I Beg to Differ

Hands down, if you asked my wife if there were one thing she could change about our daily existence, it would be that she would like the arguing, about senseless things to end.

For instance:

It drives me up the wall that everyone in the world has come to some sort of agreement that Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player ever. My kids believe that because it was all they were fed as they studied the sport. They never even saw the man play! Yet enough people have repeated it for it to become fact.

I beg to differ.

My argument being that he won all those titles after Magic and Bird quit; he shot every time he got the ball; he was a miserable guy most of the time; cheated and dumped his family; spoke as if his poopy didn't stink; and is also in those horrible underwear commercials and while complaining about not having enough time to himself because the media was stalking him, appeared with Bugs and Daffy in a cartoon movie. Plus, and this is my main argument: if he would have played Wilt in a one-on-one when they were both 25 years old, Wilt would have beat him 15 to zip, and took down his shorts and spanked his pompous ass about halfway thru the game.

My kids don't agree.

We also debate whether or not Ryan Miller of the Sabres is the greatest goalie in the world as the Sabres announcers believe that he is: I point to the fact that he's 30th in goals against out of 49 goalies. If he were the greatest, wouldn't he be a little closer to #1.

My kids don't agree.

And the reason I beg to differ is because I believe that we as parents have the job to send a questioning group of children out into the catastrophe of life. Everything reported and agreed upon can't be accepted as fact. People once believed the world was flat. My children would've argued with me on that until I pushed them off the edge.

So, my poor wife has to listen. Every once in awhile the kids will turn to her to get her thoughts on the matter. "I just wish you'd all stop," she'd say. Then to get it started again, "Jordan was the greatest ever."

No wonder they threaten the outside world with the statement that if it doesn't stop, mommy will be called.

I can just hear them thinking: I'm not calling Dad he'll argue with me about it.

Comments

Gag said…
Mose Malone was the best. Really though. I agree with the kids. MJ was the man. He shot often but his percentage was almost as good as Wilts (54% to 47%). Wilt was a lot closer to the basket. Also, they both had identical PPG (30.1). However, Jordan 33.4 to 22.5 in the playoffs. Take that.
Cliff Fazzolari said…
But a one on one? Wilt wouldve shut him out!
Gag said…
No no. MJ to quick and would hit the long ball at will.
deafjeff said…
I think Magic would have taken him too. Jordans an ass.

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