Things We Should Be Able to Do Something About
All right. We are occupying the land, right? Are there things we can put on the agenda for discussion?
1). No more ATM bank fees. We can all get behind this, right? Have you ever been at a casino, for instance, and been hit with the question of whether or not you'd pay the fee to get your money?
Sure you have. Have you ever considered not hitting yes? Get rid of the fees, please.
2). No more lawyer ads. Ever. The appearance of the lawyer acting compassionate makes my skin crawl. A soft song plays over the narrative...as if the lawyer loves you.
"Have you been hurt in a car? Do you know what to do? You've heard it said a million times."
Yeah, we have. You're the one who keeps saying it! Shut-up! Shut-up! Shut-up!
3). No more political ads, either way, talking about how the other guy is all for his own party and will not cooperate with the other party and that when you are elected it will be a fantasy-land of cooperation.
You all hate the other party, and we all hate you. Don't make the ad.
4). The rules of congress have to be changed. 60 Minutes was all over the truth the other night telling us how these guys make millions. It's stealing and cheating.
A congressman's business card should say, "I steal and cheat. Thank you for being so dumb."
Term limits. Arrest the bastards. Something. We should be able to do something about it.
5). Stop telling us about the healthy choices at your fast food restaurants. We know the food sucks for us. We know that it's going to sit in our guts like a bowling ball. We don't want a salad. Got cheese, add it. Got bacon, throw that on there too. We ain't stopping at your greasepit to stay under our alloted points for the day.
6). And another thing. When we walk in to a place and step up to read the menu, don't immediately ask us if you can help us. Yes, we want you to help us, but we'd like 3 freaking seconds to look at the menu to figure out how we are going to make our hearts skip a bit. And when I'm done ordering don't ask me if I want an apple pie. I'm not a moron. If I wanted one I would have ordered it.
7). And those of you at the drug store and the dog food store. Please don't ask us if we'd like to save 1% on our purchase by filling out an application to carry your rewards card around in our wallet. Just check out the 40 pound bag of dog food I'm holding and shut up about your neat fan club card.
I'm not allowed to sign up for anything anyway because my wife revoked my man card about 12 years ago.
Occupy that, please, as long as we're bitching about things that won't ever change.
1). No more ATM bank fees. We can all get behind this, right? Have you ever been at a casino, for instance, and been hit with the question of whether or not you'd pay the fee to get your money?
Sure you have. Have you ever considered not hitting yes? Get rid of the fees, please.
2). No more lawyer ads. Ever. The appearance of the lawyer acting compassionate makes my skin crawl. A soft song plays over the narrative...as if the lawyer loves you.
"Have you been hurt in a car? Do you know what to do? You've heard it said a million times."
Yeah, we have. You're the one who keeps saying it! Shut-up! Shut-up! Shut-up!
3). No more political ads, either way, talking about how the other guy is all for his own party and will not cooperate with the other party and that when you are elected it will be a fantasy-land of cooperation.
You all hate the other party, and we all hate you. Don't make the ad.
4). The rules of congress have to be changed. 60 Minutes was all over the truth the other night telling us how these guys make millions. It's stealing and cheating.
A congressman's business card should say, "I steal and cheat. Thank you for being so dumb."
Term limits. Arrest the bastards. Something. We should be able to do something about it.
5). Stop telling us about the healthy choices at your fast food restaurants. We know the food sucks for us. We know that it's going to sit in our guts like a bowling ball. We don't want a salad. Got cheese, add it. Got bacon, throw that on there too. We ain't stopping at your greasepit to stay under our alloted points for the day.
6). And another thing. When we walk in to a place and step up to read the menu, don't immediately ask us if you can help us. Yes, we want you to help us, but we'd like 3 freaking seconds to look at the menu to figure out how we are going to make our hearts skip a bit. And when I'm done ordering don't ask me if I want an apple pie. I'm not a moron. If I wanted one I would have ordered it.
7). And those of you at the drug store and the dog food store. Please don't ask us if we'd like to save 1% on our purchase by filling out an application to carry your rewards card around in our wallet. Just check out the 40 pound bag of dog food I'm holding and shut up about your neat fan club card.
I'm not allowed to sign up for anything anyway because my wife revoked my man card about 12 years ago.
Occupy that, please, as long as we're bitching about things that won't ever change.
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