Thoughts of a Common Man

Some of my New Year's Resolutions: --- Go Yanks - The Yanks signed three free agents - I smell title #27 in '09. --- Gobama - We have a democratic controlled government - I have my fingers crossed that Obama's platform of change works. If not - vote the bastards out next time. President Palin - No! Please God! --- Enlightenment - Time to stay in control - once more resolution number one is to relax a little and find some patience somewhere. Yet I'm thinking - when I relax, I lose my edge, and when I lose my edge I'm fairly ineffective. Patience versus a potential heart attack - there has to be middle ground. --- Stephen King Here I Come - Write even more! Always a grand resolution, but I had three books out this year and a highly therapeutic blog - don't know if I can write any more - honestly. --- Lose weight! F---k it! I love stuffed peppers and pasta and steak, and ribs, and egg sandwiches, and subs - God I love subs. Perhaps I'll just shoot for say a...

The end of the year lends itself into taking stock of all that has happened, and by all accounts, 2008 has been one hell of a confusing ride. From the election on through Sarah Palin (she's a grandma now - congrats) to Obama bowling a 37 (I can beat that by thirty), through the economic mess, and my new-found fascination with 48 Hours Mystery - I'm left wondering where everything has gone wrong. The first story I read today was about the Santa Claus killer who incinerated 9 of his relatives. My second story was about the Florida woman who went overboard on a cruise as her husband waited 8 hours to report it and supposedly went gambling to expunge his grief. Nancy Grace will have a field day with that one. And it occurred to me that it appears that the way out of a crap situation is to kill your way out. The crime stats say that violent crimes are down, but man, there seems to be a ton of sensationalistic murders. There are wars raging all the world over, and there's a sense...

There are so many people talking about losing their jobs and potentially not having anywhere to turn that it was a real pleasure to get up and go to work today. Besides, my ears are raw from listening to the kids talk non-stop for quite a few days in a row - not that I'd ever complain about that. I'm sure it was weird for the kids to see me around and completely attentive for the past week or so. We had a Wii shuffleboard tournament that nearly brought the house down yesterday and I learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I can't hang with any of them in XBox hockey. I was soundly smoked by anyone who wanted to play me. It's hell getting old. We're still staring straight into the face of New Year's Celebrations, but for all intents and purposes it feels like its back to business as usual. What did I miss while I was away? The crazed man in the Santa suit that killed his entire family and burned down the house and shot himself to death. Just horrifying - and eq...

All righty then... handled the flood in the basement with a sense of humor and compete determination. Went to bed tired and sore, but it was a good tired, you know? Woke early with a renewed resolve. I Should have stayed in bed. For those of you who don't understand my mechanical incompetence, pay attention here. I got the dogs outside easily enough, but coming back up the stairs noticed that the light was flickering in the hallway. Being proactive, I decided to change the light bulb and score points for my diligence. How many writers does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than one. I dropped the light cover, shattering it on the steps below, but I did change the bulb, and the wet-dry vac was handy so I plugged it in and started cleaning the steps before the kids came down in bare feet. Plugging in the vacuum with the humidifier and the heater working blew a fuse. No idea how to fix that, so I got down on my hands and knees to clean up the glass. Kathy was in another p...

...God will provide an answer. Woke up this morning feeling refreshed after a long day of doing pretty much nothing. As I showered (there's an image for you) I thought of how I'd like to spend my day. I had dreamed of playing basketball with some friends and my mind centered on that as I convinced myself that I'd find some exercise, somehow today. We weren't scheduled to sign up for the YMCA for a couple of weeks, so I was on my own. As I dressed I thought about jogging around the block - it was raining hard - so that was out. I thought about the treadmill in our basement buried beneath God knows what in our "storage" room. That was also most likely out. Yet suddenly, I heard my wife call out. "We have a flood," she yelled. "We have a flood" might be the four worst words in the language. "How bad?" I asked. "Pretty bad," she calmly replied. So, ten minutes into the day, I was shoveling water out the front door. The pump ...

One woman in the grocery store was complaining about the length of the Christmas season - "I can't wait 'till it's over," she moaned. Well it feels a bit like it's over today. My head was real cloudy when I woke up this morning - perhaps from the wild celebration at my out-laws last night, that concluded with me and the boys singing Badlands on the Karaoke machine (I always wanted to be a rock and roller - judging by the crowd reaction and the couple of photos I saw - Bruce might be better at me in his job - then again, he never could have eaten and drank what I put away). "You want to take the kids bowling?" one of my buddies asked. "Uh, no freaking way," may have been the not so polite way of answering him - yet I was done. I didn't even want to walk to the mailbox to retrieve the mail today. The afternoon nap was longer than two hours. Dinner will be a leftover party. Tonight's entertainment will be whatever doesn't offend ...

How fortunate am I to be able to watch my children open up their presents each year and exclaim that whatever gift they got is exactly what they had their heart set on? For me,there is plenty to be thankful for, and I could handle that without even opening one present. I'm thankful that my wife can do the wrapping. I'm thankful that I still have a job to go to so that we can make the kids smile. I'm real happy that I'm a Yankee fan and that this year we got three presents instead of the usual two. All of it aside, I couldn't help but think of homes where the celebration isn't so pronounced. We spent Christmas Eve with my parents and brother and sisters, and by the end of the night, my face hurt from laughing. How fortunate am I to have my parents around to share my children with? Today we're going to the out-laws, as my Uncle Jim calls them, and there will be more of a celebration and a lot more laughs. While it was a year of challenges, it was also a year o...

Ah, anticipation. Christmas Eve always brings that feeling along with it - we're almost to the big day, Family, love, the perfect moment, the presents, the food, the beer. I slept lousy last night and I believe that some of it has to do with waiting for the moment to finally arrive. There was a Christmas long ago when my sister and I decided we could no longer wait -we woke up in the middle of the night to see if Santa showed - it was never fully guaranteed when we were kids, and not because my parents couldn't afford it, but because our behavior was borderline psychotic. Anyway, Corinne and I burst on the scene and rather than being loud, we simply played with our toys - I even broke one - before my mother discovered us. Once the other kids got up Corinne and I were made to sit and wait for an hour while they played - there was certainly anticipation in that hour! Now I consider the anticipation in my kids - they're ready, they're wishing it was Thursday morning, but t...

Whenever I think of my father's birthday, I consider a few stories where he laughed hard at our relationship. I had a college buddy who got sick of hearing people from other parts of the country make fun of him for calling the soft drink, Pop, as we do here in Buffalo. "I call my father, pop," one of his critics said. "Well, I call my father, Soda," Rosie answered. I told my father that story about twenty years ago, and he reminded me of it the other day. Then there was the trip home from Connecticut about twenty winters ago. It was just me and Soda and the wind was whipping the snow all around I-90. The car he was driving, my old black Capri - which he affectionately called the crappy - was dying every few minutes. We were in some real trouble as we were hundreds of miles from home. Now those of you who know me well understand that I have no mechanical aptitude whatsoever - I'm lucky if I know where the windshield washer fluid goes if I'm fortunate enou...

I'm trying to get into the Christmas Spirit here, but seven feet of freaking snow has put a damper on things. Bing Crosby and his cute little White Christmas song - I'd like to kick his ass. Yet what really frosted me this morning was the news on some of the companies involved in the bailout and the bonuses they still distributed to their top executives. The headline screamed: Banks involved in the bailout awarded their top employees $1.6billion in bonuses. Now I have always had a soft spot in my heart for people who can't afford to live or buy a house. A lot of people explain that they should just get off their asses and go to work. Agreed - but these people? These people accepting bonus money from the taxpayers when they know they bungled the whole mess? Bob Dylan once sang - "Steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you a king." Let's break it down a bit - perhaps I'm misunderstanding how hard these guys really work: The Chai...

I see that Burger King has come up with a cologne that smells like meat. I've been carrying that scent around for quite some time. Actually, it seems strange to me - what size girl is one trying to catch with a meat-smelling cologne? Gives a whole new meaning to smelling delicious, I suppose. Actually I had a close friend ask me if I carry garlic around in my pocket to ward off vampires - being of Italian descent that was sort of a compliment - can't get enough garlic. I can't see outside my window right now - another Buffalo Sunday - too bad the Bills weren't home this week - this is the kind of weather that enhances our National reputation. The Bills had a lovely season, by the way, can't wait for Ralph to start asking for a handout. The kids are not quite as wound up about Christmas and I believe it is the lost touch with Santa thing that is holding them back. Matt and Jake have long since figured it all out and I'm not sure that Sam ever fully bought the sto...

I loved that movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles - some of it was filmed in Gowanda, New York - about ten miles from where I grew up. Much of the movie was based on the fact that weather played a part in Steve Martin and John Candy not being able to make it home for the holidays. The greatest scene in that movie is when Steve Martin lectures Candy about telling stories that have a point - "It keeps people interested," is one of the funniest lines ever - I use it all the time. Anyway, I played the John Candy part yesterday. I was in Syracuse as the storm rolled across the East coast - it's just 140 miles away and I usually make the journey in two hours and six minutes - door-to-door. I didn't exactly beat my record yesterday. I left the 'Cuse at 11:15 AM just as the snow began - and I drove straight into the teeth of the damn thing. I've never been a good snow driver, and it got worse a couple of years ago when I crossed the Thruway and was struck by a little...

I had to drive a long ways yesterday to get to where I was needed for my job. Of course, driving leads to thinking, thinking leads to pain, pain leads to depression and there were just so many what-if's in my head. What-if I didn't do my job correctly on any given day. Who WGAF? My client, I suppose, and then my boss when my client griped, then my wife when things fell apart. So, I did my job. Yet I also did it because I care about putting forth a solid effort each and every day. I started thinking about the people who don't go above and beyond each day. I thought about the people at the hospital - there was a huge difference in the nurse's abilities to care for my brother. There was a nurse who worked so hard that she could have pulled off wearing a sign on her back that said best nurse ever. Then there were others who couldn't be bothered to even stop by every hour or so. Those are the one's who were targets of my anger as I drove. We all have jobs to do in ev...

I had to drive a long ways yesterday to get to where I was needed for my job. Of course, driving leads to thinking, thinking leads to pain, pain leads to depression and there were just so many what-if's in my head. What-if I didn't do my job correctly on any given day. Who WGAF? My client, I suppose, and then my boss when my client griped, then my wife when things fell apart. So, I did my job. Yet I also did it because I care about putting forth a solid effort each and every day. I started thinking about the people who don't go above and beyond each day. I thought about the people at the hospital - there was a huge difference in the nurse's abilities to care for my brother. There was a nurse who worked so hard that she could have pulled off wearing a sign on her back that said best nurse ever. Then there were others who couldn't be bothered to even stop by every hour or so. Those are the one's who were targets of my anger as I drove. We all have jobs to do in ev...

On the road, a little tired, and certainly looking beat-up, I had dinner at Denny's. I was served by a young, perky girl, probably no more than twenty-five. She was extremely cooperative and shied away when I just wanted to read the sports section. The problem came at the end of the meal when very politely she asked me if I was eligible for the senior citizen's discount. "Come on," I said. "I have to ask if it looks close," she said. Her face was turning three different shades of red. Close? Close? I'm 16 years away! I'm only 23 years away from being old enough to drink. "I'm sorry," the girl said. "It's all right," I said. "I can't rewrite history." Speaking of rewriting history, what is up with George W? Last week I defended him against the guy who tossed his shoes at him, but today, I'm kind of thinking of lobbing my Nike's in his direction. In one speech he exclaimed what a great idea that Iraq ha...

Every night I pass by the television as Kathy keeps an eye on the case of the missing Florida girl, Caylee. It's a horribly sad story that actually turns my stomach when I consider the circumstances. Yesterday they finally placed the blame on the man who murdered and decapitated Adam Walsh in 1981. His father, who started America's Most Wanted , and really spearheaded a lot of efforts to find missing children, was shown in all the newspapers and on television. He said that he just wanted to know what kind of man could murder or decapitate a child. Those of us who live in the real world couldn't possibly understand how such a mind works. Did that mother really kill Caylee? What were Adam Walsh's last moments like? I suppose that it is too close to Christmas to consider such a tragic subject, but day after day, it's on Nancy Grace. Just for curiosity sake, stop at your local rest stop and look at the faces of the missing persons. There are thousands and thousands of k...

There are reports out there that the Yankees might be interested in Manny Ramirez. Please, God, let it be just a rumor. How would I possibly explain rooting for him? After all of these years of bashing him for being the dullest knife in the drawer, how could I possibly love him if he donned the pinstrips? For all intents and purposes Manny is not a great leader, teammate, or role model. When he was with the Red Sox I rooted for him to be the world's biggest distraction. When he was traded to the Dodgers, I hoped that I would never see him play against the Yankees again. Now they are talking about having him play for them? Baseball, in the grand scheme of things is not very important, but I have always enjoyed watching the Yankees. Over the last 5 years or so my excitement for the games has been tempered by the fact that I didn't really love the players. I miss Bernie, I miss O'Neill and Cone, and Tino. When the boys were winning it all they were easy to love. When I didn...

I've always enjoyed a good working relationship with my publisher - SterlingHouse out of Pittsburgh, Pa. Recently we've been speaking about not writing so much and perhaps promoting the books a little more. Well, we entered Nobody's Home in the New England Book Festival in the fiction category, and believe it or not, in a very competitive field - it received an honorable mention as one of the best entries. I'm not sure how to digest the information, but of course, the ever-encouraging staff at SterlingHouse has congratulated me on the honor. And it truly never occurred to me that I would have a chance to be honored for something that I wrote. So, maybe, I should feel proud? Nobody's Home is a story based on a family that was ripped apart by the behavior of the unstable leader. It was a story that I needed to write, to gain an understanding of survival, love, and faith. I still live about twenty miles where the story unfolded and one of the unbelievable aspects of t...

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, We went to the kids Christmas play at school - a mob scene of parents and kids singing songs - (at least Kathy wasn't singing along)and it thrilled me to no end to see the boys up there. I really enjoy seeing them out of the home element - they are respectful, courteous and friendly. Besides hearing Sam sing This Little Light is especially thrilling because all we want of our children is to give them a chance to shine their light on the world. By the way, Bruce sings This Little Light with the Seeger Sessions Band - about blew Sam's mind when he heard it. Spent last evening at the Armageddon Wrestling matches: Uncle Chuck entertained the boys with me as the fireworks went off, the diva's wrestled in skimpy costumes, and the boys watched John Cena and Jeff Hardy win championships. What a business that is! 20,000 people jammed the place and most tickets ran between $50 and $150 - tough economic times, indeed. Now I...

My favorite new philosopher Will Smith explained that we should begin our day by asking ourselves - "Who's better off because I woke up today." I like the sentiment because it gets me out of the what can I do for myself frame of mind and forces me to think of those around me. For starters, the dogs are better off, for sure. They are waiting patiently now for their morning Cheerios and a trip to the backyard. (My God what that backyard must look like now - I'm thinking at least 3 hours of picking up crap). The boys - we're going to the wrestling matches tonight with Uncle Chuck - I am anticipating a good 12-hour recap on who's going to be there and who will win the death matches. This discussion, of course, will be followed by 5 hours of wrestling with fireworks, threats, scantily-clad women in the ring (I didn't say it was all bad), and a midnight finish with work coming tomorrow. Kathy? Of course- her day is always enriched when I get up and out of bed. Y...

From Dire Straits - I used to like to go to work, but they shut it down. I have a right to go to work, but there's no work here to be found. That line has been buzzing around my head for the last few days - it's a quote in a great song from a great group, and it makes me think about the thousands and thousands of people who are now left out in the cold, wondering how life is going to change for them. I was let go from just one job in all of my days, but I'll never forget how it made me feel. It happened on December 23rd in 1988, and I can remember the hollow feeling that Christmas brought that year. I had just spent every penny I had on Christmas gifts, and the credit card statement was still on the way. I felt wronged, left behind, unsure about my ability to get things right, a little worried, and completely without an identity. Which is how being 'let go' is designed to make you feel. No matter how many times people express that one door closing is an opportunity...

The Jay Thomas Show provided me with a little more insight into a sickness that is plaguing married couples all across the land. It's a virtual computer game called Second Life in which participants enter a world where they establish a second existence, including being virtually married to a game partner, having virtual sex, planning a virtual family, and raising virtual kids. Are you freaking kidding me? This guy called in because his wife was spending hour after hour in this virtual world. She was receiving actual text messages, and phone calls from her virtual husband that wished her luck with her daily grind, and advice on her real life. How in the world can you keep a virtual marriage going when you're screwing up the one in your real life? How can you keep a virtual spouse happy at the same time that you are trying to keep a real spouse interested? It's tough enough to raise children in the real world - and now you're going to add in the worry of taking care of ad...

Can you believe this Illinois Governor? Bagadonuts or whatever the hell his name is- what kind of arrogant moron is he? And did anyone ever tell him that his hairpiece looks ridiculous? They should jail him just for coming out of the house with that on his head. Heard today that CC Sabathia's new Yankee contract is worth the median American income for every inning he pitches! Every single inning represents him passing the average income of an American. Ah, misplaced priorities - you've got to love it. At least the Yankees have a lefty ace - miss the playoffs, my ass! Yet this blog is about the entitlement and the people who seem to make so much money in such a short period of time that they believe they are above the law, above the rest of society, and above the rules of being a decent human being. Having money and power does not entitle you to act like an ass, does it? Blagojevich wasn't even trying to be discreet. Flying into Congress to beg for money isn't exactly di...

The buzz around the house the last couple of days is that we are moving to Chicago. Of course it is dictated by the steel plant closing down in Buffalo and my wife's opportunity to relocate under the shutdown plan. I find the overall dynamic to be interesting. The kids are ready to go, fired up about a possible adventure in a land unknown. They see Chicago as a sort of graceland with endless possibilities of excitement and fun. They are already looking at the schedules of the Bears, the Bulls, the Cubs, and the White Sox. Little do they know that we live about a mile from Ralph Wilson Stadium and that I wouldn't go to a Bills game unless someone paid me my hourly wage. My wife, of course, is fueling the debate, realizing that it is fun to dream, and responsible to keep all options open - she has been seriously scanning the Internet for available housing. "There's a big house with a nice backyard for the dogs, and a basketball court," Sam told me excitedly. Uh, we ...

One company after another seems to be pulling the plug right now. Hell, the NFL laid off some of their employees at the league offices. Airlines, automotive plants, banks, credit unions, small companies, large companies - everyone is ready to close the door on their employees, on their business, and on any future business. The national unemployment figures are at their highest since the Great Depression. My grandparents lived through the Great Depression - my grandfather told the story of painting outhouses to put food on the table. I can't paint and as far as I know, there aren't any more outhouses in need of painting. Are some of the people in power over-reacting? Will the economy get worse before it gets better? Don't these bail-outs with all the money attached help at all? My wife's place of work is pulling the plug, and after 15 years, she will be let go along with hundreds of others. It was a job she worked hard at, and did real well, and despite the fact that she...

Each and every morning is the same. Some might even say that I have a touch of Sheldon, of The Big Bang Theory in me. I get out of bed, let the dogs out, get the kid's lunches ready - for tomorrow! - pour a cup of coffee, make fun of Matt regarding the most-recent Bills or Sabres loss, and head off into Sam's room. He always pretends that he's still asleep, which allows me to pick on him about his bed-time being too late - then he snaps up and tells me he was just faking it. And that's when I do it - I open his window shade to look outside. Seems as if Sam has a routine of his own - he walks around the house every evening and makes sure that the shades are closed on every window - so the robbers can't look in. "Oh my God, look at the snow!" I yell. "There can't be any school today." Yet Sam is beyond being fooled by this - I'd already tricked him before - including declaring a snowstorm in May that made him jump out of bed. Not today. He ...

With great anticipation the boys and I watched the new Simpson's episode - mind you it was coming immediately following the Bills latest stinko effort in Toronto. The two items are linked as you shall see. In the episode of the Simpson's billionaire Monty Burns buys a basketball team and wipes out a conservatory to do so - his great line is "Pave this place as god intended." The team bombs and bees take over the joint, but not before Homer says - "We need a billionaire to hold up our town for public funds so a bunch of millionaires can play." The Bills were playing in Toronto because the millions they made here off the sweat of the people in Buffalo is no longer enough. It doesn't matter that all of the games have been sold out since about 1990. It doesn't matter that it's $35 to park and $8 a beer. The billionaire owner is fed-up with the poor economic state of the city - and this 90-year-old maniac spent $10,000 for a team now worth $800 millio...

There was a beautiful baby girl in the pew in front of us. She was dressed all in pink, and was smiling wide in the arms of her mother, father and grandmother. I was sitting three kids away from Kathy, but I could almost hear what she needed to say about the baby. "Isn't that baby cute? Don't you want another one?" Well, I certainly can appreciate a cute baby, but the answer to question number two is a resounding NO! Another baby? I'm 44 - I'm tired. I've been tired since the mid-80's. It's funny, but a mother can look at someone elses baby and get all emotional about the potential of the child, how the top of its head smells, and how cool it would be to take care of it, nurse it, and watch it grow. A father looks at the baby, and then gazes at the poor bastard husband who more than likely got crap on his hand the last time he attempted to change the diaper. I see a baby and I think of Jake knocking a hot cup of coffee out of my hand and onto his a...

My role in Christmas is getting less and less every year. A few years ago Kathy gave me a list of clothes to get for her, leaving a bit of it up to my imagination - she returned every single gift that year. So, to make it easier, we (meaning she) decided that she'd get the essential clothing items and if I so desired I could get her a couple of additional gifts. Which works just fine for me. Except... She refuses to wrap her own presents. So, this morning seeing a few of the gifts and figuring I could make good use of my time, I decided to wrap them a good twenty days before Christmas. Let me set the scene - I was in the bedroom and there wasn't a good flat surface to lay the paper down and cut it - so I went to the floor - with the two dogs gathered around me wondering what the hell was going on. I smoothed out the paper and Melky walked over it, ripping a huge hole in it - I yelled at her and she jumped up on the bed where she could look down at me as I worked. I grabbed a pi...

Man, there were a lot of days when I was a bachelor - probably too many - when I would sit alone, listen to music, drink a few beers, and pontificate about what was wrong and right about life. I still do it, but not nearly enough - tonight we were scheduled for a Christmas party and I threw a little Bruce on as I got myself dolled-up. For those of you who know me, that was a good laugh, right? For those of you who don't - it took twenty-five seconds. Anyway, the first Bruce song playing was Because the Night - a song he gave away to Patti Smith - and she made it a hit - Bruce sang it afterwards and made it good. The version I was listening to was sung along with Michael Stipe of REM and the part of the song that got me was - "Love is a Banquet at which we feed." What kills me about the line is that love is certainly a banquet, but only if we choose to do so - it is so easy to forget about the banquet right in front of us. We can certainly blow off feeding at the trough i...

2007 - Tracy Chapman - Our Bright Future I used to think about what's real and true What can not be proven; what can not be assumed. Once when I was younger, in the bloom of youth I received an honest answer when a lie would do. And now all I do is sit in my darkened room, and on occasion break my silence, to howl at the moon. To curse every nerve and neuron in my brain That won't stop the pain I'm feeling And let me stop thinking I used to think, Galileo would agree that the world was round and you'd come round, to me But I have looked for you and you're nowhere in sight the world must be flat the Babylonians were right And now all I do is sit in my darkened room, and on occasion break my silence, to howl at the moon. To curse every nerve and neuron in my brain That won't stop the pain I'm feeling And let me stop thinking I used to think, consider gravity, If I placed you on a pedestal, you'd slip and fall for me But you floated on the air far away at l...

See 'ya Juice - now who's going to look for the real killers?

Shocking news out of England! Boy George was convicted of falsely imprisoning a male hooker and brutally assaulting the confused dude. This conviction comes on the heels of Boy George's past trouble with the law when he called in a burglary attempt while in New York City. The cops who responded to that call arrested him for possession of cocaine. As Ace Ventura used to say - allrightythen. What a mess. The old Culture Club song was: Do you Really Want to Hurt Me? and I also knew a lot of people who knew all the words to the other hit song - come-a-come-a-chameleon, too. Not me - I draw the line - my music tastes are all over the board - but I knew that dude was weird. Where to start? Inviting a male hooker into your home? Tying up the hooker and beating him because he hacked your computer files? Calling the police to report a break-in because you're looking to remain in the public eye? Not clearing the drugs out of your apartment before you place that call? Dressing up like so...

Today I heard Will Smith talking about marriage. He explained that he and his wife took divorce off the table as a possible option. Now, I've always liked Will Smith and I've always thought the Fresh Prince of Bel Air was funny enough, but his philosophy on marriage, while seemingly a fresh idea, is actually just the "old" thought coming back to the mainstream. It seems odd that a superstar making millions and millions of dollars would actually consider something as odd as loyalty in a marriage. You see, I can respect Will Smith as he and I are both sex symbols in a day and age when loyalty is in short supply, but we both are of the thought that a marriage commitment is just that - a solid commitment - as it used to be in the good old days before people started questioning just how happy they are. Of course you aren't happy! You're married! (Just kidding, dear). "With divorce off the table, we needed to figure out ways to actually enjoy being around one a...

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire - Are you kidding me? I've always hated Christmas songs - 'I'm dreaming of a White Christmas' might be my all-time most hated. Perhaps it's because the freaking singer has never driven to my parents' home with 3 whiny kids through a blinding snowstorm with a wife - who sounds like Edith Bunker singing the freaking song in his ear. And Rudolph? "They never let poor Rudolph play in any reindeer games - well, let me tell you, I went to high school with kids like Rudolph - stop whining about your perceived disability and get in there and make your own way - people aren't making fun of you because of your shiny nose - it's because you walk around like a wimp, kicking at the dirt - suck it up old Rudolph. Frosty the Snowman? Yeah, you're fat, get over it - it's hot in the greenhouse, so stay clear of there - and two eyes made out of coal - give me a break. Of course Santa Claus is Coming to Town would also be a ...

My always thoughtful and wonderful sister, Corinne, set the family up on a website where we could work to exchange gift ideas and friendly dialogue so that the gift-buying experience wasn't so difficult. It was a fine idea for a normal family, but I just got through reading some of the anonymously posted comments and I couldn't help but laugh - hysterically. We picked on one another unmercifully for all sorts of faults. As you might guess I was asked for my bra size, one of my sister-in-laws was asked - "How about a brain -would you like one of those?" Line after line of random punch lines was delivered by one and all. I'm certain that no one actually took the bitterness to heart. My wife who was butchered by one brother-in-law simply shrugged it off - "What did you expect?" she asked as I laughed at one post that suggested she buy a recipe book - "You're all a bunch of idiots." Not sure, but I think my wife threw a full insults in there to...

You know you're getting old when you start watching the Discovery Channel and you're thinking it's the best thing on tv, by far. I caught a recap of the Charles Manson Helter Skelter murders in 1969 and I was glued to the set. Some of the reasons why: 1). They interviewed a couple of middle-aged women who were part of the cult, but not part of the murders. Talk about wanting to forget your past! The one lady couldn't help but cry when they showed her as a bald, 19-year-old with a red cross on her forehead, crawling to the courthouse. "Charlie had a hold on all of us," she said. 2). One lady escaped by walking 27 miles thru the desert to escape. She eventually testified against Manson's control - "I thought he had a line to god," she said. 3). The murders are still sensational, even by today's murder every other day standards. It's appalling to see the words on the walls in the victim's blood. 4). Manson is considered the face of pure ...

There's a story in the NY Post that explains that the Cruise Family and the Beckham Family have decided to join together in something akin to marriage. The story was accompanied with a photo of Cruise and Beckham looking kind of like a man and a man. The story was just a couple of paragraphs long and it basically said that the two couples have felt such a special bond that they want to have a ceremony to voice their feelings for each other. Does anyone else find this strange? I mean I have a couple of good buddies and my wife gets along with their wives, but to have a ceremony to tell the world about it? As a matter of fact, my wife and I usually do a pretty good George Burns-Gracie Allen routine at parties. We'll get into conversation with other couples and my wife will say: "If something ever happened to me, would you remarry?" I always, always answer - "No, you ruined it for everyone." Then I'll say - "Would you remarry?" "Of course,...

I was just 12 years old when the blizzard of '77 hit the Western New York area and although it was a horrible storm that created a ton of problems, I remember it as a good time. The entire family was stuck in the house with nowhere to go and not a single thing to do. I remember playing Monopoly with my brothers and sisters and my father who was thrilled, I'm sure, to be trapped in the house with six kids ranging from 14 to 2. I remember the police driving up to our home on snowmobiles asking if we needed anything and my father requesting cigarettes - they brought them back too. I thought of all of this and more today as it started to snow. The roads were slippery for a few minutes and the snow was coming down and it crossed my mind that I'd love a nasty storm to hit - just after everyone returned safely to their homes. I suppose that living in Buffalo has made me appreciate the power of a good storm and what can be done to weather it. Lately I've been hearing about a lo...

So, Hilliary Clinton made it into Obama's cabinet. Not sure what to make of that, but at least Saturday Night Live will still be in business - people love making fun of Hil and Bill. I'm tired of the stories of Christmas shoppers already - not only does some poor guy get trampled to death, but when they closed the store to investigate his death a woman was shown screaming that it wasn't fair to her because she had waited in line for hours - little perspective, huh, lady? Plaxico Burress is a wide receiver who makes about 10 million a year - he shot himself in the leg the other night showing off his gun at a crowded nightclub. Brilliant! He was suspended a couple of times earlier in the year - but he is talented at catching a ball - and that's why we all admire him. Speaking of wide receivers - a former Bill - Eric Moulds is accused of punching a fan who had the audacity to try and shake his hand. Why are these guys so misunderstood? I see the 8-year old that shot his fa...