Friday the 13th-Happy Birthday Jacob

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Every morning of the school year I wake Jake from sleep by singing him a little song:

"Good morning, Jacob, it's time for you to wake-up, put on a little make-up and learn, learn, learn."

He hates me for it.

And let me tell you, it's getting so I can't even win a battle of wits with him anymore. He's a funny freaking kid and he loves to talk trash. The fact that we don't give it back to him these days is because we're all, frankly, still a little scared of him.

You see, Jake came into the world battling. Early, mad and on Friday the 13th. He was so sick for the first couple of years of his life and we didn't even know it.

I just thought he was mean.

(Her side of the family, of course).

He didn't much care for me at all.

And fast forward to Sunday when we went out to dinner. He spent the first half an hour giving it to Sam, who is such a happy child that he takes it with a laugh.

Then he turned his sights on me.

"How many different names do you have for Melky?" he asked.

"About ten," I said.

Jake, to the amusement of the rest of the family went through them for us.

Dooker, Duke, Melk-a-daisy, Melkinater, Nate...he went on and on...asking me for the origin of each name.

"Nate is short for Nater which is part of Melkinater," I said.

"Do you understand that you have mental problems?"

"My mother used to sing to her dogs," I said.

"Did she sing, 'Melky is my buddy, Melky is my girl, Melky is my buddy, we're gonna' catch a squirrel?'"

My beautiful wife couldn't possibly laugh any harder.

"She might have," I said.

"Seriously, there's something wrong with you," Jake continued. "Melk-a-duke-a-daisy is a little fat and lazy."

(That one actually came from Melky's Uncle - Chuck).

The people in the restaurant were listening in. There were tears flowing down Kathy's and Sam's faces. I got up and went to the bathroom.

I just had to get away.

Inside the bathroom I laughed.

15 years.

All that I've lost and all that I've gained in that time.

To be sure, I know what I've lost.

What I've gained is another Fuzzy wise ass.

Who would've thunk that a Fuzzy kid would be outgoing?

Have a great birthday, buddy.

Time for you to wake up, put on a little make up and learn, learn, learn.

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