On A Quest

I took Spanish for three years in high school and then two years in college. The funny thing about it is that I can't speak a freaking word of the language. I do know the numbers though.

Well, actually, I know a few words. Hello-goodbye, things of that sort. I wouldn't say I'm conversational in it though.

Yet part of the reason why I can count so well is because in high school we'd play Spanish Bingo for cookies. Our teacher, Mrs. DeMeo would call out the numbers in Spanish, of course, and I'd write down the first four numbers she called and then yell Bingo! She'd ask me to read them back, and with the FREE space and her undying trust she'd declare me the winner.

I'd eat the cookie and we'd start again.

BINGO!

Another cookie.

I think I had about seven cookies before she caught on.

And the tragic part of the story is that it's the last freaking time I won at BINGO.

Lately we have been going to BINGO with my Mom. We usually have sauce before or after and then spend a couple of hours playing. Chuck won, Corinne won, my Mom won twice.

Me and Sam and my beautiful wife have been goose-egged!

And it's getting on my nerves.

First off because it usually costs me a hundred bucks to get in the door. Sam needs pizza, cookies, pop...we play the damn pull tickets, and then we buy a bunch of boards.

And I looooooooooooosssssssssseeeeeeeeee!

A couple of weeks ago I needed one number. I waited three numbers. The prize was about $600. Some old bat yelled BINGO on the 3rd number called.

I'm telling you, I wanted to flip the table.

Also, BINGO is rough because you can't let your mind wander far when you're playing. Yesterday I thought of something I'd like to include in the new book. A couple of minutes later I was three or four numbers behind and some old bitty was screaming BINGO!

Finally, I'm not sure I like the man I turn into during BINGO. As I lost game after freaking game yesterday I got progressively more frustrated.

By the time the woman at the table directly behind me yelled BINGO! I was in full rage mode.

"BITCH!!!" I called out.

But I'm going to keep going until they ask me not to show up anymore.

Now it's not just a game.

It's personal.

It's a freaking quest to shout out BINGO one time.

Even if I have to cheat again.

Comments

deafjeff said…
Can I tell the story about Jeff and me at Bingo on here?

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