I Hate NetFlix

It started with the worst show I've ever seen - One Tree Hill - a bunch of 30 year old people pretending to be seniors in high school for about five seasons.

By the time they graduated they were middle-aged.

All the drama, all the angst, the I love you's - the you-love-him-and he's a jerk. Two men talking about their feelings.

Which never happens in real life.

If one of my buddies asked me if my heart was in the right place I'd vomit on his shoes.

I accidentally watched a couple of the shows because my beautiful wife found the show and had to watch 272 episodes in a row. When she announced that she was done, and that all moments of angst had found a happy end, I was so relieved.

We were going to get back to real life.

But no!!!

They found Friday Night Lights.

All of them. A few days ago I got home from work and found that Minka Kelly (an old girlfriend) was on every single television in my house.

"Do you think Brandon is going to be with Julie?" Jake asked Sam as we all passed in the hall.

(I may have not nailed the names because I DON'T CARE!!!!)

"Dude, turn in your man card," I told Jake. "For what just left your mouth you have lost all man privileges."

And did you know that there are five seasons of that show. What's that, like 100 episodes?

"It's so good," my lovely wife said.

"Is it better than weed-whacking? Is it more interesting than say, vacuuming?"

Thankfully, they have all had ample time to get through the entire freaking series without me shooting each and every one of them.

"All you watch is Judge Judy and baseball," my wife said.

"That's all you need," I answered.

Truthfully, the only way I watch every episode of Friday Night Lights is if Minka has a sudden change of heart and wants to rekindle what, to this point, has been a one-sided love affair.

I can't wait to see what the next can't miss show is.

Time for me to go.

Got the vacuuming done...

...does anyone know how to string the weed whacker?

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