Too Good Not to Share

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The above photo ran with the caption: CLIFF AT WALMART. It was captured by a guy who used to be my friend who posted it to our fantasy baseball league. I glanced at it last night and laughed.

Kathy stepped up behind me, looked at the photo and said, "It does look like you from the back. You sure that isn't you?"

God, my wife is great. Anyway, to clear the record:

Number One - I have a full head of hair. At least I think I do until I see myself in a mirror somewhere. Regardless, I'm going with the story that my hair is hanging in there.No way do I have such a bald spot.

Number 2 - I don't go to WalMart. Not once in awhile, not once a year - never - I am a Mom & Pop type shopper and would much rather pay more from cool, real people rather than cold, corporate a-holes.

Number 3 - My ass isn't that big. I think of the Mel Brooks comedy Spaceballs when the bottom half of his body is spun around, he looks down, and yells at his friends, "Why didn't you tell me my ass was this big?" Can't see it - feels small enough to me.

Number 4 - I don't eat a lot of ice cream - seems the guy was shopping for ice cream - not me. Wouldn't grab my thong and head out for a half-gallon - if this were at the liquor store, in front of the goose supply, maybe...

Number 5 - Those are new tennis shoes on his feet, and expensive ones at that. I still wear ratty shoes, as everyone knows, and they are filthy to boot.

Number 6 - I don't wear a thong. Yes, this may be the shocker of them all, but I can't be sure how anyone can wear a thong. Doesn't that string get caught in your ass crack? How could I possibly do anything at all if I have to keep picking string out of my butt? Besides, my string wouldn't look so great after a couple of days when it has mustard stains on it.

Number 7 - Now I get to plot my revenge - I know the sonovabitch who posted this. I understand that he got the laugh that he was looking for and I'm scouring the 'Net for photos of a man with a huge head, a little extra in the middle, and his own tragic loss of hair. I'm coming for you, Tater.

Comments

Gag said…
lmao. I was on the phone with a customer and nearly burst when i opened the blog. Luv the floss.
13 May, 2010
pcorwin said…
Hey Buddy - Thanks for the good laugh. It made my day.
13 May, 2010
Gayle Chesshum said…
Kathy stepped up behind me, looked at the photo and said, "It does look like you from the back. You sure that isn't you?" view this
01 April, 2021
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