Pops for Prez

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Recently, upon hearing the sad news that Herman Cain had suspended his candidacy for president, I looked around at what was left and decided that I wanted to start a campaign to elect my buddy Jeff Popple.

First off, on Cain...he had those stubborn sexual harassment charges that kept coming up.

Pops is clear there. He treats women and children with respect.

Then there was that 13 year affair...allegedly that Cain supposedly had.

Pops hasn't had any affairs...he was lucky, lucky, lucky (like me) to capture a wife.

So Pops over Cain all day long.

Newt Gingrich?

Remember when he served his wife the divorce papers as she underwent treatment for the cancer that was killing her?

Pops would never do that. He might eat her meal from the hospital tray, but he'd wait until she was asleep.

Rick Perry?

Have you heard him mangle the English language?

Pops is literate in every way. He can read, write and speak. He would be able to answer every question posed, and there would be no side-stepping the issue at hand. He might throw in an F-bomb every now and then, but Cheney spoke that way and we all loved him, right?

So who does that leave? Romney from the GOP, right?

Shouldn't be much of a problem there. Just keep asking Romney what he thinks of abortion. Ask him...wait 3 minutes and ask him again...he'll eliminate himself.

So we have the GOP nod.

Now to beat Obama.

I say a driving contest...winner take all. Pops is one of the great Grape Apes. Obama is a skinny, big-eared basketball player.

I'm saying Pops goes about 320. Obama will be back with me around 210.

The presidency is his.

We will all be better off. People will work. Greed and stealing from the top will be controlled, and Springsteen will play at the inaguration and the 27-Time World Champion Yankees will have him throw out the first ball before next year's Game 1.

I will be nominated as king caddy.

By the way, the ball he hits against Obama doesn't have to land in the fairway.

Just saying.

Start practicing it now.

J-E-F-F. P-O-P-P-L-E!!!!!

Comments

deafjeff said…
We must hurry though fellow Americans, the bad guys have taken over all levels of your gov't. They raise your taxes and take your liberties and oppress YOUR rights to pursue happiness. The fight these evil doers you must elect me, Jeff Popple to fight them. As you are well aware the Supreme Court has said that money is free speech. Therefore to fight these liberty suppressing people that are nothing like you, the good folk, I must ask for a contribution. Whatever you can spare, $100, $500 I promise to make it up to by letting you have your family reunion on the front lawn! Please make checks out to "CASH", I don't want to waste YOUR hard earned $ on accountants and Lawyers, They're bad.
07 December, 2011
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