with one guest...at a nice restaurant. It's about way more than the dinner. First off, I am so grateful to Chuck for taking on such a task. Through twenty some years I made the exact same sort of bet with Jeff. Those who read Oh Brother! will realize that there was a lot at stake...dinner and bragging rights. Chuck was graceful enough to keep the tradition going with Sam...who is one of the all-time greatest trash talkers at the ripe old age of ten. Since the bet was settled Sam has tormented Chuck with nightly phone calls reminding him of the final game. There are a lot of belly laughs as they go back and forth. Feeling like he may have had enough, Chuck decided to settle up last night. Now Sam is not the biggest kid in the world. He is not really known to eat to pai...

Don't you just want to bash in the faces of those who, in the time of crisis, tell you things like, "God doesn't give you anymore than what you can handle?" I was thinking about that today as I did something that I told myself I would refrain from doing: reading and watching really sad things. There is just so much heartbreak that someone mentioning that God has your back when you feel like you are a step away from collapse, can lead to murderous thoughts. But I suppose that there is comfort in believing in the fact that you can rise above all that you face. It is certain that if you think obsessively of difficulties that you will be defeated, so there has to be that faith. Faith hurls obstacles aside and crushes fear. Faith makes life dynamic, vital and joyful. The answer to all struggles is certainly faith. Whole-hearted, all-out, enthusiastic faith. As I wrote that sentence I kind of shied away from it, knowing that it is not a Bible-thumping, God-fearing type of c...

So Lindsay Lohan has looked good in her last two appearances, huh? Unfortunately they were both court appearances, but you can't knock the outfits. I took a good look at the article but I doubt the judge was impressed. Then again, maybe he was. It seems like the judges do a little bit of a grandstand when there are high-profile celebrities involved. Where else would the judge promise jail time during the arraignment? Isn't that supposed to be a little proceeding where no one says anything? Everyone wants their ten minutes in the sun. Also, it seems like my rehab buddy, Charlie Sheen isn't doing real well handling his anger issues. News across the press today says that the show is over and will not be back. It seems as if Charlie went nuts on the creators of the show. That's what happens when you take away the crack, the booze and the hookers. And they expected sunshine? Of course, the show will go off prime time but will live on for years in syndication and no one will ...

Went to the hockey game last night and since it was work related I got to sit in one of the suites where they bring food in. I had sampled a bit of dinner before the game, but what the hell, a man has to eat, right? Besides rehab is allowing me to partake in more food since I don't have to worry about booze. So I was eating a few chicken wings when this woman explained to me that she doesn't eat any meat. I had a bunch of stray thoughts, none appropriate, flash across my brain, but I asked her how she found it satisfying to eat a meal. I love pasta, and eat nearly all vegetables, but no meat? Can't do it. In fact, I was so inspired by the discussion today I stopped by Elk Provision to stock up on some meat, and I was thrilled to pay the bill, knowing that the freezer will be full, and that I can have steak for dinner...tonight, tomorrow and the next six days if I want it. "We were running low," I said to Ed, a man who I know only because our family has been buying...

As we all know by now I am not too handy when it comes to fixing things, so it is certainly strange that I make my living in the construction industry. It was even more strange when I was a construction laborer as I worked my way through college. I had no idea what or how we were building anything. I made my living as a grunt, lifting things others didn't want to lift and carrying heavy weight around the site. I was good at it too. Couldn't do that anymore if I wanted to. Yet I remember a day long ago when I was working with a carpenter as he was nailing something to something. "Put some pressure on the wall," he said. "Okay, wall," I replied. "You are unemployed and you have three hungry kids who want to go to college." The guy laughed his ass off. I thought of that today as I tried to get my work done. Things have been unbelievably busy over the last few weeks, and it seems it is all I can do to get to the weekend so I can rest a little. In other...

So, my brother was out with a buddy of his last night and as I worked, he sat on his phone and ass-dialed me, allowing me to listen into his conversation a few times. The vibrating phone soon got on my nerves, so I began ignoring the calls. Safely tucked into my hotel room bed, I was thankful that the calls had finally stopped. I watched a bit of the basketball game and then picked up my phone again to see that I had missed yet another call from Jim. Thinking he had mistakenly dialed me again, I didn't call him back. Moments later, the phone came alive again with Jim's picture popping up. "What!" I yelled. "Cliff, this is Mike, Jim's friend. Thank God you answered." "What's going on?" I asked. My heart was in my throat already. "Your brother got into a fight. He was arrested and I have credit problems. I can't help him make bail." "Oh God, no!" I said. I was now at full attention, tossing the covers aside, thinking o...

I watched the Daytona 500 yesterday. Well, actually I watched laps 84 to 90 and then 196 to 200. Sam, who loves sports, and talking sports with his Uncle Chuck, made this call to Chuck during laps 84 to 90. Sam: Hey, Uncle Chuck, I'm watching NASCAR and I only have one question for you. How in the hell do you watch this crap? Chuck didn't call him back. I yelled at Sam for saying hell, but he made me laugh when he asked me how bored I was. Yet the end was worth it as a 20-year old kid won it. Four years after passing his driver's test. One year before he is allowed to legally drink. What had you done before the age of 20? I can't even remember it real well, but I know I hadn't accomplished much. Finished a few beer bongs, certainly. Much more than that? Nah. I decided to turn it on my kids. I went at Matt who will be turning 18 in a few months. "That kid just made millions winning the Dayton a 500," I said. "And you can't even empty the dishwasher...

So, over the course of the past three days I went to a couple of basketball games. Matt was playing in a game for playoff seating and he got a lot of time on the court, and played pretty well, hitting a couple of long shots and battling every second he was on the court. His team lost. Sam's team won big on Saturday and Sam also contributed, lofting a number of shots, and performing as a true Fuzzy, shooting whenever he was close to the ball or the hoop. Despite the lack of proficiency by the players on both teams, Sam's game was so much more enjoyable to watch. First off, Sam has a coach that preaches sportsmanship above all else. Standing on the sidelines the coach yelled out words of encouragement, kept all of the players involved, clapped for the other team, and laughed heartily when his own guy flopped to the floor and came up all smiles. Before the game, his own kid was pretending he was a cameraman filming the action and said, "I'm one of the idiot cameramen....

They say that as a society we are getting a lot bigger. Not only height-wise, but width-wise as well. I don't know the woman pictured above. My eyes were drawn to the photo, however, for a couple of reasons. First off, did she get an ass lift? Certainly looks as if that were the case. Secondly, I am always on the lookout for such photos because I play in a fantasy baseball league and my buddies are constantly super-imposing my head on all kinds of shots...I am usually looking for payback, running something like "Hank Gets a New Haircut." Being that the season hasn't started yet, I decided to run the shot here. Nearly named the blog "Hank Gets A New Haircut"...so I'm thinking of you, buddy! Yet the photo shows a disturbing trend, doesn't it? There are so many people struggling to get this weight thing under control. Visit your local amusement park this summer...it ain't pretty. And why is it? Lack of good-eating habits? Little or no exercise? Big-...

So, sitting in a hospital waiting room as my father-in-law, a really entertaining and very good man has heart surgery. Knowing that there are prayers to be said, and saying them in spurts as I listen to my wife and sister-in-laws talk, and talk, and talk, and talk...more and more talk. And having a few laughs as I sit back and wait for my moment to heckle. One wise-ass comment after another. Because that is why I am here. I'm certainly not here to listen to their banter about their hair and what color their toenails are. I swear to God there was a spine-tingling conversation about pedicures that had me dizzy by the time it reached a conclusion that sounded a lot like the beginning of the discussion. Come on, guys, how much time have you spent considering the length, and/or color of your toenails? For me, if they don't cut a hole in my sock, I honestly don't think about them. And hair? I must admit that ship has sailed, but the discussion on how I want what I have left to lo...

So that damn computer whipped a couple of brainy dorks at a game of Jeopardy and the whole world is up in arms. There are plenty of things that computer can't do. Like drink a case of beer. Eat a pound of pasta. Peal an egg. Watson supposedly hammered the competition. I didn't watch for it. I don't ever watch that show, actually. Isn't it on opposite Judge Judy? Regardless, I was sort of rooting for the computer anyway. We don't need any new stars and if one of the nerds would have beat the computer we would have been force fed another star. Speaking of stars. I see that Lance Armstrong is retiring again. Are the people that run the doping investigations getting too close? Is it time to try and bag the other Olson twin. I thought of running a photo of old Lance with the blog title of 'douche' but considered that tasteless. That's why I mentioned it anyway. And that is what you will never get from a computer. Real, truthful, opinion-based information that...

I see Cheetah Woods got in trouble for spitting on the green the other day. He was fined a lot of money and there have been a number of stories written about the horrible act. Now I'm no fan of Cheetah, but give me a break...spitting? With the golf foursomes that I've been in through the years, spitting was the least of our offenses. There really may not be a bodily fluid that didn't show up. Beer, tobacco spit, hell even a little urine all made appearances on our greens. Not to mention the unfixed ball marks and the huge divots we made with clubs that were thrown in frustration. Cheetah apologized profusely, took the nickels out of his pocket to pay the thousands of dollars fine, and will live to see another day. It thrills me to know that he and I have won the same amount of tourneys over the last 18 months or so. Another story that is starting to get to me is the one about the people who didn't get into the Super Bowl because the NFL screwed up the tickets. Now I...

I did the old LOL last night when I was watching Family Guy and Peter, after being shown what his life was like with too much alcohol, as well as what he would have been like completely sober, said: "When I'm drunk I'm a jerk but when I'm sober I'm a douche." Then I read an article from my rehab buddy Charlie Sheen who explained that being sober is boring, and though it's sad...I sort of get both quotes from the above-mentioned cartoon characters. Pitchers and catchers reported yesterday. The Yankees had five catchers and three pitchers report. The winds were howling at 55 mph here yesterday. It's always dark. Everyone is falling down on the ice. My kids believe in the 'it'll melt' idea of snow shoveling and Valentine's Day is behind us. There's a chance it can get boring. And I am not anti-drinker enough to pretend that a shot of Jameson's wouldn't warm me, but as sad as it seems to be, Charlie is not going to stay sober fo...

Impossible for me...since 1987 to go through Valentine's Day without thinking of Bruce's take on it. Off the Tunnel of Love Album. Valentine's Day Driving a big lazy car, rushing up the highway in the dark I got one hand steady on the wheel and one hand's tremblin over my heart It's pounding, baby, like it's going to bust right on through And it ain't gonna' stop until I'm alone again with you. A friend of mine became a father last night when we spoke, in his voice, I could hear the light of the skies and the rivers, the timberwolf in the pines and that great jukebox out on route 39 They say he travels fastest, he who travels alone But tonight I miss my girl, mister, tonight I miss my home. Is it the sound of the leaves left blown by the wayside that's got me out here on this spooky old highway tonight Is it the cry of the river with the moonlight shining through that ain't what scares me baby, what scares me is losing you. They say if you di...

One of the toughest things about getting older is the fact that I have perfected the inability to get a good night's sleep. Up by five this morning, but I had my mind on getting into a decent frame of mind for the day and the upcoming busy week. I read a little before getting out of bed. Got the sauce on. Took Melky for her ride. Read the paper from cover to cover and chugged a cup of coffee. I'm not one of the people that can spend an hour sipping coffee. Too much to do. Headed to church, alone. That's one of the prices that must be paid when you are up early...lots of alone time. In church they spoke of choices. Making the right choice and minimizing the chaos. Good thought. On the way to the YMCA I listened to Bruce on E-Street Radio. I stopped at Tim Horton's for another small coffee and the girl gave me change for a twenty when I had given her a ten. I had a choice to make. I gave her the money back. A Bruce song caught my ear: My soul went walking but I stayed her...

I keep thinking about that congressman, Chris Lee, and the fact that he posed on the Internet as he tried to publicly cheat on his wife. I'm also caught up, a bit, in thinking about his wife and how he thinks he's going to wiggle out of such a thing. The news reports this morning say that his wife is standing by him, and that they are together in Florida...out of the Buffalo cold...trying to work things out. Perhaps that's the answer. Maybe I can get a trip to Florida out of the Buffalo cold to talk about the state of my marriage after I appear topless on a website. But I don't imagine that the man is having much of a vacation. And I know that if he and his wife switched places with Kathy and me, it would always come back to one fundamental question: "You took your shirt off?" Kathy might ask. "What in the hell were you trying to bait with such a pose?" And I won't have much of an answer for her. Seriously, how do you talk your way out of being b...

A couple of months ago 60 Minutes did a piece about a group of people who are able to recall every day of their lives, remembering what they ate, what they were wearing, and how they felt...on any given day...of their life! Can you imagine having such an ability? Marilu Henner the hot red head from Taxi was in the group and I heard an interview with her on Howard shortly after the 60 Minutes. Her recall was fascinating. Now I'm not saying I have such an ability, but I definitely am able to recall conversations and days, and since I write every freaking thing down, I am able to keep track of some pretty mundane crap. For one reason or another a lot of the memories float back with no effort at all and this morning, at 4:15, I thought about a day when I was a senior in college and I sat up with my father even though I had to get up early the next morning for a return trip to my "studies" at Gannon in Erie. "Have a glass of wine with me," my father said. In those da...

You know, its weird. You'd think every person would be able to get up out of bed each day and be able to pull it off. Just don't do something stupid today. Seems simple enough, right? Like if you're pregnant, you won't drop a baby in a toilet and just try to leave the restroom without figuring out something. Like if you are a New York State Congressman with a wife and a kid, you won't place a shirtless ad on Craigslist in an attempt to hook up with a new woman. Like if you are a Queens baseball coach of young adults, you won't try to molest them. Like if you are a Hollywood movie star you won't walk out of a store with a $2,500 necklace that you didn't pay for. Like if you're a professional quarterback you don't corner a 18 year old girl, or drown a couple of the family pets. Like if you own and operate a Muslim television station you won't lop off your wife's melon because she yells at you. These people obviously didn't corner the ma...

Hi Cliff, I just read the write up of your book in both the Hamburg Sun and Buffalo News online and would love to know where to get a copy of your book. I too grew up in North Collins and knew both Jeff and your sister Carrie in high school. Jeff's senior year was my freshman year and from beginning to end, he teased me mercilessly but always in that way that he had that you knew he was just trying to make me laugh. When yearbooks came out later that year, I (very shyly) asked him to sign mine. Expecting something smart and slightly sarcastic when he gave me my book back, instead he explained that he was only trying to entertain me and make me laugh the whole year round and that he wished nothing but the best for my future. If that had been written by ANYONE else, I would have just said, "yeah, right!" But coming from Jeff, I believed him and knew that he was sincere. I never forgot that. When I heard about what happened, I looked again at what he wrote and even though I ...

http://www.buffalonews.com/life/article334222.ece The feeling this morning was one of dismay with an eye on trying to continue to pass the message of Jeff's life along to a world of people who really need to know him. I knew the article would be out this morning. Over the last few weeks I talked all things Jeff with the News reporter, Charity Vogel, and with a great assist from my buddy Pops, we were able to give Charity a nice overview. The book was also read quickly, by the reporter, and she captured the ideas nicely. But my heart hurt this morning. I didn't want to read about it. I wished it never had to be written. That's the pain of trying to promote this book. Yet I am not trying to understand life. I am working to enjoy it. Join me, won't you? To order a signed copy of the book: send your address to cliffordfc@roadrunner.com. Please send Charity a note of thanks for carrying the story forward. cvogel@buffnews.com

Man, oh man. Why does A-Rod have to be caught doing such things? Can't he just hide out until it's his turn to bat? Yesterday at the Super Bowl the camera caught A-Rod being fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz as he watched the game. In and of itself it isn't so bad, but A-Rod just never catches a break. He looked like someone who was less than manly in the pose. Thurman Munson would've never let that go. Now I'm not saying that what he did was wrong. It certainly was an intimate moment with his movie star girlfriend - who is no Kathy Fazzolari, by the way - but it just doesn't look right. I have a buddy who once kissed his girlfriend's hand as me an a couple of his other buddies looked on. We have never let him forget that moment of weakness and I'm sure he just laughed out loud when reading this. Guys just don't forgive other guys when there is a public display of affection. Perhaps the rest of the Yankees don't care, but there was A-Rod...big, bad, ho...

I suppose I could start out by saying I picked the Super Bowl winner before the season started. Or that Pittsburgh represented themselves wonderfully again in the big game, and that the game was wildly entertaining throughout. Who really believed that Green Bay would hold them off? I didn't think it was going to happen. I could talk about Christina singing the National Anthem like Leslie Nielson in Naked Gun: "And the rockets were there. There were bombs everywhere." But it all has to start with the halftime show. For the first time in a few years, my kids were fired up. Bruce and the Who didn't do it for them. "How old are they?" they kept asking. So I sat quietly and waited to be entertained...until it was over. That group of whatever you call them, certainly not musicians, were horrific. Lyrically, talent-wise, as performers. When the main song has such awe-inspiring, thought-provoking lyrics such as: I got a feeling that tonights going to be a good night...

On the night before the Super Bowl between the Bears and the Patriots I was at a frat party making so much noise about how the Bears would win by forty points that a guy stood up and shouted me down. "I'll bet you a hundred bucks they don't beat them by forty." Being a brash, drunk college student I took the bet. Waking up the next morning my roommates were all over me, asking me where in the world I would possibly get $100 to pay off the bet. The Bears won 45-3. On the night when the Bills made the Super Bowl for the first time, I remember the shiver that went up and down my spine when the team was announced and ran onto the field in Tampa. For the next two weeks after that game, I couldn't think straight. Giants 20 Bills 19...they should have won. 20 years later and it still bugs me. Don't even ask me about the next three losses. I remember the 49ers coming down the field trailing the Bengals with less than 2 minutes in the game. I was living alone in West H...

Sarah Palin is not Ronald Reagan. Can someone please tell her that? Also, Ronald Reagan was not a cartoon character. He did not speak of my values. Remember when he slept through his second term? Remember when he lied about the Arms Deal or claimed he didn't know? Remember when his Reaganomics crippled the country for twenty freaking years? Just saying... I tried Pittsburgh. I really did. I love that city. I kind of like the Steelers and the way they conduct their business. But I can't do it. Having read the police report and after listening to Ben talk all week. I am a Packer-Backer this weekend. Six is enough anyway, but I get that rubbing it in the other people's faces mentality. I'm a Yankee fan! Pack 27 Steelers 24. I have already had enough of February. Snow, cold, American Idol, football over, a month and a half away from baseball, Egypt, more snow, blizzards, kids sick, sore knee, 28 short freaking days. Horrible month. And it will be followed by another shit mo...

The unrest in Egypt has been tough to watch, hasn't it? As an American whenever I hear about such chaos, I wonder why things can't be somehow worked out before an entire nation of people rises up. The system that we are governed under doesn't lend itself to such unrest, or does it? I think it was Jefferson who said, during the time of writing the constitution, that a revolution should take place every twenty years or so in order to keep a balance. Wouldn't that be fun? We can bet on it like the Super Bowl. Yet we are still working off that document, and while there certainly are problems, there doesn't seem to be the type of violence from within...even though we shoot each other for sport here...then there is in other countries. Yet it is strange how we think of those in other parts of the world. As if none of it really matters, you know? The nightly news shows you tape of mad, screaming people hurling rocks at the capitol building in a country such as Egypt and we ...

Drift back in time with me until 1996, won't you? It was a year before I got married. So there weren't any children kicking around yet. I had just purchased my first house. I was playing softball with my friends, drinking as much beer as I could get my hands on. I had just rescued my dog Max from the SPCA, and I had a girl hanging around with me, all the time, for some reason, acting as if I were a viable adult. My third book was released that year. And all I ever thought about was the New York Yankees. I needed a World Series title...bad. It had been 18 years since they last won. As luck might have it, they had a great team. A young guy on that team, Andy Pettite was just starting out. He was pitching game 5 of the World Series against John Smoltz. The series was tied at 2. The game was 1-0 Yankees late in the game. The beer was flowing. My brothers were watching with me. Kathy was there. Max was at my feet. Pettite pitched into the 9th. Two nights later, the Yankees won the s...

Years and years ago my mother and father were in a fierce discussion about something at the dinner table. Tensions were high and we were all relieved when my mother, searching for a perfect comeback told my father: "You'd bitch if you were hit by a new car." Of course that is a variation of the 'hung with a new rope' cliche, but my mother was looking for more. It didn't get the reaction she was looking for: my father laughed uproariously. We all laughed. And for years, whenever someone complained the idea that they'd bitch if hit by a new car has entered my warped mind. Today it seems that everyone I ran into would bitch if they were hit by a new car. We didn't get 16 inches of snow in hot and dusty Buffalo today. In fact, the storm was a whimpering little dusting when you get right down to it. It rained and the roads were greasy and then a few inches of snow fell. Hell, that's Mid-May around here. Yet people wanted to complain. The same people tha...

So the joker that cut off his wife's head is explaining that God gave him the courage to perform the deed. Really? That was God's solution? There really is a strange dynamic at work there. When things go tragically wrong, there are a lot of people who point to the imaginary man in their head to explain their behavior. Now I'm not being atheistic here. I am not saying that there aren't moments when God's light shines through in the children's eyes, in the wife's smile, when the dog leaps and runs through the snow. I'm not saying that God isn't there when spring arrives and the beauty of nature takes hold as the complex idea of just being alive is fully appreciated. I've just never had God whisper in my ear, "Cut off her f*&$%ng head!" In fact, unlike George Bush, he has never once consulted me in a voice that sounds like Morgan Freeman in that movie with Jim Carrey. The voice of God that I've heard has come in the form of things ...

How can I write about anything today other than the coming snowstorm? For sure it is all that anyone is talking about here in Buffalo. The snow will arrive around ten, they say. We are in for about 16 inches by morning. The morning drive will be so messed up that they have already issued a hazard warning and the kids school already told them to stay home. I'm sort of all for it. I have a lot of paperwork to do to get ready for the coming weeks, so why the hell not? Tomorrow is pasta day...I can spend some time getting that ready. Of course, it always brings back memories of 1977 and the blizzard. We got a week off of school then, and we were stuck in the house for so long that I'm sure Mom and Dad were ready to jump out the window into the ten feet high snowdrifts. My boys have enough to keep them entertained. The X-Box will be burning all day tomorrow. If the snow is real bad in the morning no one will be able to get out, so we won't have to worry about anyone on the roads...