Can't Get Enough

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David Duchovney, the actor, confessed to being a sex addict. Once more, just too easy.

First off, why did he have to declare such a thing? I'm thinking he got busted and is trying to hold the old family together. Word on the street is that he has a beautiful wife who was unwilling to kick it up five times a day. Five times a day!!

Give me a break. I can't do anything five times a day. Unless you're mentally ill, why would you want to? Okay, so maybe it is an illness, but how is it cured?

I'm imagining that the other people in the rehab group are all sex addicts too. Isn't that asking for trouble? Do the meetings end with everyone coupled in a corner - saying "Sorry, I slipped up again."

Do they sit around swapping stories of how they fell off the wagon? "I was at the grocery store and the cashier bent over to get some new bags... and I'm sorry, I'm an addict."

Do the therapists cure the patients by hanging up photos of say, Roseanne, or Nell Carter, or Sandra Bernhard, or that Asian woman from Grey's Anatomy?

Are there pills you can take to curb the libido? Sort of an anti-viagara type of deal? Perhaps a strategically placed rubber band will limit the desire for activity.

I mentioned the story to my wife - I also put in a subtle request, telling her that I didn't need it five times a day, but twice or three times might be fun.

Can you guess her reaction?

Yes, one long, drawn-out stare that kind of put a quick end to a dream.

Sex addict? Give me a break. Duchovney is either doing it for publicity or he's one step away from getting kicked to the curb. Either way, he allowed me a good laugh, and that long, drawn-out stare.

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