50 Shades of Clifford
I work with a guy who's read all of my books. I've known him for 15 years or so and he always says the same thing whenever he buys one of the new books:
"Are there any sex scenes in here?"
"No," I answer. "I try to write clean because my mother reads every word."
"Tell her to stop reading them," he'll say. "I need some porn."
Now why he wants me to write sex scenes is a little disturbing, but I take it he is just being funny. I hope so because I can't write them.
First off, I'm a good Catholic boy...a long-time altar boy (leave it alone...the priests were always kind), and I'm not comfortable describing such a scene anyway.
Besides, I can't get too graphic...the scenes would be way too quick and filled with laughter.
But I may be missing out here because the book 50 Shades of Grey has sold a billion freaking copies and from what I know about it, and what I've heard read, it's an endless stream of scenes that would thrill my long-time reader.
And maybe we are really uptight about things here in America. They say that other countries are less formal when it comes to talk about sex, walking around nude and other sorts of behavior that would make all the nuns blush.
Of course, in my books I've sort of just wrote around the subject setting up the scene and then transitioning out by saying, 'afterwards.'
Which in many cases is four minutes later.
And I don't know...
Ah hell, I just don't know.
I'm thinking though that some of what is written is embellished.
Do people really break that particular set of acts down into something that has to be described as:
"She reached for my manhood."
I would most likely write that sentence differently.
And to read it?
Maybe some day I will. If that's the main selling point I will most likely skip those sentences in chunks. Unlike my buddy, I don't think it should be the entire story.
If you enjoy that prose though, good for you...you're most likely less uptight. I'm actually thrilled that people are still talking about books.
But 50 Shades of Clifford?
Trust me.
Now one would be standing on line to get such a tome.
"Are there any sex scenes in here?"
"No," I answer. "I try to write clean because my mother reads every word."
"Tell her to stop reading them," he'll say. "I need some porn."
Now why he wants me to write sex scenes is a little disturbing, but I take it he is just being funny. I hope so because I can't write them.
First off, I'm a good Catholic boy...a long-time altar boy (leave it alone...the priests were always kind), and I'm not comfortable describing such a scene anyway.
Besides, I can't get too graphic...the scenes would be way too quick and filled with laughter.
But I may be missing out here because the book 50 Shades of Grey has sold a billion freaking copies and from what I know about it, and what I've heard read, it's an endless stream of scenes that would thrill my long-time reader.
And maybe we are really uptight about things here in America. They say that other countries are less formal when it comes to talk about sex, walking around nude and other sorts of behavior that would make all the nuns blush.
Of course, in my books I've sort of just wrote around the subject setting up the scene and then transitioning out by saying, 'afterwards.'
Which in many cases is four minutes later.
And I don't know...
Ah hell, I just don't know.
I'm thinking though that some of what is written is embellished.
Do people really break that particular set of acts down into something that has to be described as:
"She reached for my manhood."
I would most likely write that sentence differently.
And to read it?
Maybe some day I will. If that's the main selling point I will most likely skip those sentences in chunks. Unlike my buddy, I don't think it should be the entire story.
If you enjoy that prose though, good for you...you're most likely less uptight. I'm actually thrilled that people are still talking about books.
But 50 Shades of Clifford?
Trust me.
Now one would be standing on line to get such a tome.
Comments