G.O.L.F.
Standing at the first tee - we all groaned, bitched and moaned because the foursome in front of us contained two women who addressed their ball, swung for the fences, and dribbled it thirty yards. They then high-fived as though they were on pace to shatter the club record.
"Gawd!" my cart partner said. "This is going to take forever."
The two women got to their first shots and promptly nailed it another 18 yards.
"Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden," I said.
My buddy just looked at me - "That's what G.O.L.F. stands for," I said.
"I know a few lady golfers that can wipe the floor with us," my buddy said. "Besides that can't be true. That's not how the game was named."
"Look it up," I said. "Women weren't allowed."
"Women should be allowed," he said. "It's just those women I can do without right now."
There were two more 37 yard rolls down the hill and I got out of the cart and started thinking about putting my tee in the ground.
"What I imagine for those women is that they took up golf so that they could spend time with their husbands," my buddy said. "You've had those discussions, right?"
I was definitely following his train of thought.
He put on a mock women's voice. "I want to share your interests," he intoned. "We can talk about our games afterwards."
The cart carrying the women finally got out of range for my tee shot. "Gentelemen Only Ladies Forbidden," I said.
I swung and watched the ball take off - it landed about twenty feet beyond the woman's tee box.
"How about gentelemen-only-overweight-bald-men forbidden," my buddy said. "It would have been called GOOBM."
I can't tell you what I told him.
By the way, golf comes from the Scottish word goulf which means to strike of cuff and/or from the Dutch word Kolf which means to bat or club.
I just imagine those ladies looking back at me as I hacked my way up the fairway - "God, why do they let those men play."
"Gawd!" my cart partner said. "This is going to take forever."
The two women got to their first shots and promptly nailed it another 18 yards.
"Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden," I said.
My buddy just looked at me - "That's what G.O.L.F. stands for," I said.
"I know a few lady golfers that can wipe the floor with us," my buddy said. "Besides that can't be true. That's not how the game was named."
"Look it up," I said. "Women weren't allowed."
"Women should be allowed," he said. "It's just those women I can do without right now."
There were two more 37 yard rolls down the hill and I got out of the cart and started thinking about putting my tee in the ground.
"What I imagine for those women is that they took up golf so that they could spend time with their husbands," my buddy said. "You've had those discussions, right?"
I was definitely following his train of thought.
He put on a mock women's voice. "I want to share your interests," he intoned. "We can talk about our games afterwards."
The cart carrying the women finally got out of range for my tee shot. "Gentelemen Only Ladies Forbidden," I said.
I swung and watched the ball take off - it landed about twenty feet beyond the woman's tee box.
"How about gentelemen-only-overweight-bald-men forbidden," my buddy said. "It would have been called GOOBM."
I can't tell you what I told him.
By the way, golf comes from the Scottish word goulf which means to strike of cuff and/or from the Dutch word Kolf which means to bat or club.
I just imagine those ladies looking back at me as I hacked my way up the fairway - "God, why do they let those men play."
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