Control
Jerry Seinfeld was in Buffalo the other night and he spoke about marriage, saying that there are moments when you absolutely can't stand the sight of your spouse, but that you can't voice that directly. "You can't say, I hate your guts, but you can say, why don't we ever have enough toilet paper in this damn house? What's wrong with you?"
I would say that there is a battle for control early on in a marriage. A push here, a tug there, an all-out roundhouse swing for movement that doesn't connect. Yet there comes a moment, I suppose, when you realize that resistance is futile, and that the grand changes aren't going to come. The conversations that start with "You know what you should do..." can easily be tuned out, by either party. Perhaps they should be tuned out.
Life has always been about controlling things for me - I figured out a long time ago that it is the very reason I write fiction - I create a world where I'm in charge, and everything I say goes - it's actually pretty freeing, but it certainly doesn't work in real life.
Understanding my complete lack of control in Earthly things has also been difficult in the last few months. I find myself daydreaming that if this would have went that way, and that would have went this way, things might have been different. Yet surrendering control is a difficult chore - see above description of marriage and know that a lot of them crumbled over the inability to control.
My lovely wife has always been great about understanding the moments when control appears to be just out of my grasp. She handles these ultimate moments of frustration with a simple look, or laugh, or suggestion I go write something. I usually storm off and amuse my self with Italian curse words until some semblance of mental health takes over.
Control? I don't have it. My suggestions in the control of real important things seems to be acknowledged and dismissed at times, by a higher love. Perhaps I'll understand some day.
Control around the house? Ask the kids - who's in charge around here. The answer is unanimous - "Mom," says Matt. "Mom," says Jake, "Mom," says Sam, "Mom," says Mom.
That's all right, because every once in awhile my ideas are considered before they are dismissed.
I would say that there is a battle for control early on in a marriage. A push here, a tug there, an all-out roundhouse swing for movement that doesn't connect. Yet there comes a moment, I suppose, when you realize that resistance is futile, and that the grand changes aren't going to come. The conversations that start with "You know what you should do..." can easily be tuned out, by either party. Perhaps they should be tuned out.
Life has always been about controlling things for me - I figured out a long time ago that it is the very reason I write fiction - I create a world where I'm in charge, and everything I say goes - it's actually pretty freeing, but it certainly doesn't work in real life.
Understanding my complete lack of control in Earthly things has also been difficult in the last few months. I find myself daydreaming that if this would have went that way, and that would have went this way, things might have been different. Yet surrendering control is a difficult chore - see above description of marriage and know that a lot of them crumbled over the inability to control.
My lovely wife has always been great about understanding the moments when control appears to be just out of my grasp. She handles these ultimate moments of frustration with a simple look, or laugh, or suggestion I go write something. I usually storm off and amuse my self with Italian curse words until some semblance of mental health takes over.
Control? I don't have it. My suggestions in the control of real important things seems to be acknowledged and dismissed at times, by a higher love. Perhaps I'll understand some day.
Control around the house? Ask the kids - who's in charge around here. The answer is unanimous - "Mom," says Matt. "Mom," says Jake, "Mom," says Sam, "Mom," says Mom.
That's all right, because every once in awhile my ideas are considered before they are dismissed.
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