Bouncing on a Mushroom

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So I have a little bit of an understanding on what has been destroying me ever since January. The back and neck are feeling a bit better but the overall cause of sort of everything is the hip and groin pain.

Took the medical community quite some time, but it appears that I have a torn labrum in my hip when the guy behind me decided to stop...after he hit me.

Wasn't even aware there was a labrum in my hip.

Anywho-ha...they figure that it'll have to be fixed with surgery, but you know what?

I'm too freaking busy.

The hours slide by. I hear the docs in my ear telling me to try and work less. "Get off it," they say.

I told the doc he'd have to wait until the Fall. He laughed and called me an animal.

10, 12, 14 hours...rest tomorrow...damn, why does my hip hurt?

What-freaking-ever!

Yet Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky has been a little dour as of late.

"You need something to relax with," my beautiful wife opined the other evening.

(There's a good word - opined).

"You used to have golf or you'd go to the YMCA...you need something...you're too tense."

Uh, ya' think?

Let's look at what I was doing when I met my lovely wife:

Writing, Softball, Golf, Basketball, More Golf, Drinking Beer, Golf, More Beer, Video Games, Golf and Eating to Excess.

Just a little less than 20 years later?

Writing, Eating to excess and bitching at the hoodlums.

Problem being...what can I do now?

Golf, basketball, softball, more golf, golf and golf are out.

I can't play video games anymore because when I was playing it wasn't how it is now. The players didn't have facial expressions back when I played. I wasn't running through the wilderness holding a huge gun, or trapping hookers on the side of the road.

I don't think they make Kaboom anymore.

I can't drink beer anymore either because it doesn't sit well and I have to piss every twelve minutes.

"What should I do?" I ask my beautiful wife. "Knit something?"

"I don't know but you have to find something or you're gonna' be hanging from a beam in the garage."

So, I'm working. Hobbling. Writing reports, visiting sites.

Next few days I might head out and look for an old copy of Asteroids or something.

What was that one with the little Italian carpenter bouncing on mushrooms?

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