Technology & Stuff

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Did you happen to see the poor slob who presented the car to the Giants Madison Bumgarner after game 7 of the World Series?

The guy looked like Rob Ford.

He spoke like Chris Farley when he was doing the motivational speaker skit on SNL.

He was sweating.

He was looking down at his note cards.

He was a bumbling...

...stumbling...

...dope.

(I wish I knew how to attach a YouTube video, but I don't. Look it up. I can't do everything).

Yet the guy was from Chevrolet. He was handed the mic as the commish, Bumgarner Erin Andrews and millions of others looked on.

Then he flat-out made an ass of himself with his inability to speak.

And it's always made me real uncomfortable to watch a bad speaker.

I always, always, always want to be the guy on the microphone. I absolutely love it, actually.

(My wife says I'm an attention whore).

Yet I think it's fun to make a roomful of people laugh.

I was at a wedding recently when the best man absolutely killed it in his speech to his brother. AJ Renaldo had great timing, was perfect with his dramatic pauses, and was well-prepared.

The gathering loved it.

The bride and groom loved it.

Mom and Dad were proud.

As I watched the dope on on the mic suffer through during the World Series presentation I could only think of his family busting his chops about it.

Truth be told, the first time I was on television it got me for a split-second.

The lights are hot.

Everyone is looking at you.

During my tense moment the host had said:

"Hi Cliff!"

I said:

"Humanna-hummana."

Then a split-second thought went through my tiny brain:

"My brother Jeff is gonna' tear me a new ass if I don't suck it up here."

Luckily I did just fine, but when the phone call came in immediately following the appearance Jeff said:

"Were you nervous for a second, pussycat?"

That cured me of it forever.

I do feel for the poor guy from Chevy.

He was brutal.

He actually was describing the car at one point and he said:

"Humanna-hummana, it has, um, uh, duh, good technology and stuff."

Funny stuff.

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