Thoughts of a Common Man

First off, I deserve it. I have, since I was a wee lad, reminded all of my friends that the Yankees are the “27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of American sports.” Not so much thus far this year. They have been infuriating to watch because they’re stacked with good players and they’ve played so poorly for long stretches. When they hit the ball over the wall the fact that they play dumb is forgotten. Haven’t done it much. So, the calls and texts start coming, after a loss is in the books, and the next morning when a few idiots see the box scores. “Anyone know who won the Angels-Yankees game last night?” A long-time pal texted at 5:45 yesterday morning. “Angels 5-3,” I answered. “Oh! Geez. That’s 4 losses in a row, huh?” I gave him a two-word answer. The second word being, ‘off’. But, as I’ve said, I’ve earned it. “You’re going to tell me it’s early,” he answered. “It is early,” I said. “In ‘78 they were 14 back in July. They won the series.” “They didn’t look this...

Sweltering. That’s the word I kept thinking about as I limped around today (see ass, sore from yesterday). The heat didn’t help. And Buffalo wasn’t the only hot place in the country. Portland and Vancouver are breaking records. Brings back the old climate change discussion, and of course, we have people dig into both sides of that issue. All in all, the weather doesn’t have a lot to do with it anyway. Every winter, on the coldest day, someone will post, “8 degrees! What happened to global warming.” Doesn’t quite work that way. Just because you eat a sandwich it doesn’t mean world hunger is gone. My deal? I love the heat. The hotter the better usually, and the sun feels great. I was in Vegas once when it was 114 though and that’s a bit much. Also, Baltimore in the summer was way too damn hot. And of course, the reason why I don’t mind the summer heat is: Because I live in Buffalo! And I hate the cold!! Someone always complains about how hot it is. Never! Bring it!! I’m good. Stay hydrat...

My ass hurts to the touch. No one is touching it, fortunately. But it’s no laughing matter. It started out after a long scaffold climb at work, and then I swung the club for two straight days. But there are so many things you can try to work out the kinks. As an older gent, I know all of them. Ice was first. Then I tried the new massage gun that I got for Father’s Day. I couldn’t put the gun on the hurting spot. “Is this a muscle pull or something disc-related?” I asked anyone who might listen. Quite literally a pain in the ass! I went to the heat. Changed the heading on the gun and tried again. Got a little relief, and at this time in my life, I’ll take it. And finally, the Bio-Freeze. Slathered! A good night of sleep… …pray that I can stand up the rest of the week. There’s golf coming on the weekend!

 I love playing golf. Always have. That wasn’t golf!!! Johnny and Sam were swinging from their heels on every shot. I can’t even count how many times they swung and missed. Which is supposed to be a stroke, but we certainly weren’t counting all of theirs. They hit a few decent shots and even bogied a par 3. Usually if they got close I would grab their ball and toss it up onto the green… …and then they would hit their putts way too hard. I only got aggravated once… …they disappeared into the woods on 12 and were in there, way too long, in the middle of the hole. There were people behind us. “Let’s go! Morons!!” I was yelling. They came out laughing because they had found a dozen balls. And there was a single moment that was worth every nickel and all the sweat on that hot day. Johnny and Sam were flying by me on the cart. Johnny raised his eyebrows and gave me that mischievous smile that I recognized on his father’s face for years and years.  “You’re going too slow, sunshine,” ...

I’ve been in some awfully iffy buildings through the years. Recently here in Buffalo a couple of ton of material rained down off the facade of one of the buildings that was being worked on. Thankfully no one was injured, but it made for a crazy video of guys running away. What happened in Florida is absolutely mind-boggling. A full third of a building, packed with people, standing one minute… …rubble the next. Horrific and I pray for the lost and dead and their families. “No answers yet,” one article that I saw this morning said. Not hard to believe. But man, something went wrong! And in Syracuse yesterday a few of us were standing near the underpass of the ramp onto the 690. “This whole thing is going to come down,” one guy said as he pointed up at a long crack in the concrete supports. Just happened in the D.C. area. And that’s the danger of always playing politics. Infrastructure repairs are sorely needed. Or everything is going to collapse. One decrepit structure at a time.

My youngest is 21 years old today. That, in and of itself, is crazy. People told us, when they were young, to enjoy it because the days would just fly on by and they would soon be men. You know, it’s crazy to say but I worry about them more now than when they were little boys. Back then, my beautiful wife and my wonderful mother-in-law were always within arms reach. Now, knowing what it’s like to be a male in the second decade of life… …well, they’re kind of idiotic! I certainly was as well. But we managed to raise three boys who get out of bed and go to work. If I left an empty can in the hallway it might sit there for a week as they step over it, but they’re all right. And Sammy boy has always been the heartbeat of the house. As he goes, we go. He can bring the love and sensitivity. He can also bring the chaos and stupidity. But man, we love him and we worry for him, and we have one standing demand of him: “Get the clothes off the floor!” And tonight, I’ll worry… …as his best buddy, ...

I did something that I haven’t done in a whole lot of years… …read online reviews of some of my books. Now, I must say that I have great followers and the reviews that I read were mostly very positive.  There were a couple of stray thoughts that didn’t completely sing the praises of whatever book it was, but that’s okay, if I had to write a review of them years after they’ve come out, I’d probably nitpick some of the thoughts. But there was one review of my book “Nobody’s Home” that stuck with me because the reviewer - who was anonymous wrote: “The story was good, but the ending was terrible! I could never happen!! Don’t read this because of the unrealistic ending!!” I laughed at first because “Nobody’s Home” was based on a true story and the most true aspect of the book was the ending… …because it’s exactly what happened! I wrote the ending based on the news stories and the eventual resolution that led to there being nobody home! And I started to answer the guy or gal who wrote th...

 I kept thinking of the Mellencamp line: “Life is short, even in the longest days.” You see, I had a long day that wasn’t normal yesterday. First off, I worked hard to get the June 22nd release date on my new book, “The Barking Lions”. A book that was greatly dependent on Big Al, Chris, and Dan. Got it the release date through Amazon and promptly ordered a couple. It’ll still take a little while because that’s how it goes, but the day wasn’t normal for a bunch of other reasons. First, I didn’t feel well. Felt exhausted and my legs seemed to weigh 500 pounds apiece, but I had work visits scheduled and dinner to make. Time waits for no one. I can’t just take a day. So, I struggled and I also had to go to a funeral mass to say goodbye to a great Dad of a tremendous family. Didn’t want to do that either! And it was my brother Jeff’s birthday and he isn’t here to celebrate and his son reached out to me to see if I would golf with him when he came to visit this weekend. “Sure,” I said, e...

Today is Jeff’s birthday! I have a present for him.  Working out the final details, but the book will be available on Amazon.com  That’s his shirt on the front cover: 23 JFF There is so much in this book: We paid tribute to Lions lost, our forever buddies, Robbie, Danny and Jeff. We paid homage to our Dad’s and Mom’s. We mentioned a whole lot of people from our high school days, our friends from North Collins, and even a few college pals. And we told a story that tries to answer questions of faith, loyalty, forgiveness. Now, it’s not ALL true… …but most of it has a basis in truth. The most fun I’ve ever had telling a story! Thanks to Al and to Chris And to all the Lions Here and gone. Happy Birthday to my brother, Jeff. I miss him, every day, but I feel him with me too. Especially in the pages of this story.

There are a whole lot of extra golfers out there on Father’s Day. There were children out there too, which I didn’t much care for. Evidently a couple of Dads thought it would be cool to drag their kids along as they played a round. It was irritating because I parred 4 of the first 5 holes, and then lost my rhythm as I watched the kids play in the sand traps. We were also out of sync because we were a threesome again and we really missed our 4th as he suffered a death in his family. He lost his Dad, and man, I thought a lot about it as we went around. It was that kind of week. I thought about my Dad at baseball games. Especially one in Oakland when the Yankees lost in the bottom of the 9th when Guidry gave up a homer to Kingman. It had been a really warm day under a hot sun. Like yesterday as we motored around the course. I once went to a golf course with my Dad. We didn’t get to play because my younger brother was with us and he wasn’t gonna’ play. He was just going to hang out with us...

There’s certainly sadness around Father’s Day for me. Even more sadness this year because a good friend lost a good Dad. And I mentioned to him that he was now in a club where memories of his relationship with his Dad will greet him somewhere inside each day. I even hear my Dad’s voice in my own voice when I say certain things to my boys. Which brings about the joy of being a Dad. My boys are good guys, but I also see myself in them at their current ages… …which can be crazy too because I distinctly recall being an idiot then. And my Dad was always there with sound advice about life. The kinds of words that I will think about until I leave the planet. Being a Dad isn’t for the weak either. Thankfully, my Dad, my father-in-law and my friend’s Dads were all good men who took the responsibility seriously. Being a Dad means you work hard. It means you worry a lot. And as a son who has lost a Dad… …it’s fairly sad too. But the thing that can’t be forgotten is that the entire gig is surround...

Cole Beasley is a wide receiver for the Bills. He’s a tough, little guy and a fan favorite. He took some pain meds last year (his admission) and played the playoff game with a broken leg.  Wasn’t against science then. But he’s now against science. He was tweeting about God’s will and how science is getting too much credit. He doesn’t want to get vaccinated and is upset that the player’s association doesn’t have his back. Couple that with a story about the Catholic Church talking about not letting political leaders take communion if they’re not against abortion. Not that they have HAD an abortion but because they aren’t AGAINST it. Shutting people down for their thoughts. Just seems hypocritical to me. Both situations. The wide receiver talking about God’s will and “when it’s your time, it’s your time” but when it came to getting back on the field science was okay - he’s had surgeries and treatments. Meds and science. As for the church… …come on now… …they didn’t censure the previou...

 I drive around and listen to a lot of radio. Unfortunately that means a ton of radio commercials. There’s one that starts with some guy yelling, “Hello! I’m a unicorn.” Needless to say I don’t know what the commercial is about because I can’t change the channel fast enough. That’s not even the worst one. There’s one from Bambee.com that has some guy yelling at me for 30 seconds about how Human Resources problems can kill me. It’s an awful commercial and I’ve nearly driven off the road and into a tree to stop from hearing it. And it’s been on the radio four times an hour for the last 2 years. Those are the top 2 worst, but K-A-R-S for kids is also annoying. That song is just catchy enough to stick in my head all damn day. Television commercials can be better. The Geico ones are entertaining. The golf one makes me laugh every time. “You got a 12 on the last hole,” the one guy says. “Who’s counting?” The guy answers. We’ve had a few holes like that. The classic, of course, is about t...

  What a great time. The Yankees just had to hold on to win that game because Sam had worked it all out in his head. Father’s Day week and he was sick of Covid and of the sound reasoning of: “When are we going to ever have this chance again?” I wasn’t sure what to expect, but as the game started I remembered that I truly love the atmosphere of a baseball game. And I thought of so many games that I attended with my Dad in Oakland, and how we were the only ones at Candlestick rooting for the Dodgers back in 1983. (We were treated pretty rudely). I recall seeing Tom Seaver pitch at Candlestick on a July day when it was so cold there because of the wind that we had to leave! Then all the games with my brother and my buddies at Camden Yards. I also went to 40 games with my buddy, Fluffy at Memorial Stadium. “I still love baseball,” I thought as I sat there, watching the Yankees get one-hit through 6. “They won’t lose,” Sam reminded me. And we laughed about a lot of things as the game we...

I got the question at least 100 times. “Are you going to the Yankees games?” The answer was always ‘No!’ Lately I’ve been adding, “I don’t even want to watch them on television!” But… …I got a text at noon on Tuesday from my boy, Sam. “Hope you aren’t busy tomorrow night.” He sent it to all of us. Sam went online and found 4 tickets along the 3rd base line. He paid a whole lot of money. I thought I was being pranked, actually. I let Sam know that he didn’t have to pay for all of our tickets. “I’m not worried about it,” Sam texted. “I work so I can have a good time with my family. When will the Yankees play 15 minutes from our house?” “They’re playing lousy,” I said. “That’s why I picked the game that Cole is pitching.” And man, I’ve been disappointed with all of this baseball season. It’s not just that the Yankees are playing lousy… …it’s all the garbage I wrote about at the end of last year. The shift has to go. The pitchers using illegal substances. The homer or nothing approach. The...

“The good old days weren’t always good and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.” - Billy Joel Every once in awhile you’ll run across a Facebook post that looks back fondly at coming home when the streets lights come on, or drinking out of a garden hose or chasing fireflies.  Nostalgia. But was life better back then? Men went to work. Women were homemakers. The kids got hit with the belt and they grew up to be respectful and polite. Not sure how that was better for women, who were scared to speak out of fear of catching a backhand, or kids who were also fearful and had welts on their asses. “Men worked and they had medical care, retirement, a decent wage, and they saved money. When they got home women had dinner ready, and they were all dressed up.” Yeah. That’s a pipe dream. Didn’t actually work that way. “People went to church every Sunday. They confessed their sins to the priest and treated nuns and priests with respect.” How’d that work out? “Kids were outside playing. Not everyon...

The teams were set up by my brother-in-law Charles. He took my brother, John, who actually owns the cornhole boards that were made by my buddy, Jeff. Charles chose, as my partner, my buddy Scott who has been present at more surgeries in the last few years than a doctor. Scott was throwing left-handed. And we still almost won. The final score was 21-18 and I was outstanding, as usual, but the circumstances were just beyond my control… …and of course, there was a scoring controversy at the end that went Chuck and John’s way. Now, poor Scott, tried his best. I think he may even have scored a couple of our 18 points… …but the entire game was all about how unfair the whole thing was to me. I couldn’t have tried any harder. I simply couldn’t have played any better. Oh well. (This entire blog is pretty much a fantasy of sorts). You see, as we were playing Charles explained that they had to win because: “I don’t want to read all about how I lost when the blog comes out about the cornhole game....

We were at the family get-together on Saturday and someone asked me how old Matt was. “27,” I said. “I’m 28,” Matt, who was standing right there, said. We argued about that for a little while. Turns out I was wrong. “I’m 24 tomorrow,” Jake said. I thought he was turning 23. And don’t even ask me about Sam. The thing is, we have a photo of all of them standing together from about 20 years ago. I miss those guys! I watched them grow, of course, but it seems like those beautiful children were replaced by these big, hairy men who eat and drink everything in sight. And I certainly enjoy the men that they’ve become. We talk a lot about plenty of things. We send each other jokes. They’re kind and respectful and that’s good. As for Jake who is turning 24 today… …he’s wound tighter than a golf ball sometimes, but he also enjoys going out to dinner and trying new places. He’s well-read, which is surprising to him, but if I ask him about something he’s on it: “Yeah. I read it.” So, Happy Birthday...

Michael Packard was 45’ below the ocean’s service when he felt like he got bumped by something.  Then he figured out that he was actually in the mouth of a 🐋 humpback whale 🐋! The lobster diver 🦞 thought about his children and what it might feel like to die in such a manner.  (I can safely rule that one out - anorexia too). Packard thrashed around a bit and the whale brought him to the surface and spit him out. Unbelievable. My first thought was that maybe it was a fantastical story that may have been a slight exaggeration. The guy he was with claimed to have seen him expelled. An expert claimed that humpbacks don’t actually want to eat a human and that as a gulp eater (like Pops) doesn’t even taste his food… …and that whales actually like humans and that bringing him to the surface before spitting him out was an act of great care. I kind of hope it’s a true story. Here in 2021, it seems like there are more lies than truths out there. It was further reported that the man in...

 I’m late with everything here on Friday morning because Thursday was a bit much! Climbed to the top of the Verizon building to check a job. Was sweating profusely at the top and said to the roofer: “Man, it’s hot up here.” “You should try working in it,” he said, and we both laughed. So, I did work in it. Went to my Mom’s after visiting sites and cleaned up the ditch in front of her house. By the time I pooped in to see her: Sweating profusely. Hard to breathe. “You’re too old to do that when it’s that hot,” Mom said. Shuffled home and wrote reports. A visiting nephew from North Carolina checked in. “Must be nice to work while sitting on your ass,” he said. I got dinner going. Steak, corn and potatoes. Perfect meal for the day. That nephew, who is 6’2” and 200 pounds at 14 years old… …ate everything but the plate. Twenty minutes later he was going to Mighty Taco. “I’m a growing boy.” By the time the dust settled the Yankees were up 5-1. Woke up late this morning to text blasts: Ya...

I hear it every day. “The kids just don’t want to work! I don’t know what’s going to happen once we are too old to do it anymore.” And that’s a generational thing. Every generation thinks the next one sucks. Yet, my stance has shifted a bit.  A work ethic is definitely required, but I’ve watched my boys move from job to job a bit - they seem to have settled in now - but early on… …Jake came home a tad unsettled one day. “My manager is nasty. He was all over me today because I put my name tag on the wrong side. I’m left-handed.” The manager was a 22-year old kid. Jake was 17. “He does it all the time. He just tries to make everyone’s life miserable.” “Don’t take shit from anyone,” I said. “Ever.” Jake hung in for a little while, but he eventually left that job. He did it with dignity, but I had zero problem with him leaving. And things have certainly changed. My first job had health care, dental insurance, a high hourly wage, and a pension plan. Now an employer pays the lowest wage ...

 

Since January, I have tuned out of the political world. It’s a losing proposition. No one is changing anyone else’s mind. People are simply dug in, no matter how nonsensical some of the rhetoric has become. There is no chance that a man who lost an election in November will be reinstated this coming August. Yet, the media is covering the possibility… …bringing on “experts” to debate a fantastical delusion. Meanwhile, something as necessary as infrastructure repairs is held up. Both parties realize that we need to make improvements to roads and bridges and broadband and all sorts of other items. The Republican administration promised it 18 years ago. The Democratic Administration talked about it 12 years ago. The Republican administration spoke of it 4 years ago. Now we are back to the Democrats. And nothing gets done because even though they all agree it needs to be done… …no credit can be shared. It’s all block, resist and burn it to the ground before being seen as not a loyalist to a...

We were booming drives all over the place and missing 8’ putts by 6’. None of us were discussing politics or Covid. We weren’t discussing much at all except what hurt on who. The sun was beating down on us, and a whole lot of water was disappearing from the coolers on the sides of the cart. Even thought of dunking my gator on the 16th hole and icing my 34 hairs on my head. Didn’t even have last year’s fashion accessory with me. And Kathy texted me when we were halfway through. She’d known that I hadn’t been happy with last weekend’s score. “Better?” “Yeah, and Pops is unconscious right now.” I was staring up at the sun when I sent the text. Felt so good. Truth of it all was that my back has been giving me fits for three weeks. Got a rough sports massage on Saturday that hurt but man, I was loose. Getting older ain’t for the meek. On the way home, I was sweating and chugging a Gatorade. I’d asked Scotty, “wouldn’t it be great if this was the weather every day?” “We appreciate it more no...

I love Chicago Style hot dogs. They’re loaded with peppers, pickles and tomatoes. I was thinking about them when the plane from Kansas City landed at O’Hare and I was I  great shape for a good lunch.  I got two dogs and headed for a bank of mostly open seats. The only people near was a young Mom and her probably around 4-year-old son, Mateo. The woman held a sign to me: “I don’t speak English. Can you help me with my flight information?” I saw her boarding pass and the gate we were seated. It all matched up. They would be going to Lansing. I used two of the five Spanish words I remembered after 2 years of Spanish in high school and another two years in college. “Si! Bueno!” The woman smiled at me. She actually said something back that I may have recognized had I listened, even a little, to Mrs. DeMeo. I backed up to my seat across the aisle and my two hot dogs and the woman picked Mateo onto her lap.  Her sign was visible to all. A middle-aged white man made his way down ...

I’m not sure what happens when I get behind the wheel in Kansas. Maybe it’s the huge sky. Or maybe it’s the fact that I listen to tunes and just drift away a little. On Thursday the huge sky was so bright blue. Not a cloud anywhere. The music was good old rock and roll. Here’s what hit me: “I graduated from high school 39 years ago.” Good Lord! Seger’s ‘Like A Rock’ came on and he was singing about being 18 and as strong as he could be and then “20 years gone. Where’d they go? 20 years, I don’t know.” The air conditioning blew what little hair I have left and it was spiked high.  Grey and high. I laughed. Thought of an old boss who I never really liked. I stopped working for him in the mid-90’s. He was in his late 40’s then. “He’s in his 70’s!” Good God. The Cars debut record came out when I was in 9th grade. It was exceptional and all anyone listened to that summer. Still great! There were girls I thought a lot of back in those days. It’s amazing how a song can transport one back....

I have, through the years, written non-fiction books including, ‘Counting On A Miracle’, ‘House of Miracles’,  and ‘Oh Brother: The Story of Jeff Fazzolari.” All were painful endeavors. I’m not a fan of writing non-fiction because fiction is actually fun!  Non-fiction is work! Yet, when it comes to family there are moments when you need to step up. A couple of years ago, some truly disturbing news was received. David Neisser, a Dad of two, a husband of Carolyn got some devastating news: Penile cancer. There was a lot of shock involved. Was that a real thing? How the hell? What the hell? Oh my God! Yet, I became interested in helping Dave & Carolyn tell their story when I saw their reaction to it. Determination. Loyalty. Humor. Love.  It was all there. The book wasn’t easy! Carolyn and Dave provided great information and the extended family all sent me reactions and emails. There was medical information to read and understand.  I followed the Facebook page faithfu...

Miller the cat has become my buddy. Like Melky & Paris before him he has learned my schedule. But he has a bit of a problem. He sleeps a whole lot after dinner so he spends some nights wide a freaking awake. Getting to sleep for a flight the next day is a tricky proposition. There’s some worry involved and you sort of sleep with one eye open because missing a flight is less than ideal. I woke up at 3:49 and even though I was ready to rise I told myself that 11 minutes was 11 minutes, and I went back to sleep. Miller buzzed my head and I jumped up. Was definitely more than 11 minutes later but the alarm???? What happened to the alarm? I was afraid to look: 04:43. “Shit!” Is the only response. I jumped up and was out of the house by 5:00. I was lined up to board my flight @ 5:30. Was back asleep in an exit row by 06:15. And I thought of Miller. He had saved me with his usual aggravating garbage! He wakes me up a couple of times each night… …it finally paid off. I let Kathy & Sam ...

What are we thinking about? Life is starting to feel almost normal again. Which is pretty damn good. Masks are still necessary on airplanes, but small price to pay. The bigger price is having to sit next to all these damn people. The Yankees are back to stinking and it’s absolutely mind-boggling. Guys who have been good hitters for years are suddenly swinging through every damn pitch? One dude was getting swings and misses on 88 mph. I’m almost 57 years old - let me have an hour in the batting cages and I can get a bat on 88. Summer is the best. When it’s warm and sunny life is just better. I’m 4 days away from getting back on the tee and still a little aggravated by not playing well three days ago. But, that’s okay. Something to look forward to. Our wedding anniversary was Sunday. Twenty-four years. Pretty crazy. Was nice to have a day off and we had a big dinner. What else is there left to do? Next year seems to be a bigger deal. 25 years. Not bad. My next longest relationship was ab...

Kate Winslet is outstanding. We stumbled on Mare of EastTown over the weekend and while the first half of the weekend had lousy weather, the second half was better, so it took longer than usual… …but we caught it all, and man, it was great. This is truly a golden age of television and while people long for the old shows like ‘Three’s Company’ or ‘Gilligan’s Island’ (which had their place) the storytelling is so good in some of these shows. Kate Winslet has been in so many shows and movies, but this series was her best. The 5-episode format is also great because there’s more time to tell the story. Mysteries are also great because it gives the writer plenty of time to drop some clues and lead the viewer astray. I had moments when I was absolutely convinced on who did it. Was wrong every damn time. Great show! Terrific acting. Her Mom in the series was played by Jean Smart who was also terrific. Kept me from watching the Damn Yankees!