Pulling Pranks
Believe it or not, there's a lot of downtime at college. Despite the fact that parents everywhere believe their children are studying and working hard, there is plenty of time for beer, sports, and college pranks. In my circle of friends a good prank was just as important as an "A" on an exam.
My freshman year the four guys who lived together were natural enemies with the quad directly above us - nothing was out of bounds - I flopped down on my bed one day to find that my mattress was gone - I found it in the bathroom stall stored upright next to the crapper.
My roommates and I returned home one night to find our lights on the floor and all of our dresser drawers tipped over. We got our revenge.
One guy we nicknamed tortoise for his turtle like qualities loved a beanbag chair that he had since he was seven or eight years old. We not only grabbed the chair, we cut it open, and allowed the little white dots to rain down on the ground outside his window. "Look tortoise - it's snowing," - drove the joke home.
Bert - who never made it through college with a degree - once set about sixty alarm clocks around the head of his sleeping, nerd roommate. Each clock sounded at precisely the right moment as Bert sat at the foot of the bed and tried to calm the boy having the heart attack - "Good morning, Andrew," Bert said.
The kid in the quad directly across from mine once asked to borrow my Simon & Garfunkel album (yes, album) so that he could get comfortable with his girl. I gave him the album and then positioned about thirty guys to look directly into his room. When he leaned in for the first kiss we all yelled - "Get her, Tim!" The poor girl ran out of the room and Tim returned the album with a hearty, "Thanks a lot, ass---e."
We staged a kidnapping to impress a few girls, but the problem was that the guys who were supposed to knock us down with masks on their faces actually missed the meeting point by a few hundred yards, and really did scare the crap out of us when they jumped from behind the hedges - the girls ran off screaming and crying, and I was knocked to my knees and cut my leg. Idiots.
My brother, however, has pulled two of the greatest pranks ever on me. His first stroke of genius was intercepting my suitcase as we made a trip to a college basketball game. We were the only 2 on the trip, but as we arrived, I stopped to change clothes. When I opened my suitcase it was filled with just socks. He was on the edge of the other bed, watching me - "Forget something?" he asked. I had to buy new clothes at K-Mart as he laughed at me for two days.
The greatest prank ever pulled, however, was when he stripped all of the labels off of my canned goods at my apartment. Doesn't sound like much, but it was a classic prank that kept on giving - for the next six months I didn't know if I was opening canned peaches or cream of mushroom soup.
I still haven't got him back for that one.
My freshman year the four guys who lived together were natural enemies with the quad directly above us - nothing was out of bounds - I flopped down on my bed one day to find that my mattress was gone - I found it in the bathroom stall stored upright next to the crapper.
My roommates and I returned home one night to find our lights on the floor and all of our dresser drawers tipped over. We got our revenge.
One guy we nicknamed tortoise for his turtle like qualities loved a beanbag chair that he had since he was seven or eight years old. We not only grabbed the chair, we cut it open, and allowed the little white dots to rain down on the ground outside his window. "Look tortoise - it's snowing," - drove the joke home.
Bert - who never made it through college with a degree - once set about sixty alarm clocks around the head of his sleeping, nerd roommate. Each clock sounded at precisely the right moment as Bert sat at the foot of the bed and tried to calm the boy having the heart attack - "Good morning, Andrew," Bert said.
The kid in the quad directly across from mine once asked to borrow my Simon & Garfunkel album (yes, album) so that he could get comfortable with his girl. I gave him the album and then positioned about thirty guys to look directly into his room. When he leaned in for the first kiss we all yelled - "Get her, Tim!" The poor girl ran out of the room and Tim returned the album with a hearty, "Thanks a lot, ass---e."
We staged a kidnapping to impress a few girls, but the problem was that the guys who were supposed to knock us down with masks on their faces actually missed the meeting point by a few hundred yards, and really did scare the crap out of us when they jumped from behind the hedges - the girls ran off screaming and crying, and I was knocked to my knees and cut my leg. Idiots.
My brother, however, has pulled two of the greatest pranks ever on me. His first stroke of genius was intercepting my suitcase as we made a trip to a college basketball game. We were the only 2 on the trip, but as we arrived, I stopped to change clothes. When I opened my suitcase it was filled with just socks. He was on the edge of the other bed, watching me - "Forget something?" he asked. I had to buy new clothes at K-Mart as he laughed at me for two days.
The greatest prank ever pulled, however, was when he stripped all of the labels off of my canned goods at my apartment. Doesn't sound like much, but it was a classic prank that kept on giving - for the next six months I didn't know if I was opening canned peaches or cream of mushroom soup.
I still haven't got him back for that one.
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