I Hate Law & Order S.V.U.
There.
I said it.
What is happening around here is that there's nothing on television anymore.
Reality shows suck.
I watch exactly one sit-com...Modern Family.
There aren't any other drama shows that interest me.
We watched Homeland complete.
So despite the fact that I'd much rather read my way through the evening after freezing my ass off outside each day, I look for something to watch with my beautiful wife as she recounts every second of her busy day.
Reruns of Law & Order are always on.
There are different versions of the program.
Some of them are passable.
The one with Olivia, Elliot, Donald, BD Wong and Ice-T....
is horrendous.
Here's a typical script:
1). Rape and murder.
2). They have absolutely nothing to go on.
3). Olivia remembers a time when it happened to her.
4). Elliot tells Olivia to suck it up.
5). Munch saunters by telling them that he found a needle in a haystack.
6). Ice-T confronts the suspect and calls him a piece o' shit.
7). Donald checks in and tells them to go see Wong because he might be able to shed some light.
8). Donald also says: "Hurry up! Before we have more victims!"
9). Olivia cries.
10). Elliot alludes to be hiding demons in his own life.
11). Ice-T yells again.
12). Olivia and Elliot stumble upon the bad guy.
13). It doesn't look good.
14). It's starting to look better.
15). Olivia shoots the bad guy.
16). Elliot is pissed for some reason.
17). Wong doesn't like it.
18). Munch falls asleep.
19). Donald says, 'Good job.'
20). Ice-T yells at all of them.
Garbage!
Then there are the episodes where they try way too hard.
We watched one the other night where the killer was a 72-year old man at the start. Turns out he was actually a cross-dressing 11 year old boy that was conceived when his mother had non-consensual sex with her own brother.
"Why do you watch it?" Sam asked the other night as I screamed at the television and yelled:
"Garbage!"
"I don't know," I said. "It's really only on as background noise, but I'm not sure why anyone ever watched it."
It's been on for 20 years or so.
Unreal.
I said it.
What is happening around here is that there's nothing on television anymore.
Reality shows suck.
I watch exactly one sit-com...Modern Family.
There aren't any other drama shows that interest me.
We watched Homeland complete.
So despite the fact that I'd much rather read my way through the evening after freezing my ass off outside each day, I look for something to watch with my beautiful wife as she recounts every second of her busy day.
Reruns of Law & Order are always on.
There are different versions of the program.
Some of them are passable.
The one with Olivia, Elliot, Donald, BD Wong and Ice-T....
is horrendous.
Here's a typical script:
1). Rape and murder.
2). They have absolutely nothing to go on.
3). Olivia remembers a time when it happened to her.
4). Elliot tells Olivia to suck it up.
5). Munch saunters by telling them that he found a needle in a haystack.
6). Ice-T confronts the suspect and calls him a piece o' shit.
7). Donald checks in and tells them to go see Wong because he might be able to shed some light.
8). Donald also says: "Hurry up! Before we have more victims!"
9). Olivia cries.
10). Elliot alludes to be hiding demons in his own life.
11). Ice-T yells again.
12). Olivia and Elliot stumble upon the bad guy.
13). It doesn't look good.
14). It's starting to look better.
15). Olivia shoots the bad guy.
16). Elliot is pissed for some reason.
17). Wong doesn't like it.
18). Munch falls asleep.
19). Donald says, 'Good job.'
20). Ice-T yells at all of them.
Garbage!
Then there are the episodes where they try way too hard.
We watched one the other night where the killer was a 72-year old man at the start. Turns out he was actually a cross-dressing 11 year old boy that was conceived when his mother had non-consensual sex with her own brother.
"Why do you watch it?" Sam asked the other night as I screamed at the television and yelled:
"Garbage!"
"I don't know," I said. "It's really only on as background noise, but I'm not sure why anyone ever watched it."
It's been on for 20 years or so.
Unreal.
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