Run Bitch Run!

I've met thousands of people from all walks of life. I've been in situations where people have acted inappropriately, and I have also spent a morning or two apologizing for bad behavior, but last night's wrestling match at the HSBC Arena had me and the boys sitting smack dab in the middle of a storm.

We had great seats. A perfect view of the ring and a quick walk to the bathroom. Everything was going great, until the matches began.

"John Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeena!" A voice cried out behind me. I quickly put together that it was a man screaming out for John Cena as though he were a Beatle, or Springsteen!

"You're the man, Ceeeeeeeeeeena!!!!"

Now I turned around and looked straight into the eyes of a man standing at 5'5" 167lbs (he announced his height and weight later in the match to us), who was dressed in a KISS t-shirt, and was holding one of the big beers. He was frothing at the mouth too and following the action as though he were seeing Ali-Frazier in Manila.

Yet it didn't stop there. The man screamed throughout the night, very often yelling obscenities at the wrestlers. He was willing to fight anyone who entered the ring who dared challenge his favorites.

Being amused at his actions faded quickly when he yelled that Big Show was nothing but a fat bastard with huge *@*s - bigger than his ex-wife's.

My boys laughed, but I started growing slightly uncomfortable. Soon enough, the usher got wind, and for about a match and a half, the man disappeared. Yet he returned just before the close.

"He's back!" Sam said, "And he has another beer."

I turned around to watch the man as he offered to fight Randy Orton for $20. Next to the man was a kid of about fourteen who was on the verge of tears.

"Come up here and fight a real man!" the guy screamed out. When Orton jumped from the ring and raced away from his opponent the man screamed, "Yeah, run bitch run."

On the way home, Sam and Jake couldn't contain their laughter - they hardly mentioned even one match - "Dad, what was wrong with that guy?" Sam asked.

"That's what happens when a woman marries her brother and then has a child," Uncle Chuck offered as way of explanation.

I've never seen anything like it - a man in his fifties,drunk beyond belief, screaming at the scripted wrestling matches as though he were watching Game 7 of the World Series.

Makes me wonder about his ex-wife. Thank God she ran bitch ran.

Comments

CorLeone said…
Funny Cliffy...Really funny ..sounds like you guys had fun and Chuck can readily recognize a Kook.

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