Thoughts of a Common Man

We're staying on vacation at someone else's home near Put in Bay Ohio. I was wandering around the backyard and saw the jungle gym made for Sean and Sonia back in 1977. There are 4 swings, a tire to swing on, a fort with the names written in and some monkey bars and a slide. The thing is really well-built and even though 30+ years have passed it's in great shape. The other night I had a few beers (believe it or not) and thought about Sean and Sonia and wondered where they were now. I thought of them as adults, with their own families now, and wondered if they ever came back to look at their old fort and gym set. Having my own children and waiting on them to grow into adults, I consider their lives now and wonder if they will be able to look back with appreciation and a sense of wonder in how much their parents loved them. Sean and Sonia's parents loved them - I imagined the happiness they felt when they first laid eyes on the gym set. I imagined them swinging high in th...

Vacation! I always believed it might be interesting to try and take a few days off - never actually tried it after the kids were born, but here I sit with sunburn on the top of my balding head; I had a few drinks, some great stuffed peppers and I even jumped into the pool and got ducked by the boys. What I'm trying to vacation from is a mind-numbing routine of madness where I do what all of you who are currently working do. What the hell is the matter with us? One of the songs playing near the pool last night was Check it Out by Mellencamp , you know it - Check it Out - get too drunk on Saturday, check it out play football with the kids on Sunday, check it out, soaring with the eagles all week long and this is all that we've learned about living. Well I'm changing - I'm not going to be so wound up anymore - I'm going to throw the ball around with the kids, hang out with the wife, go in the pool, drink more, golf more..... First I need to check my work e-mail.

I loved the movie - American Beauty - and more for the scene where the bag is floating through the air and the actor says something along the line of life is beautiful and it sometimes threatens his heart to see so much beauty. I thought of that line a couple of times through the last few days - I kind of thought about it in a backwards way however. I read about a couple of accidental deaths - one was a beautiful five-year-old boy who fell on one of his toys and pierced his brain. The other was a worker who left behind three kids and a wife. Both accidents filled my heart with grief as I considered the lives touched by these two people. Some people when they die leave marks on so many others lives. I read something, somewhere that said a life ends when the work that God has for you has been completed. It's a beautiful, profound thought, but one that does little to comfort those left behind. Yet when I read the story of a car hitting a tree, or a person losing their life after a lon...

In 1991 I was working my first big job in Baltimore. I was working with a heavy hauling and rigging company and we were picking up a 40-ton piece of machinery with a crane that was wedged between two buildings and in tricky wind conditions that could result in an absolute tragedy. I was almost sick to my stomach because there were 10-12 guys in harms way as the crane lifted the piece off the ground. At that time I was working for a tough ironworker who said little and scared everyone who ever met him. He was also a confident, intelligent man who was cocksure of every move he ever made. The other player in this story was an equally brilliant engineer from Baltimore Gas & Electric. She had studied for years and could dazzle you with plans, sketches, and ideas. On the morning of the lift, we all met near the crane. "Are you nervous?" the brilliant engineer asked the ironworker. The ironworker spun on his heels, looked her straight in the eyes and asked the question right bac...

The kids came up the stairs in a state of absolute panic. I'm not sure who was screaming louder, Jake or Sam. "Dad, the world is ending," Jake announced. "Oh yeah, when?" I asked. "2012," Sam said. "We read it on the Internet." "2012?" I asked, "Why so long, can't they end it earlier?" Neither boy laughed and Kathy looked at me with that 'the-kids-are-scared-it's-time-to-hug-them-look.' "The world isn't ending," I said. "Those are people who are trying to scare you. They're just dopey people who have nothing better to do." Kathy meanwhile started hugging them. I was sort of losing my patience with the conversation because they were certainly putting more stock in the Internet article than in my words of wisdom. "When I was a kid they said the world would end," I said. "And in 2000, they said the whole world would blow up," Kathy reminded. "And we're s...

Isn't life confusing? Opinions can be changed on a daily basis, and in this day of being labeled as this or that, we must learn to stick to our beliefs, but can we, really? Who should we vote for? Who's the best man for the job? What way do you lean to the left or the right? I saw a story today about a man who beat a newborn baby. All of my life, I've been against any form of capital punishment as a sort of two-wrongs-don't-make-it-right sort of stand. Yet I couldn't read the entire article due to the disdain I felt for that cowardly man. He was sentenced to prison, but is it enough? It messes with my head. I was taught to appreciate life from conception to the grave and beyond - yet - given my live and let live stance, do I have the right to tell anyone what they can do? Do I believe in pro-choice when I don't believe in abortion? I am live and let live - wouldn't tattoo my body, but appreciate your right to do so. Should we fight the terrorists to defend...

Heard a report that it is going to cost around $20,000 per ticket for the right to transfer your old ticket to the new Yankee Stadium. That is simply the right to keep your seat - then you have to pay for it. When I was in New York earlier in the year my seat went face-value for $180. Let's do the math, shall we - $14,580 for 81 home games and the $20,000 fee - anyone have $34,580 sitting around? I also played in a golf tourney with former Buffalo Sabre Jay McKee - his truck was parked in half the parking lot - it was an International truck face with a souped-up body - tv's, the whole nine yards - rumor through the clubhouse was that he paid $250,000 for it. Quick - anyone know how many goals a year Jay McKee scores. Try about six more than me and I can't even stand up on skates. My Freestyle just went over 105,000 miles and survived a minor traffic mishap - I have no aspirations on buying a new vehicle, either - just want to fill this one with gas every so often. What the ...

Couldn't take my eyes off a guy who was standing behind me in line at Office Max - as far as I could tell - every inch of his body was home to a tattoo. He had long straggly hair, a Harley belt buckle and his ears pierced about thirty times - he looked uncomfortable. I have worn my wedding ring once or twice and have never owned even a watch - I couldn't imagine looking like a Halloween costume - anyway - he spoke and his voice was real high and feminine - I almost started laughing. Listened to a guy who claims to have been to another planet where he met Amelia Erhart and actually got physical with her. He spends his days drawing symbols of his alien friends - and is adamant about how we're all missing the boat. His spaceship is due to arrive any day now. Heard about a black police commissioner who was personally offended when a judge referred to money being dropped into a black hole - the guy wanted an apology because he felt the term was derogatory towards blacks - a...

I believe it was Johnny Carson who said that your chances of getting struck by lightning dramatically increase if you shake your fists at the heavens and yell, "God Sucks!" I missed church today - I try and bring the kids every week, but once in a while, I miss Mass - there, I said it. As I grew up, Catholic school guilt made me feel as though I were worse than Charles Manson if I even thought about not going to church - yet, let us examine my day. I was up and out of the house by 7 AM - I played 18 holes of golf with my brother, my brother-in-law, and a good buddy. We laughed, made fun of each other a little, and had a healthy competition to see who would buy lunch - (I ate free - thanks, Jeff and Jeff). We were out in the woods walking around, chasing a little white ball. I honestly thought about the fact that I would miss mass, but I quickly forgot about it as we finished the 18 th hole - "Let's play 9 more," my brother said. I was feeling a little guilty - ...

My boys named the dog Melky after Yankee center-fielder, Melky Cabrera. If I would have had my way - we would have called her Chien-Ming-Wang. Yet, my wife didn't want us yelling - "Here Wang, here Wang," through the neighborhood. Anyway - these two dogs are so much in love - they are never more than a foot apart and each day starts the same - I tell Melky to give Shadow a kiss - and I swear to God, she licks the side of Shadow's face. Being a terrier, Melky is extremely possessive and it's never more noticeable than when I toss the tennis ball off the side of the garage - in Shadow's younger days, she caught thirty-two in a row without a miss - now, she can't catch more than one or two because Melky hits her like Dick Butkus whenever she makes a play for the ball. They say that having dogs is good for your health as it helps to relieve stress - I have to say that I absolutely agree. It really doesn't matter if I'm acting like an ass (which I do a...

--- I think of my 10- year -old son, Jacob, standing before the TV - hoping Jason Giambi gets a hit because since he was young, I've called Jake - "Jacob" Giambi because he hits from the left-side- if the real Giambi does something, my boy looks at me with a heart-filled of pride. --- I think of my mother as she considers a dog who died over twenty years ago - and cries - or of who thinks of a grandson opening a Christmas present and also cries. --- I think of my sisters and how they were always right there beside me and how they believe in me more than I do myself. --- I think of my boy, Sam, who will talk - uninterrupted for ten hours - because he's so secure in everything about himself. --- I think of my older brother who spent years beating the holy hell out of me - and then beat up a neighbor kid who had the audacity to say something negative about me. --- I think of my younger brothers who made me laugh until I just gave up on laughing. --- I think of my d...

I kind of knew that I'd be with my wife for a long time when shortly after I met her she told a co-worker that bitched so much that she could almost hear him in the morning shortly after he opened his eyes. "Your first words every day are, oh, shit, Woke up again!" she said. The co-worker bitched at her assessment . The reason why this was so funny to me - so shortly after meeting my wife - was because I absolutely hate whiners - and the guy she was talking to was the world's greatest whiner. While being a great guy with a huge sense of humor, this guy hated his job and all the people who were bringing him down. Every sentence was sprinkled with hate for the men (his employers) who were torturing him on a daily basis. It is so easy to find an excuse for all that bad that is happening - Springsteen wrote a song - "So they gave it a Name" and there is theory after theory of what now ails us - think about it - thirty years ago did you know what attention- def...

A good friend of mine is in a real battle for his life. He's battling a couple of forms of cancer. He's just 54 years old and he has five children ranging in age from 15 to 24. He's lived a good life, but understandably wants much more. He treats others with respect and has lived well - working hard every day. The other day, fresh out of his most recent trip to the hospital, his 15-year-old son asked him if he believed in God. "Of course," he answered. "You know that. Why would you ask me such a question?" "I was worried about you," the young boy answered, "And I wondered why God would make you sick. I've been praying and praying, but I'm not sure God's listening." "How did you answer that?" I asked my friend. "I gasped," my buddy said. "I nearly choked to death on the tears in my chest, but I told him that God was still beside me and that God would see me through this." "And you believe ...

George Bush's approval rating is 17%. How can that be? Is his family that big? Are people living under a rock? Who are these people? What are the redeeming factors? Still want to have a beer with him? I have a lot of friends who voted for W both times around. I have been in long, drawn-out arguments about going to Iraq, staying in Iraq, keeping terrorists in and kicking terrorists out - and I must admit, I love a good debate. Yet can we debate this any longer? In the first term his mistakes were deemed left over mistakes made by Clinton - okay - whatever. Monica plays the harmonica and life goes to hell. This term the mistakes are because Congress won't cooperate. Okay - solid point too. Yet where is the leadership? Why was he so hamstrung for so long? Wrong man for the job? A lot of people who voted for him now claim not to have - or say - what choice was there? I don't know, but we made the wrong one in 2004. I bring this all to light because I was speaking with a 22-ye...

Love Mellencamp - he's Bruce-like - and a great entertainer. Buy the new album - Life, Death, Love and Freedom I'm always big on redemption - lyrics to the new song - John Mellencamp, Belmont Mall Publishing (ASCAP) A Brand New Song Sweet Belly of the moment, you've realized you've changed And everything you are after has gone down the drain. You're nothing more than a drifter as you walk down your road. Not exactly the picture you'd be sending home. All these places mean nothing it's the people we count on. Here without a purpose, gone without a song. Yesterday seemed so sudden, today seems to have no end. So you button up the buttons and say goodbye to what has been. Those black and white pictures that file through your veins. That's the trouble with the future, it always stays the same. And your pride's been shaken and those people you count on here without a purpose and gone without a song without a song. In the uncertainty of a new day, opp...

You're probably fooled by the title of this post. You're probably thinking that I'm tossing out a writer's metaphor about what it means to be doing the wrong thing at the wrong time in someones life. You'd be wrong. Today - I literally drove the wrong way down a one way street - and I didn't get away with it. It's weird to get hit by another car - I nearly made it through the intersection - there's that split-second of apprehension - the cuss words fill the inside of the truck and then the crash of fiberglass on fiberglass and broken glass, and bumpers, and truly none of that matters. As you might suspect, I had no idea that it was one-way - I couldn't figure why neither of us had stop signs. I jumped from my car - unhurt - but mindful of the fact that a matter of feet might have ended my daydream about the new Mellencamp album, and calling the publisher, and making meatball subs for dinner, and doing the laundry and mowing the grass. A few feet an...

My back feels like a piece of plywood. My legs each seem to weigh about 200 pounds. When I turn my neck the wrong way ripples of pain shoot down my spine and make my toes stand on end. Who the hell's idea was it to play softball? The few beers I drank after the game masked the pain just enough for me to fall asleep on the couch - at 8 PM - as though I were 80 years old and had missed my nap. The two singles I hit weren't enough for me to ride the sport's high through even one day. I remember being in college and having to work out with my roommate's wrestling team. After a vigorous day of lifting weights I saw him in the hallway in our apartment. "If I could lift my arms," I told him. "I'd slap your face for making me work out." Yes - my philosophy of working out has always been the same - "No pain... no pain," I believe. We have a lot of stairs in our home. I'm writing this post just because I don't feel like falling down the s...

My favorite thing about the sport of baseball is that everyone eventually gets an at-bat. Think of that - I've seen my mother take her cuts. I've seen my grandmother stand at the dish - my wife, my kids, we all get a turn. I hadn't had an at-bat in about ten years, and frankly I missed it. When I was 12 or 13, I became a proud member of the Lions baseball team. We started playing with tennis balls and sticks from the woods - we weren't dirt poor - that's just what we had for equipment that day - and eventually we won our league championship twice. I was in my 30's when that happened and I'll never forget my mother being at that game - saying - "It's about time." My best friends in the world played on that team - I can't even tell you how many times I lined up with my brothers and pals and played - and won or lost - ate, drank and laughed. We grew up together, feeling the loss of our shortstop who was hit by a car when we were just 16. We ba...

Just two simple words on the CBS Sportsline header. Bobby Murcer was a longtime Yankee and a decent human being and he gets two words - Murcer dies. That's two more than most people get, however. Let's look at Murcer though - for one - he gave me a dip of Skoal. I was 18 or 19 years old and had just watched the Yankees win in Cleveland - Ron Guidry threw a two-hitter and the mood outside the Yankee locker room was festive. Back in those days, you could wait by the door to the locker room and the players would file out on the way to the bus. That particular Saturday evening, the bus was late, and so the Yankees had to wait to board. My brother and I were among a handful of fans that got to meet the players. I spent twenty minutes talking with Guidry . My brother got autographs of Winfield and others. And then Bobby Murcer emerged with a can of Skoal in his hand - getting ready to take a fresh chew. I asked him for one. "You're too young," he said. I showed h...

The news continues to be dour on the economic front. I read an article about plummeting stocks and banks that are on the verge of closing because of a poor cash flow. On the opposite side of the page was even more distressing news. A few men from Niagara Falls were arrested for stealing vases off of graves in cemeteries around the area. They were then selling the metal vases to scrap yards. About five grand was made and split among the grave robbers. Grave robbers! Are you kidding me? One of the arrested men said something about feeling funny since they started robbing the vases. But he also complained about needing the money for gas and food. I suppose, but can you imagine sitting down to a steak dinner knowing that you were profiting from the poor people who gathered together to memoralize their grandmother, or aunt, or mother. Good grief, God can't look too favorably on that crime, right? I also continued to monitor the presidential election and it seems to me that you'd j...

I read a NY Post article about A-Rod, C-Rod, Madonna, and a number of strippers. My wife has had a crush on A-Rod since seeing him in a tight-fitting tee-shirt, so I decided to hit her with the bad news of his infidelities. "Do you still find him attractive?" I asked. "Uh, yeah," she said. So, let's start the comparison. A-Rod can hit a baseball 450 feet with some regularity. I can hit a golf ball 200 yards - if everything goes right. Point - A-Rod. I can drink a case of beer over the course of a night. Betting he can't. Point - Me . When A-Rod goes out on the town he has steak, drinks fine wine, hangs with Jeter (maybe), and is surrounded by pretty women. When I go out of town for work, I eat at the all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffett and sleep at the Comfort Inn in beds that have to be filled with microscopic bugs. Point - A-Rod . He's buff - I'm on the anti-side of buff. Point A-Rod. He signed (2) 250-million dollar contracts. I have 11 bucks in my ...

My son Jake is one in a million. He has a quick temper and usually there is no stopping him from having what we affectionately call a shit-fit. Kathy and I have become attuned to the warning signs of such a fit - and we are usually able to distract Jake just enough to turn him in another direction. I'm glad we're doing it that way because when he was a toddler Kathy read something that said to let him just play it out - so she shut the door to his room - and he trashed the place - in the spirit of the rock group The Who - he tossed his clothes, his bedsheets, every Barney tape, and all of his cute little books into a pile in the center of the room. If we hadn't stopped him - he might have doused it all with gasoline and set the place ablaze. He's getting better. The other night, I felt one of his dour moods coming on. I sat on the edge of his bed and very calmly asked him what was wrong. "Everyone irritates me," he said. "Even me?" I asked. "Uh,...

It became a quest. I was going to get that pool to stand no matter what. If my family wanted a pool then, by golly, that was what was going to happen. I awoke this morning to these words from my wife - "Let's not even try to fill it again. Take it out of the backyard." I felt a little like the Chevy Chase character in Vacation at that point. I nearly quoted his famous line when I said - "No, you will be swimming in that thing. You're all going to have so much fun swimming that your going to be whistling zippity -do- da out of your asses." So, I went back to work - with most of yesterday's water gone down the ravine in the back of the house, I re-positioned everything. We blew up the sides to give it more strength - and back in went the hose. For four hours that hose pumped and those walls held. I glanced out the window just before supper and clearly visualized the kids playing, the dogs bantering about, and a bright rainbow overhead. I was actually lo...

Guess who has a pool! It's not a big one - just a little four-footer that is supposed to inflate as you add water. We got it from my brother who is moving to a much bigger model. The kids are excited, however, and 2 of 3 of them have mentioned that I was right and they were wrong about their favorite sports teams. Unfortunately, I was right and they were also wrong about the pool. We put it in the space behind the garage - which was okay with me because it didn't cut the yard in half. Except as we were filling it for the first time, my beautiful wife noticed that it was on a tilt. She emptied out the 700 gallons of water and we started over the next day - by putting the pool in the very center of the backyard - a backyard that I nourished, weeded and grass-seeded for months. "Have a little fun," my wife said. "Enjoy life a little." Yesterday morning, I started to refill the pool again. An hour into it, we had to abort the mission because water was spilling ...

A few years ago I had a book signing in my hometown. Signing books in my hometown is a little dicey because I know everyone and they know my family. Chances are the person getting the book feels that they should be getting it for free for all they've done for me through the years. I'm often a little embarrassed and a lot less hopeful that things are going to go smoothly. I once had an Aunt who stood off to the side of the line and said - "Are you going to pay for a copy? I have one at home I can lend you." Another time I was promoting my new book when my mother stood beside me and said - "I liked his book before this one better. This one has a lot of swear words in it." Thanks Mom. Yet at this particular signing a few years ago, a long-time friend waited for me as the people visiting my table stopped chatting. He stood before me and said, "You know when my son died in that car accident, I thought of you. I wondered if you could make sense of it for me...

When Jake was young, his standard line to bitch and moan about an injustice was to remind the offending party - "It's Not Your World." I thought of that today when I stopped to get a newspaper. It was early in the morning, of course, and I opened my car door, but then remembered that I had the exact change in my ashtray. I reached back across and grabbed the quarters - it took me all of five seconds. I got out of the car just in time to get an annoyed glance from a woman driver who - with a full parking lot all around - was trying to park right next to me. "Thanks for closing your door," she said, smartly. "Good morning to you," I answered. I made like she wasn't even in the least bit annoyed with me. "Looks like it'll be sunny all day." I even held the door for her and she thanked me. What I really wanted to tell her is - "It's Not Your World." Because I held the door for her- I had to wait for a good seven minutes as s...

Sadly I read a story about a man who jumped out of an airplane and somehow lost his chute on the way down -the results weren't good. There is the even sadder story of the 17-year-old kid who went looking for his hat and was wiped out by a roller coaster. My kids are never going to be able to walk out of Mom's sight lines at Six Flags. Sixteen people choked to death on rubber bands last year. Can you imagine those wakes? He choked on what? Why the hell was he chewing a rubber band? I'm always fascinated with the crazy end to a life. I suppose its because I'm a fairly cautious person and wouldn't think of being even a little reckless. When I drive I scan the surrounding areas for signs of danger. I gave up snowmobiling because I was always looking for the pond that was going to trap me, or the electric fence that would cut my jugular. Yet I nearly bought it myself in a bizarre manner on the day when the Bills played in their last Super Bowl. I was having trouble slee...

American Land by Bruce Springsteen - Copyright 2006 Bruce Springsteen ( ACSAP ) At the end of Bruce's shows on the current tour he plays this song and spins the lyrics for all to see: American Land What is this land America, so many travel there. I'm going now while I'm still young, my darling meet me there. Wish me luck, my lovely, I'll send for you when I can And we'll make our home in the American land. Over there all the women wear silk and satin to their knees And children, dear, the sweets, I hear are growing on the trees Gold comes rushing out the rivers straight into your hands When you make your home in the American land. There's diamonds in the sidewalk, the gutters lined in song Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long There's treasure for the taking, for any hard-working man Who will make his home in the American Land. The McNicholas , the Posalski's , the Smiths, Zerillis , too The Blacks, the Irish, Italians, the ...

So, A-Rod is being linked to Madonna, and A-Rod's wife reportedly ran off with Lenny Kravitz . Last year, A-Rod was spotted with a few strippers. He hit a homer last night, so I'm good with it. Yet how can I tell my kids about Marshawn Lynch's bad behavior and just gloss over A-Rod's? Does it matter who or what he sleeps with? Is it the Bill Clinton question all over again? I mentioned it to my brother - "Come on, dude, he makes 25 mil per year and women are all over him - do you think his wife ever really cared if he was doing someone else?" "Madonna?" I asked. "You'd reject Madonna?" he asked. I guess I'll never find myself in such a situation. I can't even get the mail without getting clearance from the tower over me. Yet my question when I read the NY Post story about C-Rod being off with Lenny Kravitz (If he's A-Rod - Cynthia must be C-Rod). He had a game last night. She's doing someone else in France - who's ...

I heard the Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want - today. I've always loved the Stones, by the way, but Mick Jagger is just a little too strange for me to have as an idol, like say, Springsteen. Anyway, that song's refrain hammers it home, but if you try sometimes, you'll get what you need. I got to wondering that if I got three wishes from saying rubbing the genie's lamp, I might have a hard time figuring it all out. More money, of course, why not? Set the family up for generations - that might be cool. What after that? World Peace? Come on, would you waste one of your own wishes on that? Good health? Certainly a desirable wish, but for how long? Is that even on the menu? A pool for the kids? Not happening. There are certainly people out there who would wish for even more wishes. How did I get to be such a simpleton when it comes to wanting things? I'm not after a fancy car, or new clothes - (those of you who've seen my style might wish that for me),...

A few years ago my family and I made a bet ... actually, I gave them three chances to win the bet, but now they want out. My wife and kids want a pool. They promised me that they would take care of it, but I currently have two dogs to feed, let out, and play with. I wasn't supposed to take care of either of them. I don't want a pool because I feel it's a waste of time and effort and we don't have the space. Besides, I'm not exactly brilliant when it comes to fixing or taking care of anything. I'm mechanically-deficient and I'll be the first to admit it. So we worked out a wager. Simple enough: if the Bills or Sabres or Oakland A's win a championship, they can have a pool. (The A's are Matt's favorite team). For years, I've been able to skate although the Sabres made it interesting a couple of years ago. Still I'm comfortable with my position in the bet. The family is no longer comfortable. They really want the pool. They all can swim. ...

It seems to rain everyday, doesn't it? And the crap weather isn't confined to Buffalo - heavy rains, flooding, cyclones , tsunamis, tornado's , wild fires, hurricanes and earthquakes. During a heavy rainstorm on Sunday, my boy Sam asked me what God is so mad at - I couldn't answer such a question - but if we start seeing locusts - I may have to come up with an answer. I told my wife that we're one imbalance from the whole planet blowing up. She gave me the look. "Can you imagine the line to get into heaven if we all go at once?" I asked. "Shut-up," was her concise answer. I get that answer from time to time. The 4 th of July is another great holiday. I think of amusement parks, barbecued ribs, Dave Righett's no-hitter from 07/04/83, Born in the USA, and the last good Tom Cruise movie - Born on the 4 th of July. This year there's a four-day weekend - think along with me - golf, beer, hanging with the family. Sound all right? Still not ...