Need New Kicks?

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So people are trampling one another for Michael Jordan's new sneakers that sell to inner city kids for $180 a pop.

Every kid needs them. Downtrodden parents are trying to decide between heat for the winter or new shoes for their kids. I saw one mother attempting to buy them one at a time on an installment plan.

This is something I really don't get. Of course, my friends know this about me. I usually kick it around in a pair of eight dollar Pro-Keds. I have never, on my own, bought shoes anywhere other than Pay Less.

In fact, about eight years back, I was invited to my company's Christmas Party. One of the big bosses led me towards his Cadillac in the parking lot. He wouldn't tell me where we were headed, and I was a little shocked when he asked me to follow him into a shoe store where he bought a pair of black dress shoes for me.

I've worn them twice since. But hey, I still got 'em.

And it goes much deeper than that. During my pre-teen years I was the only roller skating champ in North Collins who was actually wearing white, girl skates.

My cousin Carol handed them down.

I loved them.

My mother offered to buy me new skates a number of times, but I turned her down. I had good skates, why spend good money on new ones?

So I can't see the craze. The crowd looking for the Air Jordan's had to be pepper-sprayed to get under control.

And I don't even like Jordan. I read a story about him last week about the petition that his neighbors got together to get him thrown out of the neighborhood because of how poorly he maintains his home, how loud he is, and how he tosses his cigar butts wherever he pleases.

I always thought he was something of a jerk-off, but he's doing something right.

Everyone wants to wear his shoes.

Ain't no one lining up for my white skates or Pro-Keds.

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