When the Dust Settles

Remember the moment in all of the old Westerns when the action stops and we are left to see what happened?

After the dust settles?

I was listening to an athlete speak of some sort of accomplishment that was achieved by bouncing a ball. The guy was talking about how it hadn't truly sunked in yet but that he would appreciate what he'd done after...the dust settled.

And it occurred to me that those of us who do not receive accolades for what we do on a daily basis are sort of always in a state of waiting because the dust never seems to settle.

I'm thinking it will settle eventually. At least I hope I'm around to appreciate it. And what will I be thankful for as the dust gathers at my feet?

1). That I did my best. No matter how any of it plays out, and no matter what the situation calls for, the best you can do is all you can ask. It is what we demand of our boys and what we expect of one another around Camp Clifford. After the battle of every day life I'm thinking there will be a satisfaction of sorts if I feel I've done all I could.

2). That I helped make those around me better. You always hear that about the superstar players and it's a fine goal. If you can help someone become a better person, what's better than that?

3). That I took the high road more often than the low road. For a while there this one was a bit in doubt, but as I saddle up the horse for the rest of the ride I think I'm getting there. I don't tell every single rat bastard that they're a rat bastard much anymore. The low road is easier. The high road will prove to be more satisfying when I'm trying to count it all up.

4). That I made the ride with a sense of humor. Through the years I can tell you story after story of people who surrounded me who lived life laughing. We have a real good time a lot of days around our ponderosa and hopefully it continues until fade.

5). Pride is a weird thing. I certainly would like for my children to be proud of their accomplishments, but too much pride can be a dangerous thing. I know that I've short-changed myself in enjoying some of the good things, but when the final tally is made perhaps there will be a lot of time to enjoy some of the things that went on. Celebrate your life. All of it. The full catastrophe of days.

6). The beauty contestants always seem to say that their life goal is to make the world a better place. That is certainly a lofty goal. Many people don't really get there. I'd like to. My kids seem to have me heading in the right direction. A work in progress.

7). Sometimes when the dust settles what we wanted is no longer possible. This is a tricky one. Heartbreak and disappointment can really set you back. Sometimes it ruins the whole freaking movie. I don't think I've ever really enjoyed a movie where the horse or the dog dies. Life is tragic. Life is tough. How do you live broken-hearted? Sometimes finding the answers and still winding up on the high road is a truly tricky proposition.

8). So the dust will settle eventually. What is the thing I'm looking for here? What should we all be looking for? Does it matter what the hell I think?

Some day in the future, I'm thinking it'll hit me.

Did I make do?

Did I use all of my God given talents?

Stupid SportsCenter makes me think of it.

Trying to see clear.

It's still pretty dusty.

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